


Heaven In Your Arms

by ComatoseSkyy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Car Accidents, Come join my angst ride, Depressed Alec Lightwood, Depression, Disability, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus hated Alec at first, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Procedures, Paralysis, Protective Magnus Bane, Sad Alec Lightwood, Sweet Magnus's mother, Triggers, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-17 23:51:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 77,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13088064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComatoseSkyy/pseuds/ComatoseSkyy
Summary: Magnus Bane's life had been turned over to the downside when a car accident took his father and his little brother suddenly. He became sour and hateful about the world and had been living with his mother ever since. 5 years after the accident, his mother picked up a child from the street and will he able to cope with it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, lovelies.  
> This is one of the fic ideas I couldn't shake off for months. It has been in my head for so long and I couldn't forget it until now so I decided to write it down myself. This is going to be a multi chapter fic.  
> I hope you guys will enjoy this with me. Then, again. Thank you so much for giving it ago. ^o^)/  
> Excuse my typos. I will fix it later when I find them again.
> 
> Disclaimer  
> I don't own the characters except Syfia Bane.  
> All the ownership credit belongs to Cassandra Clare. <3

***

 

Syfia Jasmine Bane is a beautiful wealthy woman of New York City , living with her beloved 16years old son, Magnus Bane. She had an independent glamorous personality, kind and gentle with her fair skin and soft features of a beautiful gorgeous woman. She strict yet kind and caring with people and had a funny sense of humour. Despite that Magnus and she had overcome a lot of things together. She had been born and raised in the heart of Indonesia, was set up in an arranged marriage with Asmodeus Bane, moved to New York City and had two beautiful children, Magnus and Rolam. They had been living happily together until her husband and her youngest son had been killed in unfortunate accident 5 years ago at Magnus’s 11th Birthday, the age of a knowing teen. Both of them were shattered, devastated. Yet, she took some time off, pulled herself together as she collected their business she and her husband had set up and raised Magnus alone by herself.  

Magnus had been hurting, she knew and she tried to help. But no matter how much she tried, Magnus’s heart was broken. He had loved his little Rolam the most and he had been the best big brother for him. The tragic accident had happened so fast and they couldn’t just believe their sudden loss. Magnus didn’t take it so well, even when they reached the hospital. He had stopped talking for two weeks, shut himself off for months and ended up in therapy. Somehow, Magnus lost the sweet smile he wore around his brother, ended up souring at the world.

Syfia sighed. Right now, Magnus was a 16 years old teenager, a popular highschool boy with many friends wanting his attention. But were they true friends? Could they accept his sadness and sufferings? Magnus had never told them and she felt like none of them care. Most of them just wanted to be his friend for his looks, wealth or popularity they could gain. That was until when she found out Magnus was down with a terrible cold and three of his friends, a cheerful happy girl and two grumpy boys, showed up in front of their house to drop some baked pastries and the school notes he’d missed. She was so pleased to see her son had some real friends and felt some relief. But she had only liked Catarina, Ragnor and Rapheal of his friends though.  

At the age of his fourteen, 2years after the accident and during his therapy, her son had been so stressed. He couldn’t handle the loss and the emotional sufferings. It was until when he couldn’t take it anymore after a therapy session. She found Magnus crying at her bedroom’s corner surrounded by her broken cosmetics. Syfia was shocked to death at first when she found out a trail of red lines and scratches, she almost had to hold onto the door not to faint and found out it was some red lipstick stains. She rushed to her dearest son, gently untangling from his hands curled around him to protect himself and he held onto her tightly, clinging as if she were his life line.

“I like them, Mom…” He sobbed, burying his face in her shoulder. “I want to be pretty.. Am I weird?” His sobs broke her heart and she let him cry, comforting him with gentle words until he had stopped crying. She looked into his eyes and wiped his tears off gently.

“You want to use them..?” She asked softly, approvingly with an encouraging smile. “I can help you, baby. No, It is not weird at all..”

She picked up the stuffs on the floor gently guiding him to the dressing table and started some makeup work on him. He smiled shyly, showing the sign of enjoying it. She made sure to add some golden glitter shadow of her favourite and ended up with a cat eyeliner which resembled of his gold-green eyes.

“There.. it is your first guyliner.” She cheered happily and finally, her adorable son giggled.

“Wow, I look good.” He studied himself in the mirror.

She snorted. “Of course you do. You are our beloved son.” She smiled and combed his black soft untamed hair gently with her fingers. He smiled and hugged her tightly. Her son had been so stressed with the therapy sessions and his inner struggle that led him to break down earlier today. Finally, finally, her adorable precious baby smiled and she swore she would make him happy and give him her entire support.

She taught him about the makeup she knew and Magnus started wearing makeup. It somehow became one of his therapies and Syfia was more than happy to buy him more, starting with a basic stuffs of his own and to a pro box. Magnus had gotten happier and accepted the session better. She would brought him to Sephora which would motivate and comfort him before and after the sessions. One the days he became depressed after a therapy, he jumped into his makeup boxes and she would join in, spending time with him and laughing together in their makeup tests. Somehow, it cured and cut of some sadness of Magnus and he got better to the point he cleared all of his therapy consultation sessions but his habit of wearing makeup remained and she was more than happy to support her son. He had gotten better than her in the makeup skills and it suited him so well that she felt proud and happy in her heart watching him everytime.

***

The noises of her son making his way to the breakfast table made her back to the real work of her flashback thoughts. She rolled her eyes and placed a plate of pancakes and fruits on the table where Magnus took his seat and grabbed the orange juice. It was his first day of his Freshman year and he was looking so good with his carefully applied brick red shadow and the kohl liner, complimenting and making his simple white embroidery shirt with a tight black skinny jeans and his designer shoes stood out. Syfia watched her son hungrily grabbed his plate with a smile and thought how good looking he was.

“Careful, Magnus. You will choke.” She warned him.

“Not happening, Mom.” He replied with a mouth full of pancake and waved around his fork which she narrowed her eyebrows unapprovingly. Magnus pouted and brought the fork back to himself.

“So what’s the plan for today, Mama?” Swallowing down the orange juice, he asked. 

“I am going to meet with a business partner today. After that, I will do some shopping for dinner, Kanak. We are making Nasi Goreng today.” She replied and Magnus beamed as it was one of his favourite comfort food. He finished up his breakfast quickly, thanking his mom as he planted a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Thanks, Mama. Take care on your way. I will see you in the evening.”

 He got up, taking out his Porsche’s keys as he walked out of the room which she had gotten him for his 16th birthday. Syfia stared at his back until the door shut, placed his plate in the sink and went upstairs as she prepared to go out today.

***

As she looked satisfied with how she looked in the mirror, she walked down to the car garage where Alan, her trusted driver, was waiting and opened the door for her. She smiled gratefully, took a seat and reviewed some papers as he drove her to their destination. She met the business partner, finding out the business would continue to grow and she was happy to work with them. After arranging the legal contracts and some paperworks, she was done for the day. She happily went back to the car, asking Alan to stop by at a market place for grocery where her family life would change entirely.

She stopped by at the shops, getting some meat and vegetables for the dinner and Alan following her to guard, she hadn’t expected it when her bag was being pickpocked. Her eyes widened as she looked at the thief and it was a boy of around 10 years old. His soft hazel eyes were also widened with fear as they met eyes to eyes and before she could scream, he jumped and ran away into the crowd. Syfia was too stunned but Alan, who had witnessed the entire thing, ran after him and managed to pin the poor boy to the ground no longer than in ten seconds. The boy whimpered loudly, as he hit with the ground, trying to struggle but his attempts died down in vain when the two strong hands of Alan holding him down. She hurriedly checked her purse which weren’t taken yet and rushed to them, looking down at the boy. The boy was looking at her pitifully, begging him to let him go.

“Are you okay, Ma’am?” Alan asked and she smiled, shook her head as she wasn’t hurt.

“I am completely fine, Alan. Now let the poor boy go. You are hurting him.” She tried to talk to him, looking gentle as the boy looked up in surprise.

“Ma’am, he tried to pickpocket you. This little begger is going to the police.” Alan shook him off rather too harshly that the little pale boy fell to the ground close to the feet of Syfia. He whimpered and her mother instinct kicked in and she quickly helped the child up. The little boy was on the verge of tears, and he obliviously gripped on her arms. His forehead is bleeding from hitting the ground earlier.

“Please.. please don’t hand me to the police..” He sniffled, trying not to cry in front of the gentle woman. “I am sorry! I don’t want to go to jail.. please.. please.. pretty lady..”

She looked down at the child. He was wearing a very worn out faded T-shirt with holes and a dirty 3quarter shorts with an over-sized slipper. He was looking so pale and his lips were so dry and chipped that this child hadn’t been taking care of himself well. His big hazel eyes were widened, looking so innocent and sweet, almost like a puppy’s eyes. His raven hair was tousled and stood out in every directions.

“Oh dear.. where are your parents?” She said in sympathy, taking out some tissue paper out of her handbag to wipe away the blood on his forehead and dirt on his face. He shrank and pulled away from her touch but she was persistent, drying off the blood gently on his forehead. The boy shook his head.

“I don’t know...”

“So where are you staying?” She swallowed the worry and fear she felt for the child and looked at the direction he pointed.

“Are you staying alone?”

A nod…

“Can you show me where you had been staying all times, sweety?” The boy looked at her in doubt, thinking whether to trust her or not. She took out a bread she brought earlier and handed it to him. He looked at the woman in doubt for a while but she nudged it to him and he grabbed it as fast as he could before she would change her mind.

 Syfia waited and watched as he ate it hungrily. “My name is Syfia. What’s your name?”

“Alec.. It is Alec..I think” The boy replied shakingly, fearing the fact that he would be taken to a police station and almost crying over how good the bread was. His eyes gazed on the bag she was holding which she had taken out the bread. So she quickly grabbed and held out another bread in her hand. “You want it? Let us see your place, sweety. I promise we won’t hurt you. I will give you more food. Trust me, sweety.. please.”

“No police..”  His voice was small and she gulped, shaking her head as she answered.

“No police.. I promise, Alec.” The boy finally trusted her enough, that she got up first from the ground they had been sitting and helped him got up. The boy had also tore his knees badly during the fall too and she couldn’t help it but mentally cursed Alan for rushing to the boy so hard. He took her hand and led them to his place where it was just a space in the street with some plastic covers acting as a tent.

“Th-there was a granny I live with..” The boy said while they entered the tent. “B- but she was sick and the men in the uniforms.. th-they took her.”

“-waited for so long but no one came and I was so hungry… I am sorry! I won’t do it again.. Please forgive me!” The boy sniffed again and this time, she couldn’t help but hugged him tight. The boy wailed and finally hugged her tightly, crying in her arms. He got her teary that she had to blink away the tears. Alec had finally tired himself out crying and fell asleep as his mental exhaustions caught up with him. She picked the sleeping child up in her hand and returned to Alan who had his eyes widened as she was carrying a dirty child she found in the street.

“Help me with this, Alan. Please ask around what happened to the granny he lived with.” He was taken by surprise but he nodded, asking around the homeless people around the place. Finally, one neighbor got all the information they needed.

“The granny living there? Poor lady. She had a terrible stroke in this weather and didn’t make it to the hospital… I am sorry to tell you this.”

“Then.. then.. what about this child? Is he her biological grandchild?”

“No. She picked him up around 4years ago. Poor boy.. when she found him, the kid had no idea who he was and no one could identify him. Except the necklace he was wearing. It said Alexander so we knew it was his name. He remember the name Alec himself!”

Syfia sighed as she looked at the poor boy. He was so pale and looking sick. His forehead was bleeding. His knees were bleeding. How could she help him? Drop him at a police station? Drop him at a community center? Send him for a foster care? No. No. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t leave a child like this in anyone’s care now so she breathed in, making an important decision as she looked at the child sleeping softly in her arms.

“Let’s go back to the car, Alan. I am taking him home.”

 ***


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus met with Alec~! It is not very pleasant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *
> 
> Excuse my typos since it is not beta-ed. All the mistakes are mine.
> 
> And I hope to update soon time to time. Hope you guys enjoy ittt. ^^)//  
> And do comment to let me know your thoughts. :D

***

 

The little boy seemed to be confused when he woke up again in a grand luxury car.  He looked around confusedly until his gaze rested on the pretty lady earlier. He was using her laps as a pillow as he dozed off.

“We are not going to the police?” The boy asked in a small voice and Syfia blinked, noticing that the small child was awake now.

“Oh, No. We are not going to the police. I am taking to your new home.”

“New home..?” His eyes widened. “What about Granny..?”

Her heart clinched at the words and she ended up stroking his hair gently.

“I am sorry, child. The granny had to go somewhere.. I asked around.”

“Wh-where did she go..? She didn’t come back for me?” His eyes became wet with glistening tears that she wiped them away gently.

“No, baby.. She couldn’t come back anymore. She went up to heaven. I will take care of you instead, okay?” The boy looked up with much innocent and hopeful eyes that she melted herself in. “I will get you some information about her soon. Just stay with me for a while. Okay? Hungry?” She asked handing him the whole bag of bread. He got up from her lap, sitting straight as he enthusiastically began to grab with his hand.

“Oh my, let me clean your hand first, baby.” She quickly took out the cleaning wet tissues out of her bag and gently wiped the dirts away. Alec let her clean them patiently as a good kid and he munched on a bread only when she finished wiping his hands to her satisfaction and gave him a reassuring nod. He dived in hungrily and she watched him with sadness, wondering if the boy didn’t have anything for the last 3 days… Her heart felt warm again with love and gently place her hand on his head, rubbing his hair lovingly.  

When the car stopped and they had reached back to the Bane mansion, Alec’s eyes were wide open, his gaze wandering around the mansion and the garden.  She got off from the car, and handed out her hand to the boy and he took it. She walked into the house, holding Alec’s hand and took him to show him around.

“Alec, you are staying in this house from now on.” She smiled. “This is the living room, and here, it is the kitchen. This- this is the room we locked up, and we don’t use.” Her voice fell as the memory rushed in. It was where Rolam and Magnus used to sleep together. “And here, bathroom for the downstairs.” She took his hand to the upstairs. The kid was looking intimidated by the grand marble stairs but she gave him an encouraging smile.

“And here, is my bedroom. Just across is Magnus’s bedroom.” His head tilted in confusion when he heard the strange name. Syfia chuckled. “Magnus is my son, Alec. He is going to be your big brother. You will see him soon!” The boy ((truly) smiled and it brightened her heart.

“I am going to have a big brother?” The boy gave her a toothy smile.

“Yes, he is! He will come back soon so let’s get you wash up!” She took him to her bedroom first, asking softly if it was okay to remove the dirty clothes to wash up. The boy nodded and she smiled switching the warm water on of the bathtub. Soon after, the child sat inside the bathtub quietly, surrounded by the bubbles and she enjoyed washing him up. Alec was a good quiet kid and he listened to her so well that she liked him more and more. He clinched on his necklace tightly as he let her washed him up and played with bubbles.

“Awwn, You have a nice necklace.” She cooed him and Alec grinned. “Can I see it?”

Alec nodded and opened up his hand clutching it. It was pretty silver necklace with a detailed oval charm with the word “Alexander” engraved on it.

“Can I keep it?” Alec asked in worry and she chuckled, rubbing his head gently with the shampoo.

“Of course you can, sweetheart. It’s yours. You can keep it on you all yourself.” The boy smiled and giggled in the water, making Syfia laugh as well. Having a young child and taking care of him was nice. Magnus and Rolam used to be so clingy and playful but ever since the accident, Rolam disappeared in her life and took a part of Magnus with him. She smiled as she washed the child’s hair gently, making sure all the dirt to wash away and clean him up well.

***

“MOM. I am home!!!” Magnus shouted from the living room to greet but there was no reply so he climbed up the stairs, checking his mother’s bedroom. He heard giggles from her bathroom attached to her room that made him frown. What was that?

Magnus walked to the bathroom, spoke as he let him mother know he was entering. “Mom, Are you alright? I am coming in.”

“Oh, come in, Magnus.” Syfia replied back and much to his surprise, he saw his mother bathing a young boy. They were smiling and laughing all happy that he frowned, displeased.

“What’s this? Are you babysitting someone’s child?” He asked, gesturing around the boy.

“Oh , No. This is Alec. Alec sweety, this is Magnus I told you about. Say Hi.” She smiled as she introduced them other.

“Magnus…” The boy murmured, wide eyed.. and cutely.. Magnus felt more annoyed.. He didn’t like seeing new people in his house. He didn’t like seeing children. He didn’t like those adorable things in life. He didn’t need to see him. The boy stared at his make-uped face, especially at his reddish brown eyeshadow and kohls complimenting his gold-green eyes. “Pretty!!” He smiled.

“Now, we gotta dry him off. Won’t you wait for us, Magnus? Dinner will be there soon.” Magnus still kept the frown but gave a slight nod. He retreated back to his room for a shower after his school, still feeling like his day was pretty much ruined by seeing someone else in his house.. because someone was a cute innocent cheerful child he didn’t need to be reminded of.

***

The little boy stared at the dinner with his mouth hanged as if he couldn’t believe it. It smelled so good and he saw generous amount of meat and prawns from the dishes. He looked at the pretty lady and gulped, as he waited her approval.

“Alec, I hope you like Nasi Goreng..” She added quickly as Alec tilted his head. “Our fried rice.. I hope it suited your taste.”

“It smelled so good.” Alec replied with his mouth watered and she chuckled, nudging him to eat.

“Then, dig in! Don’t be shy. We have plenty!” The little boy ate hungrily and Magnus watched him with his mouth open, staring at his gluttony manner and having an exasperated face on. Syfia gave her older son a glare and Magnus dropped his fork and spoon, giving her a look. He couldn’t believe she had dressed Alec in his old clothes when he was young. Did that mean he was staying here? He hoped not.

“I can’t believe you gave him my clothes. Did you intend to give him all of my old clothes?” He gritted his teeth, only his mom heard it since the boy couldn’t process any, other than eating the yummy food he’d ever eaten. It was so delicious and warm, which he had never had.

“No.” She whispered. “I am bringing him to the mall tomorrow to get him new clothes. Today was just too late so I had to give him your clothes. You can’t fit in them anymore, can you?”

“But they are still mine.” He bit his lower lips, glaring at her. “What are you doing, Mom?”

She rolled her eyes showing the sass of a mother. “Later..” She replied softly. “Now let’s just enjoy the dinner.” She added some prawns to Magnus’s plate sweetly and he could just sigh.

***

They were all sitting on the sofa of the living room and his mother was feeding the boy some cut fruits. He ate like gluttony and Magnus lost his appetite just watching him so he couldn’t eat the dinner much. He felt sick watching his mother caring about the child. He was scared if his mother would get attached to him, feel the need to take care of him that they would be stuck with him the rest of his life.. or until he could move out. He cleared his throat to make himself announced and to get their attention. His mother smiled and began to talk( to his horror).

“Magnus.. I have already introduced Alec to you.. This is Alec- Alexander. I found the child on the street and he is staying with us from now on.” She put on a sweet but strong determined face.

“WHAT- NO. Wait, isn’t it too soon? What even.. You just saw him today. How did you even meet him..”

“Oh, he kinda tried to take my purse. And Alan hurt him pretty bad…” She chuckled, kinda feeling sorry for the kid that her hand reached to the place on his forehead covered now with a cute Spiderman bandage. “He was bleeding. I am sorry. Does it still hurt, sweety?” The boy shook his head and she ruffled his hair affectionately.

“YOU TRIED TO SNATCH MY MOM’S BAG? YOU LITTLE THEIF.” Magnus yelled and little Alec screamed out a Sorry, held onto Syfia, shrinking behind her to avoid it.

“I am so sorry.. I was so hungry...” He squealed out behind her back and Magnus just wanted to drag him out from hiding behind her back but his mother would take it rude and she would never approve it so he had to control himself.

“I am so sorry.. I won’t do it again..” Alec whimpered at her and Syfia made an aww sound, hugging the little boy. The little boy looked up at the fuming Magnus with pleading puppy eyes but he took it as silly and decided to ignore completely.

“It is okay, Alec. I know you wouldn’t do it again.. You are just a good boy, sweety.” She comforted him, gently rubbing his back. “Stay with us, okay? Then, you will never have to worry again.”

“He Is Not Staying With Us.” Magnus gritted his teeth.

“Yes, he is.” Syfia ignored her son, cooing the child in her arms, which fumed Magnus more. “Now here is what we gonna do. I gonna drop this sweet child in his new room and tuck him in so he could get his sleep. Then, I gonna have to talk with Magnus later.” She glared at her older son who just groaned and rolled his eyes. “Wait here. I will come back and we will talk.”

“No!” Magnus protested. “ He doesn’t belong here!!!”  But she just got up from the seat, carrying the child in her arms and walked to the stairs with her head held high. Magnus was speechless and slumped on the luxurious sofa with a sigh.

 ***

Syfia opened a room just beside her bedroom which used to be for guests. She placed him gently on a chair, taking out new sheets and blankets for him from the drawers. He stared at her while she started to make the bed.

“Am I bad, Pretty lady?” He talked in a small voice.. “I don’t belong here?”

“No such thing, sweetie. You have every right to be here. Magnus- Magnus is just being stubborn.”

She fixed the bed and gestured him to come up. Alec walked up shyly to her and she gave him a warm hug tightly. Her hug was returned in surprise and she just smiled patting his back gently.

“I swear you grow on me more and more, Alec. I want you to feel safe and be happy. Perhaps, perhaps one day, I want you to think of me as a family.” Her beautiful teeth flashed and he nodded, letting her tucking him in the bed.

“Good Night, Baby. Sleep well.”

“Good Night, Pretty lady..” Syfia smiled as he still called her pretty. She wanted to plant him a kiss on his forehead but she decided to give him space for now. So she just stroked his hair gently. The sweet boy smiled contently as he drifted into sleep. Only then, she switched on the night light and went back down to the stair. Magnus was waiting impatiently.

“So?” he crooked his eyebrows.

“So we are adopting him, Magnus. He is a poor child.” She sat behind him, putting her hand one his shoulder. “I know you are not so comfortable with people but please, Magnus.. he is a sweet child. He grows on me within an evening. I am sure you will love him too.”

“No. I would never love him, Mom. Look at him. And you decided even without asking me. How could you just think about adopting some thief who tried to take your purse?”

“So I am asking you now, Magnus. I want you to accept and give him a chance. The poor homeless lady who took care of him passed away three days ago and he hadn’t eaten anything since. That’s why he tried to pickpocket.. I think he wanted to take the food, Magnus. Not the money.” She sighed. “It just broke my heart, Magnus. Let us take care of him. He didn’t seem to be a bad kid at all. We can raise him better.” She looked at her eldest son with tear glistened eyes. He knew. He knew and he shoved her hands on his shoulder.

“No. No. What you wanted is Rolam back. You want to raise him as Rolam. You are trying to replace him.” Magnus cried, tears streaming down on his makeup free face. She chocked, unable to reply about this. Yes, when she met his eyes, he reminded her of Rolam, her youngest little child, a chatterbox full of life. She longed for some traces of Rolam in Alec. She missed him so much. She wanted him back desperately but she knew Alec was Alec who seemed to be a very good kid. Perhaps she just wanted to take care of him.

“Rolam is Rolam, Magnus. I love Rolam so much and I will never try to replace him. He will always be in our heart. But I want to give Alec a chance. I want to raise him as one of my sons, Magnus. Why would you let a good child grow up in a street when we could have helped him? Let’s make at least one child’s life better. Give Alec the happiness Rolam didn’t get to enjoy.”

 She made herself clear as she spoke out. Magnus’s eyes were shocked as he stared into her eyes. Syfia was also crying but she had made up her mind. He couldn’t find any words to reply back too and her words made him cry harder. 

“So you have decided, Mom?” He sobbed backing away from her. “What about being just you and me?!!! I will never approve of that. I don’t have another younger brother. I hate this. I HATE HIM.” Magnus screamed at her and rushed away to his bedroom.

“Son....” Before she could say anything, he shut the door violently before he threw himself on his bed. She fell back onto the sofa and she wiped away her tears fast as she brushed her hair through her finger tips and went upstairs calmly.   

“I hope you will come to love him one day, Magnus…” 

 

 

***

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii, lovelies.  
> Here is another update. I hope you enjoyed this. I wanted to post earlier but everyone in my home(including me) was down with flu after the Christmas. I wrote a new one as soon as I recovered. xD  
> And by the way, I am so sorry if the chapters are so slow-paced. I made a plot and construct a storyline based on an angst idea and the story didn't even reach to that part ever after 8k words. Hahaha xD  
> I hope you'll be patient with me. I hope it will be worth it when I complete this work. :'D
> 
> Then again, excuse my typos or mistake. it wasn't beta'd and I hope you will stick with me a little longer. :') <3 <3 
> 
> ***

***

 

It was one of the most painful days for Magnus again. Since the boy had ever come into his life, the priority feel and the benefit of being the only child were all gone. His mother cared about the child so much it was worrying for Magnus. No, he didn’t like him. He will never trust the boy who tried to steal in the street. He might just be being jealous, childish or selfish whatever. He would never approve having another family member in his life.  That stupid hazel eyed, black hair child was getting the attention and his mother seemed pretty much doted on him. He hated it. He was scared if the image of Rolam would go away. He was scared the child would bring her happiness like Rolam could. He was scared his mother would love him as much as she would love Rolam and him.. He was scared…

Magnus curled up into a ball on his bed. His eyes were puffy from all the crying and he had to prepare to go to school soon. He would hate to show the helplessness and defeat of him, the Great Magnus Bane, to the school so he took extra time, pampering himself with his favourite back-to-school items. After a warm bubble bath he took extra time in, he wrapped a towel below his waist and took out some clothes-a black shirt with a gold collar, his favourite black tight jeans. He used a light touch of foundation and more concealor around his eyes, finishing up with setting by a touch of powder. He didn’t want others to see his swollen eyes too so he used grey eyeshadow, rimmed with heavy kohls around the gold-green eyes. As he was doing his kohl eyeliner, there was a soft knock on the door and Magnus tsked, swinging the door rather brutally. His eyebrow rose when he found the boy again standing in front of his room, fidgeting his hands shyly and looking up at him.

“Um.. Good morning… Pretty lady said you will be late for school if you don’t come down in five minutes.” He stuttered.

“I know.” Magnus leaned on the door and towered the boy, looking down at him, his voice being nowhere near soft and gentle. “That’s it?”

The boy nodded anxiously and he shut the door in his face, annoyed by the disturbance in his morning. When Magnus came down to the kitchen, he found that little boy and his mom waiting him for breakfast. His mom took the main seat and of course, that little boy was at her left side, just hide her.  There are three plates of breakfast ready but Magnus still resented the fact that the boy was joining. 

"Good morning, son." Syfia spoke with a smile. "We were waiting for you."

Magnus looked all black.  He accidentally chose black shirt but of course, he had to pair with it with his favorite black jeans. Then he had his dark heavy makeup on to cover up his swollen eyes.  Magnus was wearing all unintentionally black,  looking disdain to their last night's fight. 

"I am not eating here." Magnus replied,  grabbing a sandwich on his plate without looking up to any of them.  "Bye, mom. Have fun with your day." 

"Magnus!!!" She yelled from his behind but he didn't look back, walked back to his Porsche hurriedly and drove away. 

Syria just sighed and looked at Alec who was looking back at her with wide eyes. "Never mind, Alec. Let’s eat." She rubbed his hair gently.  Alec's hair was so soft and he had cleaned up so well that he was looking handsome as a child. He looked smaller and younger than a normal ten years old boy, confused about all the things since he grew up in the street but she hoped he would grow up well and healthy with her. 

Alec made a happy sound before he dug in enthusiastically with his waffles. 

"Do you like it?" Syfia asked, smiling, loving the fact that he liked her cooking. 

"It's very delicious." Alec replied with a mouthful of foods and a bright smile. She smiled and took a bite other salad. 

“Can I tell you something, Pretty lady?” Alec beamed while munching on his pancake.

“Of course you can tell me anything. What is it, Sweetie?” Sher replied fondly.

“I think Magnus is so pretty, just like you.” Alec beamed and it made her giggled, ruffling his hair fondly.

*** 

The days with Alec were very delightful for Syfia. He gave her a part of her past and her genuine smile back, having a privilege to take care of a child she had long forgotten. Alec became quite attached to her as he followed her pretty much everywhere. He was a shy and quiet kid but true to her guess, he was sweet and caring, wanting to help her works in their home. She found herself getting attached to him and he was clinging to her more since Magnus didn’t like him at all. Sometimes, when she was all busy with her works which he couldn’t help at all, Alec sat silently in the living room, staring at the television timidly but his eyes lit up everytime she finished her works and called his name or reached to him and hugged him from behind. He would giggle and hug her tightly back, resuming to staying beside her most of the times.

She turned her heels around and almost jumped backward when she saw a child figure standing behind the kitchen entrance, half of his body covered behind the door. It was an instant reminder of her little child, Rolam, and she squeaked, gripping the marble counter tightly for support not to fall. It was Alec and he rushed to her as soon as he heard her squeaked. It took her a few second to calm down and she just gulped, rubbing the cheek of the pale boy reassuring him that she was okay.

“Alec, oh god.. You gave me a fright. What are you doing here?”

“I am sorry.. I woke up and I wanted a glass of water..” he replied in a small voice. “I had bad dreams..”

She made an _aww_ sound and quickly grabbed a cup for his water. “It’s fine, honey.. You are here.. with us! You don’t have anything to be scared anymore.”

Alec gratefully took the glass in his hand and drank it. Syfia waited patiently and continued to make the breakfast again.

“What are you doing?”

“I am making breakfast, sweetie. Have a seat here, if you don’t feel like sleeping back.” She smiled and Alec beamed, pleased to be with somebody after his nightmare.

“Can I help?” Alec asked shyly and she was surprised, nodding happily that Alec wanted to participate in cooking with her. She had been cooking alone ever since six years ago and it made her ecstatic about one of her children making breakfast together with her.

It pissed Magnus off more when the boy clung to his mom more than him. He woke up early that day and found his mom and Alec laughing happily in the kitchen, trying to mix for a pancake. He snorted and walked to the fridge for the bottle without saying anything. Syfia greeted his son.

“Morning, Magnus. You woke up early today.”

“Good morning, mom. What are you doing?”

“Oh, we are trying to make breakfast together. Alec has been helping me.” He couldn’t help but rolled his eyes and snorted at that. That little thief was trying to win his mom over and it seemed to be working that made him hate Alec more. Magnus glared at Alec who seemed to be busy whisking the pancake mixture happily and took a seat in front of the bar counter so he could stare at what they were doing. Syfia happily chirped, pleased that her son was joining.

“How nice of you to join us, Magnus.” She smiled until her beautiful white teeth showed. “Maybe tomorrow, you can wake up early and join us in making breakfast together.  

Magnus groaned since he didn’t like to wake up early. “No. No, thanks, mom.” He showed a cheeky grin at her and his eyes returned to studying Alec. That little boy was trying to cut the fruits now, he looked up and met his eyes with Magnus. At the same time, he let out a yelp and both of them rushed to his side.

“What happened, sweety?” Syfia asked, studying the little boy.

“I cut my finger..” Alec whispered softly and shyly, holding out his bleeding finger to show her. Magnus looked at him who looked small and troubled/nervous.

“Oh, no. We need to clean it up. C’mon, baby.” Alec looked up at him before he followed her and Magnus made a tsk sound. Another tactic? 

“ Just throw all of these, mom. I lost my appetite.. don’t even wanna eat them.” Magnus said and threw all the fruits into the trash can nearby. Alec looked saddened and Syfia glared at the elder boy.

“Magnus!! You meanie…” She sighed. “Heat up the pan and make the breakfast before we come down.”

“BUT MOM!!!”

“No BUTs or I will take your car key back.” She threatened and he had to give in, picking up a frying pan for the pancakes. He started preparing for breakfast while Syfia tended Alec’s cut wound which wasn’t very deep, fortunately. They came back down to the dining table which the pancakes and coffee glasses were already prepared by a very pissed-off Magnus.

***

The growing attachment between the little boy and his mom has dramatically increased during the time being. Magnus hated it. But when he tried to voice his opinion out, he ended up getting angry and frustrated by himself. He hated how they made him feel like a fool. He may be very childish and unfair (and unreasonable) while expressing his mind, but still, his mom should be caring about him and not the child she picked up from the street a few months ago. He followed her pretty much everywhere, did the cooking/laundry with her, helped her in gardening.. pretty much sticking to her like a parasite.

The thought of the boy pissed him off everytime that it made him almost forget about his 17th birthday coming soon. It was the time of the year again, the December.. a celebration month for everyone but him.. his family… Everything was cold, hatefully snowy.. the month that took away half of his family. Rolam and his dad would have been still together with them if the December never came. The thought of his birthday made his heart painfully clinched that he blinked the tears away, arranging some for his party again. He gonna throw the biggest party of the year on his birthday. He gonna drink to his heart contents so he wouldn’t feel as much painful as it was anymore. It was hard to pass the day staying sane all day anyway.

“What are you doing, Magnus?” There was a knock on the table where Magnus was gazing on his planning paper in the living room. He looked up to see his mother smiling softly and she took a seat on the sofa just beside him.

 “Just planning for my party, mom. You know.. My birthday party.. As usual..” Magnus looked down and replied half-heartedly, trying to shove away any serious conversation.

“Well, of course..” She nodded, understandingly. “Do you want to talk about this, sweetie?”

“No. Not at all, mom.” He replied, scratching a party plan with his pen. He got up, preparing to leave for his bedroom. “I’ll let you know what I need for the party later, Mom. You gonna help me preparation, right?”

“Of course, Magnus. Just let me know.”

He smiled and nodded. Syfia just watched his back as he was leaving.

***

So Magnus’s plan was a bomb. Just like his other previous party plans were but only better and bigger this year. He planned to use their house’s garden and living room. And it was a family bonding time. He and his mom recovered from the painful time by making themselves busy and preparing for the party. They would go shopping, making a list of recipes for snacks, deciding, making and taste-tasting drinks and decorating the whole house, etc. But this year, they had extra person at home and that little trouble was having fun himself too. He tagged along in grocery shopping for the party, which Syfia gladly threw in new clothes and snacks kids would like. Magnus walked in front of the cart, choosing which ones they would get for snacks and Syfia and Alec just followed along and pushed the cart smiling to each other which made Magnus very upset. They looked like they were in peaceful silent contented atmosphere and he felt like he was the only one burning with anger and jealousy. He felt so left out..

And the day before his birthday party, they were all decorating together. Catarina, Ragnor and Rapheal would come in as to help with the decoration as well and hang out the whole day. Syfia made extra foods for them all so they could enjoy altogether until the late evening. Soon after, the doorbell rang and Magnus rushed to greet happily.

“Heyyyy.” Catarina smiled, coming in first, followed the two grumpy looking boys, Ragor and Rapheal. Magnus chuckled, letting them in.

“Hi, Mrs.Syfia. How are you doing?” She greeted the woman waiting for them with a smile and Syfia greeted the sweet girl with a hug.

“Hi, Catarina, My sweet girl. Thank you for coming to help! I am fine. How are you doing?”

“I am good, Mrs. Syfia. And who might you be, Handsome?” She greeted the boy sitting beside Syfia cheerfully and the boy just shrank away behind his guardian. Ragnor rolled his eyes at Catarina’s greeting.

“This is Alec. He’s a little shy.. Alec, honey.. This is Cat, Ragnor and Rapheal. Magnus’s best friends!!!” Syfia introduced him to Magnus’s friends. Alec looked a little wary- he blinked and gulped, scared if his friends would be mean to him and dislike him like Magnus did. He muttered out a shy _Hello_ and Catarina awwed, excitedly shouting that she liked him.

“Oh my god, he is so cute!!!” She shouted happily.

“Right?!” Syfia rejoiced and both of the women giggled to each other while the rest of the men rolled their eyes, especially Magnus.

“Our youngest family member..” Syfia added fondly and Catarina nodded, stroking his cheek gently.

“Hi, I am Ragnor. And this is Rapheal. ” This heavily English accented boy kneeled down beside him, introducing himself and the boy beside him nicely that Alec sighed in relief silently, coming out of Syfia’s back a little more to greet the three strangers looking at him.

“Al-Alec.. I am Alec.”

“And how old would you be?” Catarina asked, smiling as to encourage him.

“Ten- I- I think…” He replied and they just took it was nice enough.

“You didn’t tell me you have a new younger brother, Magnus.” Catarina yelled out and Magnus fumed in anger.

“Because I DON’T!!! I don’t have a new family member! There is nothing to tell you.” He yelled out angrily and Catarina’s mouth hanged open, shocked by his friend’s behavior.

“MAGNUS!!!” Syfia yelled out, grabbing Alec so he wouldn’t feel so hurt.

“Sorry.” Catarina muttered out, just to let it go but Ragnor glared at Magnus and he just snorted, pretending that he didn’t see anything.

***

After some cleaning and arranging the tables, making some glittery balloons and hanging the decorations in place, most of them slumped on the sofa tiredly. It was time to rest so the boys were pretty much tired from doing all the hardworks like lifting tables. Alec was having so much fun, making balloons and hanging the decorative ornaments on the wall. Catarina handed him the last piece and he hanged it on the wall where she pointed out. He grinned as Catarina told him it was all and to come down.

“Oh my, you have a lovely necklace.” She chirped. “Can I see it?” Catarina saw the necklace perking up from his shirt as he climbed down the stairs.

Alec gulped but he took out his necklace and showed it to her. “Thanks.. It is mine.. I don’t remember but it was the only thing I remember it was mine.”

“It is so pretty.. very exquisite. ” She put it back on his neck again. “I am sure it is one of a kind. Thank you for showing it to me.” Alec smiled, pleased with her nice words. Catarina held his hand walking back to the boys, and he only rushed out when he saw Syfia waiting for him with a smile. He hugged her waist tightly and the mom beamed, giggling and stroking his hair fondly.

“Your mom seems to love the boy a lot.” Rapheal commented and it made Magnus groaned.

“Tell me about it. I have been so annoyed in this last six months. He doesn’t seem to be going away.” He glared at his mom who glared back at him before she returned her gaze back to Catarina and Alec with a smile. She brought them to the cookies she just cooled down and both of them picked up a piece each happily.

***

At the actual day of the party, both Magnus and Syfia went to cemetery first in the morning. Alec let her dressed him in all black silently, tagging along beside. They both placed the flowers beside the two graves and it was a delight having Alec staying beside her all the time, being silent but his little fingers gripping on her black coat’s sleeve tightly.

“Hello, my dears. It has been six years. Never a day passed by that we didn’t think of you.” She gently wiped away the tears welling up in her eyes. “The days were sad and lonely without you but this year, I found a little angel and he has been accompanying me ever since. So you should rest well.” She glanced down at the little boy staring back at her with his wide hazel eyes and he gently grabbed her hand to hold it. Syfia smiled and returned the grip. “Such a good boy he is.”

When it was time to go back, Alec took out the small flowers in his coat’s pocket and plucked out half in front of Asmodeus’s grave and the other at little Rolam’s grave. “Don’t worry. I will protect Pretty lady. I won’t let her be sad.” He promised and ran back to where Syfia was waiting. Magnus refused to go back together and asked them to wait for him so they waited in the car together. Alec hugged her tightly and Syfia blinked away all the tears, grateful that she had the little boy as her child now.

“Guess what? Mom decided to adopt a little child she found in the street, Dad..” Magnus whispered sadly, feeling small about thinking of Alec. “And she was getting happier.. I am so scared that child will replace us all, Dad. I am scared.. She is already loving that child.. the child she just met six months ago… And I felt so left out.. and exterior.. I hate this. I hate that child.” He sobbed, kneeling in front of the grave.

“Tell me what I am supposed to do, Dad. Should I just accept him? Accept him like one of my little brothers and be a nice big brother? No. No. it hurts too much..”

“I know I have been treating him badly and unfairly but he stayed… with his eyes wide and scared of me… I hated that too…”

_“What should I do? Just what should I do…?”_

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for reading. <3 <3  
> Hint: : Some angst at the party scene.. some more angst and angst after that too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Magnus Bane's Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note that  
> Magnus and the trio(Rapheal, Ragnor and Catarina are all 16.  
> Camille is 18  
> and Alec is 10 and a half now. :D

***

 

At the evening of the party was dynamic. Loud DJ music and the flickering lights everywhere made the party pop, not to mention with the spectacular drink bar and the food stall. Colourful tasty mocktails and tropical juices, the colourful delicious party snacks complimented his party more and it would be the talk of the school for weeks. And there was his girlfriend for 3 years, the queen of the Brooklyn Highschool attended together with Magnus and everyone was eyeing him with jealousy (at his looks, his wealth or his girlfriend.. let them be jealous more.) Magnus had been enjoying the party more, compared to the morning earlier and since he found his popular kids coming by and quickly ditched his mom and Alec… and his best friends… Syfia sighed and continued to talk with Catarina as the boys munched on some snacks.

“Hey, I am glad you could make it.” Magnus kissed on the cheek of his girlfriend and Camille smiled as she looked around the garden.

“Wouldn’t miss your birthday for anything, My love.”

“Aww, that’s why you are the best, Camille.” He smiled and took her to the sofa seats so they could be lovey-dovey together. Magnus took a glass of Strawberry cocktail (It was her favourite, that was why he added it in menu, of course.) for her and she sat down, taking the glass with an appreciated smile.

“So where is the street boy you talked about? I have been so excited to see him.” She grinned and his lips twitched in horror.

“Oh god, don’t even start, Camille. He is giving me headaches than he already is.”

“You don’t like him..?”

“No. I don’t like him. That boy is a nightmare.” He rolled his eyes in grimace and she giggled, letting her pretty pearly teeth peeked over her beautiful red lipstick. Camille was really beautiful and elegant. She didn’t let anyone come up to her and hadn’t dated anyone until Magnus came along. He swooned over her and she let him in, they had been together ever since.

“Some day, I will help you show him a lesson.” She promised and Magnus laughed.

“Yeah, that’s my girlfriend.”

***

Syfia could clearly notice Alec wasn’t so comfortable with the loud music and flashing lights in the garden so she let him stay indoor with her, eating the snacks together in the dining room. She accompanied with him and Catarina, Rapheal and Ragnor were kind enough to play with him for sometimes. Then, Magnus came back rushing and reported that the snacks were running out and need for a refill. So was the juice bar so he ordered a new delivery and he needed her to tend to it. She filled the snack bowls and asked them to take them to the food stall while she paid the delivery guy. Alec wanted to help so Catarina let him hold a light bowl of chips.

Alec nervously came out of the house and walked to the stall. The flickering lights and the music were already affecting him and he wanted to run back to the house as soon as he could. He placed the bowl he was carrying carefully and turned his body to head back while he was stopped by a pretty girl.

“Heyyyy, so you must be the Alec I heard so much about.”

Alec frowned but the girl gripped on his shoulder hardly.

“I am…”

“Oh, that is a nice necklace. It looked expensive. Can I see it?” She asked rather too sweetly and he wavered, wanting not to hand it over to the scary girl. But she was a friend of Magnus and he didn’t want to upset him so he dropped it to her hand. And moreover, he showed it to his friends yesterday and they were nice so she could be nice too.

“Yup. That definitely looks expensive. Did you steal it from someone?” Alec was flushed and his face turned beet-red and he attempted to get it back.

“NO! No, I didn’t. It is mine. Please give it back.” He whined when she put the necklace higher. He attempted to jump but he wasn’t just tall enough yet for the 18years old girl.

“So I heard you have been giving troubles for my boyfriend. I told him I will give you a lesson so…” she smirked and to Alec’s terror, she threw it to their swimming pool in the garden. Alec screamed and followed it, causing himself to fall to the swimming pool. Camille laughed and other people yelled joyfully as a celebration. They thought one of them had jumped into the pool and some of the highschool boys joined into the pool as well.

“What happened?! I said no swimming, guys.” Magnus came up, his hands on his waist as he looked down the water.

“I thought someone jumped in so why not.” Elias grinned and Magnus rolled his eyes.

“Haha.. not funny. So who is the idiot who jumped in?” Magnus asked and the rest of the party looked at each other.

“It was Alec.” Camille grinned.

“Alec?”

He fell.” She replied sipping her cocktail, much oblivious to her surrounding.

“ALEC?” Magnus screamed, searching around in the pool. It meant he hadn’t re-surfaced yet and Magnus couldn’t swim that it was making him nervous. He heard another one jumping in with Rapheal holding on Ragnor’s coat. It took only a few seconds for Ragnor to find him and they re-surfaced together, holding on almost unconscious Alec.

Rapheal pulled Alec to the ground and patted his cheek gently. Alec’s eyes shot up open and he started coughing really hardly. Catarina patted his back to sooth him.

“What the hell. You are causing problems in my birthday party.” Magnus yelled out in anger.

Alec looked saddened but he was glaring back for the first time. He pointed behind Magnus’s back.. “She threw away my necklace into the pool.”

“What the hell is going on here?” There was an angry voice of a woman and everyone kinda made way for her. Syfia walked up to Alec hurriedly.

“Alec, oh my god.. what happened, sweetie?”

“I- I slipped and fell…” Alec’s small voice was heartbreaking since he lost his necklace and also fell into the pool, making a laughing mess out of him. The trio stared at him since he put the blames on himself and didn’t add in the reason why.

“Oh sweetie, let’s get you warm up. You too, Ragnor. Come inside. Thank you for saving him. I will let you wear some Magnus’s clothes” She grabbed his hand gently and he got up, following her silently, completely drenched. His trio best friends glared at him before they followed them. Magnus stared at his back and couldn’t help but feel bad.

***

At the night, Magnus couldn’t have fun even if he tried to distract himself after the incident. The glare his best friends gave and the sad look the boy had when he turned his head to the swimming pool with his shoulder sagged. They were all pretty much full from the party snacks so they didn’t bother the dinner anymore and decided to sleep after it as it was a tiring day for them. His mother stayed with Alec to check up with him though. Alec was a good kid so he didn’t throw a fit but he was really sad and Syfia thought it was because he fell down in the pool. But Magnus knew, Camille knew, the trio knew and of course, Alec knew best.

It left Magnus with so many thought and he crawled on his bed tiredly, just washed up and free of makeup. Just when he fell asleep(or so he thought), his mother knocked on the door hurriedly and woke him up.

“What, Mom?” Magnus opened the door tiredly as he rubbed his eyes sleepily. It looked at the clock on the wall and it said it was 1 in the morning.

“Alec is having a high fever, sweetie. I just called our doctor. I need you to help me.”

Magnus grabbed on his night robe hurriedly and walked to Alec’s room. “What happened?”

“He had a nightmares so he knocked on my door and I found out he was having a fever but it became higher.”

Magnus saw Alec on his bed and he felt instantly guilty for yelling at him just after he was pulled out from the pool. For once, he helped his mother and Alec to get better. Alec wasn’t awake and he mumbled some words unconsciously by the time the doctor came. He was given some injections, a lot of medicine by the doctor and he promised he would check him again by the evening and if the kid hadn’t gotten any better, they would need to take him to the hospital. They finally slumped on the couches in the living room after the doctor had left.

“104 is quite high..” Magnus commented.

“It is high. It is dangerous.” Syfia sighed. “Now we just have to wait and see. Magnus, Sweetie, you can go sleep now if you want to.”

Magnus shook his head and walked up to the upstairs again for Alec. He tucked him in gently and changed the wet towel on his forehead with a fresh one. Syfia smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder gently, leaning in to watch her two sons.

“Magnus.. You know.. you are big brother material, sweetie.. You can be a nice brother to him.”

Magnus chuckled and shook his head. “The only time I am being nice to him is because he won’t remember when he gets better.”

Syfia rolled her eyes. _This stupid stubborn eldest son of hers…._

_***_

Magnus and Syfia had some rest since they decided to take turn watching him. Magnus went and slept first until 8am in the morning and when he woke up, Alec was already up and fed some porridge by his mom, fever still ongoing and shivering. He sighed and told his mother to go to sleep since he was up anyway.

He walked into Alec’s room and Alec looked at him, his little face red with fever and a small hint of sadness and scare shown on his face. He fidgeted, grabbing on his comforter blanket and his stuffed dog tightly as Magnus came nearby. Magnus placed his hand over his forehead without saying anything and Alec shivered since his body was too hot and Magnus’s hand was just too cold(compared to his hot body now).

“Hmm.. the fever hasn’t dropped. You gonna get injection again.” Magnus hummed, leaning lazily to the couch nearby. Alec whined and he continued. “Or worse, You are going to the hospital.”

Alec gripped on his stuffed dog tightly and he couldn’t help but cry now. He had already caused enough problems for Syfia and he was already upset enough since last night. Now he felt cold, his whole body hurt, his head ached and his nose was stuffed yet there was no good news.

“Hey.. Hey.. Shhh.. don’t cry. If you don’t cry, I will give you something.” He bribed.

Alec shook his head and hid his head into the stuffed dog, his body shaking uncontrollably as he couldn’t stop crying and he  curled up into a ball in the blanket.

“Stop crying.. I told you I will give you something.” Magnus tried to uncurl his little fist and placed something in it.

***

**_Last night during the party after Alec had left-_ **

“What the hell, Camille.” Magnus yelled at her angrily. “You took his necklace and threw away?”

“Didn’t I promise you I will teach him some lesson?” She grinned and Magnus tsked.

“No, you only made it worse. Now Mom gonna be all over him since he lost the only thing he owned.”

“Whatever, Magnus. Here… Your stupid necklace. It doesn’t worth hearing you yelling at me.” She fumed and placed something cold in his hand. It was Alec’s necklace. Camille didn’t actually throw it but pretended so Alec would be devastated and it worked. Magnus laughed.

“Damn.. You are the real deal, Camille.” He kissed her on the lips, she smirked and kissed back.

***

**_At presence,_ **

Alec’s sobs stopped and he stared at his palm. There was his necklace alright, silvery and glistening under the electric light. His eyes began to shine brightly and he looked at in awe, very surprised at the gift.

“I know you were so upset because you lost the necklace so….”

“You went into the pool to search for me?” The boy cut in happily and he rolled his eyes.

“Yea yea.. whatever.. if it makes you happy.” Magnus replied uninterested, agreeing to whatever. _If he was going to think of him as a hero, why the hell not?_

“Thank you! Thank you. Thank you.” Alec yelled happily and pounced on him from the bed to hug his waist. Magnus was surprised but he patted his back gently.

“No hugging, buddy. You gotta catch me your fever.”

“Sorry..” Alec mumbled and broke apart but he wore his necklace happily. “Thank you so much.”

“Whatever..” he groaned. _Being nice is bad…and he shouldn’t._  

“Now it is the time you sleep and let me watch my tv.”

“Aren’t you here to watch me?”

 _You cheeky kid…_ “NO.”

“Can I watch the little mermaid?”

“NO.”

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. <3  
> Leave some comments so we can have a little chat. :D <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dears! I am so sorry if I take long. I will update as soon as possible like weekly. :D   
> And this chapter is where the more angst starts and Magnus is still a little mean to Alec but not anymore.. :')  
> God save my soul.
> 
> This chapters contains possible panic attacks and car accident.   
> Please refrain from reading if they would trigger you. :  
> Again, thank you for reading and tell me your thoughts below. <3 
> 
> ***

***

 

The fever didn’t go down that evening so Alec had to get another injection and take a lot of medicines. He couldn’t get up from bed for a few days so Syfia and Magnus waited him in turns. Rapheal, Ragnor and Catarina even visited him with foods one day and Alec but happy. Catarina was so kind and talkative that Alec didn’t have to talk and he shyly listened what she had been talking. Ragnor was grumpy but he knew he liked him- he brought some cartoons and watched together with him. He liked Rapheal too. That pale older boy was grumpy but not as much as Ragnor and he was kind to him plus Alec felt comfortable with him even when they sat in silence. Syfia had been the kindest - so sweet and caring. She read him stories while he was bed-ridden and she was there to hold him when he had nightmares at nights. Alec was extra cranky when he was sick. He woke up with a scream one day and Syfia was there to hold him and comfort him. He cried on her shoulder and hugged her tightly.

“It is okay, Baby.. Don’t cry. You are safe. I am here.” She held him gently and rubbed his back to comfort him. Alec hugged her tightly back, drenched in sweat with the fever.

“Mom.. Mom.. please, don’t leave me. I am scared.”

“I am here, baby..” She swallowed a lump in her throat and rubbed his back gently. Alec was still holding onto her. It was the first time he had called her _Mom_ …

“Alec.. Alec.. I want to hear what you just called me now. Can you call me again. Sweetie?”

Alec looked into her eyes and looked away shyly, his hand still holding onto her blouse. “Mom..” he whispered. “Can I call you mom, please? I- I have been wanting to.. but- but I was scared you might get angry…”

“Yes, yes.. you can, sweetheart. I would love to be your mom. It is what I am. Oh god, I have the sweetest child here.” She giggled and kissed onhis forehead. Alec grinned innocently and hugged her tightly. She hugged him tightly back.

“Thank you for taking care of me, mom…” he whispered softly and Syfia just smiled as she rubbed his hair gently.

Magnus who had immediately rushed to Alec’s room since he heard his screaming as well- had been staring at them from the door for the whole time though.…….

***

Since Syfia had found out Alec liked the stories she read to him, 8:30 after dinner had become a story time for Syfia and him. She read him stories and Alec liked them so much that he became obsessed with them. There, she decided that she would teach Alec to read and write again to enjoy books. She started teaching him how to read again and Alec was enthusiastic, happy to learn that they took 2hrs of learning together during the afternoon when Magnus went to his school. Soon, she had arranged a private teacher specialized in homeschooling for him. `

Ever since just after Alec had recovered from the fever, Magnus hadn’t been talking to him at all. Alec wanted to talk to him, thanking him for his necklace and taking care of him but Magnus just hummed in his words, looking completely uninterested that made Alec’s shoulders sagged. Alec was sad but then, he had his mom and the nice friends of Magnus so he decided to give Magnus his space and tried not to bother him. Alec continued to help mom- Syfia with all the houseworks together and Syfia helped in his studies as well. The relationship with Magnus was just on and off. Magnus ignored him, he stopped talking to Magnus. Rapheal, Catarina and Ragnor were nice to him. He couldn’t understand why Magnus hated him so much. _Everything changed when a serie of unfortunate events happened to their lives. Bad luck always comes with a roll, like a tide, doesn’t it?_

***

It was when Alec was 16, Magnus was 22. Alec grew up to be a shy and quiet kid, relatively tall for his age. His skin was very fair, almost pale, his raven black hair messy and sticking out everywhere but his wide hazel eyes full of innocence and warmth. He was very helpful to Syfia as he pretty much helped a lot of her works now. Alec was homeschooled and he was smart so he took the highschool examination a few months ago and now he was waiting for the result. Magnus became tall, handsome and sexy with his light-caramel sweet skin and his on-fleek makeup. The relationship between Camille and Magnus was on and off. They broke up- Magnus dated some(a lot of) other people during the time/ messing his life around with other guys and girls., he broke up with them... He got back together with Camille again- then they broke up and the circle repeated again.  Magnus had just completed his University with Fashion design major and he was just searching for employment but he was taking his time.

Alec just went outside of the house to take out the trash one evening and found Magnus quarrelling with a blonde man of his age. They were yelling loudly and Alec thought they would fight anytime soon that he got closer to them in case he needed to help Magnus. That guy angrily shoved him to pavement. Magnus was stricken and he looked so shocked that Alec couldn’t help but worried so he hurriedly came out and stood by Magnus to help him stand. Seeing another person appeared, the guy swore and hurriedly drove off, leaving Magnus to Alec.

“Are you okay?” Alec hurriedly helped him, with his eyes showing worries and concerns for Magnus. Magnus just stared at them before he shook off Alec’s hands on his arm as he got up by himself.

“Don’t touch me.” He said, as he walked into the house, pissed. Alec just stood there and stared at his back, wondering if he was okay.

***

“Where is Magnus?” Syfia asked Alec as she placed the pasta bowl for dinner onto the table.

“Um- uh.. He is upstairs.. but I think he is having a rough day.” Alec shrugged his shoulders with a frown. “He fought with a guy I don’t know.”

She sighed. “Probably one of his flings..” She rolled her eyes. “I wish he’d stop and be serious. Actually, he is serious.. too serious that he is trying to fool himself.”

“Can you go ask him to come downstairs for dinner after we finish eating, Sweety?”

“Yes. But what if he didn’t reply, mom?”

“Then, you can just go in his room to check if he is alright.”

Alec nodded and Syfia gestured him to take a seat. She placed a plate of pasta for him and she ate together with him, talking about her day and Alec’s.

Alec couldn’t stand the thought of Magnus starving upstairs so after his dinner, he knocked on Magnus’s door to ask if he was alright and about the dinner. There was no reply even after some times of knocking so Alec opened the door and it wasn’t locked. Magnus was sleeping on his bed, curled up in his blanket and Alec could see the dry tearline on his face. He was probably crying himself to sleep after this another terrible breakup? Alec looked at his very good-looking adoptive brother as if he forgot to breathe. Magnus’s expressions were soften when he was asleep and as he stared for a few seconds, he saw fresh tears rolling on Magnus’s cheeks as he sadly sniffled in sleep. Alec couldn’t help it but he knelt down, gently wiping them away with his knuckle of his finger. Magnus nuzzled into his touch like a cat and Alec’s heart swelled, melting into him. But Magnus’s eyes were shocked open, resulting Alec to be pushed to the floor as he sat up.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” He shouted and Alec backed away a few steps and hurriedly got up from the floor.

“Mom- Mom told me to check if you are alright..” Alec replied, swallowing the saliva wide eyed.

“GET OUT. GET OUT OF MY ROOM.” He raged and Alec ran to the door, shutting it fast as angry and sad tears fell onto his face. Magnus had been so angry at him but he had never been this angry before. Alec ran into his room and curled up on bed as he sobbed into his pillow. All the time, he had wanted to be on good terms with Magnus. He liked him and he wanted him to be nice but Magnus hated him all the times. He was almost panicking and he threw the blanket over his shoulder and tried to calm down himself under it, starting with the breathings. Soon enough, Alec had control of his breaths but he curled up in his safe nest a little longer.

After some times in the dark in his room, Alec heard footsteps outside of the room and he walked to the window to see Magnus walking outside of the house. Magnus was all dressed up well and he was walking to the club ten streets across to drink away his pain.

***

Magnus had a couple of drinks first and he started feeling cheerful enough that he started by talking with the people he had eyed on. He talked and drank together with companions he just made earlier this night, losing count of how many drinks he’d had. He looked up from flirting with a girl, only to see his ex glaring across the dance floor with his friends and he just smirked, holding his drink out to him as an imaginary toss. It was the club they usually used to date during their 3 months period and Magnus felt suffocated in the unhealthy relationship so he broke him up, as the other party became too controlling and overly jealous. The drinking had finally stopped when he started feeling bad and he almost had a fight in the club as he flirted with a  girl who he didn’t know had a boyfriend in the club. Magnus walked back staggering, wishing he was not so alone right now.   

Magnus stopped by near a drain to throw up and it was awful but he started feeling better. Just when he turned around for the road, he felt a punch on his face unexpectedly and fell onto the group by the force.

“Hello, love.” He heard a rough familiar voice and looked up to see Michael grinning up on him. He had four other friends surrounding Magnus and he just gulped as he didn’t bother getting up yet. “You think you can dump me this easily? Huh?”

“It is over, Michael. We are done. Now let me pass.” Magnus said, getting up from the ground but he felt another punch and fell back again. Magnus got up immediately this time, punched him back again and the whole group joined in fighting with him. He kicked and punched them, they got pretty hurt but they were stubborn cornering again. Two of them fall down, unmoving already by his punches and kicks but Michael took out his pocket knife and Magnus stared at the shiny blade of it. The shiny silver blade of it glistened under the streetlights and Magnus crossed his hands over his face to protect it in the blink of the time, totally think it was over since he was pretty much drunk and couldn’t move so well.

It was when somebody came yelling to stop in the middle between them and waving a wood stick so quickly in a swoosh sound. He was facing his back to Magnus as Magnus understood he was protecting him. Magnus and the rest froze in place until the person started again just after.

“I called the police. They are on the way now. Run, if you don’t want any trouble.”

Michael and the other guy picked up their two knocked-out friends and fled hurriedly. Only after the attackers had gone out of the sights, the boy dropped his wood stick to the ground. His hands were slightly trembled as Magnus could see.

“What are you doing here, Alec?”

Alec gulped and turned his body to face Magnus with a slight small greeting smile on his face. “I- um.. checking if you were alright..”

Magnus hummed in the cold weather. Alec hurriedly added.

“I saw you went out so I was worried..”

Magnus nodded as he walked towards where their home is. Alec hurriedly followed behind him. He was grateful that he found someone standing up for him. Alec had saved him. And he should say something to him. He saw the glints of Alec’s tears when he yelled at him to leave. Magnus stopped his steps to face Alec. Alec was just behind, staring at him with his big innocent hazel eyes again searching why he had suddenly stopped. Magnus gently brushed his fingers on Alec’s cheek. Alec’s cheek was cold and red from the winter breeze of the night. His thumb gently ran along the soft cheek of him, and for the first time for Alec, Magnus was smiling softly.

“Thank you for saving me, Alec. Also for making sure I am alright. I am sorry I yelled at you. It wasn’t a good time and I was angry.

Alec was surprised with his mouth hanged opened and he stared at him for a good few seconds before he shook his head happily. Alec’s eyes were slight puffy from crying and Magnus chuckled as to see how pleased Alec was just by the words.

“It is okay. I am glad you are safe.” Alec smiled genuinely and Magnus thought of how good-looking Alec had become during the years.

“Let’s go back.” He said- the two of them peacefully walking under the sweet moonlight.

***

Syfia had noticed Magnus was much softer to Alec and she had been so pleased about it. Magnus would give small smiles to Alec and she took it as he was actually making effort with him to be nice, on the way of learning to trust him. Alec felt happy whenever he had some brief attention of Magnus but Magnus was still tensed around him. It was okay, he wasn’t mean to him and he didn’t hate him anymore. Magnus had been nice, staying in the home more with books, movies and not wasting himself with any flings and night-outs anymore.

Two weeks after the drunken incident, Syfia walked up to Magnus who was reading a book after their lunch together. Alec was napping upstairs in his room by that time.

 “Sweetheart, you have been nice to Alec.” She smiled.

Magnus nodded. “He is nice. He saved me from a group fight.”

“I told you he is such a good kid, Magnus. I am so glad you see what I see in him now.” She ruffled his hair much to his protests and giggled. “Tomorrow, his results of highschool exam will be out and we will support him whatever his results are. We will go out to eat tomorrow. Promise you will be nice to him whatever the results are?”

Magnus nodded. “Alright, Mom. We will see what the results are tomorrow.”

Turned out Alec had passed the examination with high distinctions. Syfia hugged happy Alec tightly, yelling him that she was so proud of him and Magnus joined in, making Alec sobbed harder than he already was. Magnus chuckled, called him silly and helped him wiped away his tears.

***

Their day had been fun after the great exam result as they went out for food and shopping the whole day. They had pizza and a big chocolate sundae each. They went shopping and it wasn’t of much interest for Alec but he didn’t complain. Magnus bought a drawing set consisting of a drawing book, crayons and some water colours for Alec as a gift to congratulate his highschool graduation but he didn’t mention since he planned to give him at night. When they walked down for another shopping mall across, he and Alec were carrying a lot of bags and it slowed them down as Syfia walked across the road. The road crossing had always made Magnus nervous, especially when it reminded of him the possibility of car- he shook away the bad thoughts in his head. It wouldn’t be happening.

Syfia was crossing the road on the pedestrian green light but there was a car running to them at full force as the brake seemed to be broken. Magnus froze as his world was turned over and his visions turned blurred. His feet were glued on the spot with sweat and he screamed internally to his mom to run. Syfia was also seemed to be startled, staring at the car unable to move.

A shadow just passed by him swiftly like an arrow and Alec was already there, beside of Syfia. He yelled and pushed her off from the path of the car coming and it was just in time she fell on the other side of the road. The car hit Alec and his body flew upward, hitting the concrete pavement as it fell back. Alec didn’t move and both Syfia and Magnus rushed to his side yelling. The car stopped after it hit the waterhose on the street.   

“Alec!! Oh my baby.. Alec!!!”

“Alec, wake up. Alec, please..” Both of them screamed his name but Alec was unmoving, his eyes closed unconscious and covered in blood. Magnus was so scared of losing him now. They didn’t dare to touch the youngest as if they might hurt him even more. Then, they heard a middle-aged woman just around the age of Syfia Bane pushing her way through the crowd.

“I am a doctor. Let me see.” She knelt down beside Alec and checked his vitals and his wounds. “Dial xxx. It is the nearest hospital. I work there.” She ordered Magnus and he hurriedly called the number, asking for the help with the location of where they were right now. He rushed beside Alec again, holding his hand as if the younger boy would drift away if he didn’t hold him on. He pleaded Alec to wake up and open his eyes but he didn’t. The woman checked his airways and by that time, Alec wasn’t breathing anymore so she started CPR on him. Magnus stared in shock, holding Alec’s hand as it was the only thing he could do for him. Soon, the ambulance came by and the woman asked the paramedic stuffs to be careful with him.

“Car accident. Serious head injury. Broken ribs. Move him carefully and strap him in place. Be careful lifting him. Don’t hurt the spine.”

The paramedic carefully took him, followed by Magnus and Syfia at the back of the ambulance. Syfia was crying and Magnus held her hand tightly to comfort her. He didn’t know he was crying as well.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading. let me know your thoughts(of what will happen to Alec). <33  
> Alec Lightwood is my son and I love him so much. OTL


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another updated for you guys!!! ♡  
> I am so much into Angst hell and it had just started. :')))
> 
> I am sorry for my typos, mistakes and possible triggers. I try to describe what was in my head but I am no Medical Expert so I apologize in advance if there are inaccuracies. Please do note it is just a fic in my head.  
> Nevertheless, I hope you will enjoy and like it.（*’∀’人）♥

***

 

Everything went chaos. Everything changed. Everything had gone bad. Alec didn’t wake up the whole trip to the hospital. His head was still bleeding heavily that a paramedic had to apply pressure with a clean towel to stop it. The doctor and the other paramedic had intubated him with an endotracheal tube to protect his airway and help his breathings artificially as his breathing had stopped earlier. His heart rates were so slow and weak and it had gotten everyone worried. Magnus held onto Alec’s hand tightly and prayed. Actually, both Syfia and he were praying with tear-filled eyes all the way. In no time, the ambulance had stopped at the entrance of the hospital and started wheeling Alec in.

“No, Sir! You can’t go in there! It is our hospital’s policy.” A nurse suddenly stopped Magnus and Syfia at the entrance of the Emergency Room. Magnus didn’t let go.

“No, No.. You can’t. We have to be there. He needs us!!!” Magnus argued, holding onto Alec’s hand in blood with both of his hands tightly.

“No. Magnus, Baby.. You need to let go of the stretcher. We have to let them save him. We have to save Alec first!!!” Syfia pulled him back but Magnus shook his head stubbornly, crying and not letting him go. He needed to be there with him. He was afraid Alec would leave them too if he let go. No, he couldn’t lose him. Not like this. Not when they had never had a decent moment together. He had hurt him all along, after all. The nurse argued and some more nurses reached by their side.

“Let go. You are killing him.” The doctor shouted not too loudly but her eyes shining bright and fierce. The situation was a chaos, and Alec’s heart monitors started beeping since his heart rates had dropped. Alec was crushing again and Magnus let go of the bed, shaken and scared. The nurses wheeled in Alec immediately into the ER, starting CPR again.     

Magnus fell onto the cold seats in front of ER room and he covered his face in his hands sobbing angrily. Syfia hugged her eldest son gently to comfort him. “Right now, we have to pray for Alec, sweetheart. It is all we can do for now.” She whispered and Magnus held onto her tightly, his head hiding on her shoulder. He had been so selfish, not caring about his mom. Not caring about Alec at all. Honestly, he didn’t know how she was coping up with the pain right now or how she was holding on. But his mother was strong. She knew she had to be strong for them. He prayed to God with all of his heart that Alec would come back to them. “Please be okay..Alec.” He muffled into her shoulder.

***

“He is crushing.”

“BP is dropping.”

“No chest sound from his right side. We need a chest tube.”

The ER is frantic with worry. A nurse has started blood transfusion for the pale boy on the table. A nurse kept squeezing the air bag regularly for breathing. There were two doctors and the previous doctor from the scene had asked the other one to start on chest tube. He nodded, cleaned the area thoroughly before he started a small incision. He inserted a chest tube and the trapped air from his lung had escaped making him easier to breathe. But Alec went into V-fib and the doctor had to start defibrillation on him.

“Start with 150.” She ordered and the nurse set it accordingly. “Alright, Everyone, stand back and clear.” She yelled as she placed the paddles on the crushing boy’s chest. The shock was delivered; the irregular heart rhythms remained unchanged so she started again.

“C’mon, kid. Don’t give up.” She whispered to him. It had been quite anxious six minutes since he had been in V-fib. “Change to 200. Okay? And everyone, get back again.” She shocked him again and finally, it had restored the normal heart rhythm.

“Got him.” The male doctor yelled in excitement and she smiled faintly.”

“Thank you, James. Now, I will trust you with the rest while I go explain to his guardian. And get an X-ray asap. He had some broken bones.”

She walked out, taking off the bloody plastic gown to meet with the worrying adoptive mother and elder brother of the boy.

“Hi, I am Maryse, Maryse Lightwood in charge of your son.” She shook Syfia’s hand and squeezed gently to comfort her.     

“How- how is he? Is he okay?”

“He had a cardiac arrest earlier. His heart went into V-fib for six minutes. We got it back and we are trying to stabilize his condition. I am here to inform you about that. Right now, I am waiting for his X-ray for the surgery. I need your consent approval for that.”

Syfia nodded, shaken and emotional but she knew it wasn’t the time for it and Maryse promised that she would try her best for him. Soon, the doctor left as she was called again and Syfia was crying so Magnus pulled her into his chest. She gripped on his shirt tightly and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He wasn’t okay. His throat was dry. He had the constant fear that Alec might leave them anytime. While waiting for him in front of the room, he recalled the moment earlier that he could have lost his mother, the only one he loved the most in his life. He was closer to his mom in distance compared to Alec but he thought of the accident that lost his happiness-then, he was struck, his legs didn’t move and Alec rushed by to rescue, sacrificing himself. He let out a sob and held onto the most treasured woman of his life.

“I am sorry, mom..” He sobbed holding her tightly. “I was there. I was nearer. I could have been able to save you, but I couldn’t move. I am so sorry.”

She shook her head sadly, holding onto her son. No, she didn’t blame him. She knew of Magnus’s trauma and condition. She would never blame him. She just wanted to get her youngest adoptive son back well and alive now.

***

It was found out that Alec’s spine was severely injured just after the X-Ray result. He had two broken ribs on his right chest, a fractured arm, fractured skull and damaged spine that they immediately started the surgery. Alec’s condition wasn’t so stable but the surgery had to carry out as soon as possible. At the midnight, the surgery was all over and they wheeled him into an isolated ICU room. Magnus and Syfia walked into the room just smelled of antiseptics to see Alec. Alec wasn’t awake, lying on the white hospital bed weakly and paled, with a lot of machines around him and supported by a ventilator through an ET tube down his throat. He was given a lot of IVs and Blood transfusion by the cannulas in his hands. He was fully on life support and there were vital monitors beeping around him which Magnus hated them. He also thought Alec would hate them the same as well.

Syfia hurriedly walked beside Alec and gently/carefully lifted one of his hands. She was holding it so softly and touched Alec’s hair falling onto his forehead so softly that it seemed like he was so fragile, made of glasses. She made a small whimpering sound that pleaded him to come back and it broke Magnus’s heart. She was gently combing his soft hair off from his forehead which had a large stitched wound now and holding Alec’s one less injured hand with her the other free one. Magnus walked over to her side and squeezed her shoulder. She looked up at him and smiled weakly.

“He will be okay. I know he will come back to us, Magnus.”

“I know, Mom. I know. He will definitely come back to us.”

 ***

Alec didn’t wake up the next day, or the day after… or even the day afterwards. He went into a coma from his head injury and all the doctors could say was to wait for now and give him time. Waiting for him to wake up was the agony and the time went so slowly when you waited for something. And there was the agony of the fear of losing him as well. During the time, Magnus had realized how important Alec was in he family. It was one of the hardest times for them. During his watches as he was alone in the room with Alec, he held on Alec’s hand so tenderly with care and whispered some kind words asking him to wake up. Alec was in intensive care for fifteen days before the doctor moved him to a private hospital room but still with his ventilator and most of the machines, monitors and IVdrips attached.

Doctor Maryse Lightwood had been the one to monitor Alec’s condition as he was moved. She checked the vital signs and also made sure if the machines were connected correctly and securely. She gently opened Alec’s eyes one time each and checked with her pocket flashlight for his reflexes. She turned to Syfia when she was satisfied with her tests.

“His condition is stable now, Mrs.Bane. Now we have to wait. He is waking up soon.”

“Oh, Call me Syfia please. We are so looking forward to him, waking up.” She smiled. “He is our precious.”

Maryse smiled. “Yea.. The children are our precious.”

“Tell me, Doctor. Do you have any children?”

“Yes, I have three. Izzy, Jace and Max. Jace is Fourteen, Izzy is Thirteen and Max is seven.” She smiled faintly. “My eldest child had passed away years ago.”

“I am so sorry.” Syfia replied in shocked, wide-eyed and the doctor shook her head gently, giving her a reassuring smile. Syfia added sadly. “I can understand you. I lost my little one in a car-accident. I can’t lose my other son again.”

“Please, don’t be. It is not your fault. And I am sorry for your loss too.” The strict looking doctor replied. “When I saw your child, I thought ‘Oh god, I have to save the kid.’ and it was a miracle.”

Syfia really understood what her words meant. She held Maryse’s hand gently and she put hers over Syfia’s hand back. “Trust me. Alec is a miracle. He will pass through it.”

***

_At the Maryse and Robert Lightwood bedroom in the Lightwood mansion,_

Robert woke up to his wife whimpers and cries. His wife was murmuring something in her sleep and he couldn’t bear to watch it so he gently shook her shoulder to wake her up.  

“Maryse..? _Shhh.. Shhhh.._ You are dreaming, honey. Wake up.” Then she woke up, blinking to realize she was just dreaming and nothing had changed as things were as they were now. She sat up, wiping away her tears and Robert turned on the night light.

“Are you alright?” He asked, rubbing her shoulder gently to comfort her and she wrapped around her arms on his shoulder, as her face leaning on it.

“I dreamt of our baby… and the day we lost him...” She lamented. “Just how I wish he would still be with us now. He would be so happy.. with his sister and brothers...”

“Oh, Maryse...” Robert sadly held her body, placing soft kisses on her shoulder. She closed her eyes and leaned on him.

“Did something happen today?” Robert asked when Maryse had calmed down after a while.

“I met a boy resembled of our child, Robert.” She replied rather enthusiastically or longingly, staring into the wall. “So alike. Our baby could be around his age… He even has the same name, Alec… Do- Do you think he is our-?!” She clinched on the blanket so tightly.

Robert shook his head.. “He can’t be.. This is impossible… Maryse- We- we.. saw him…...”

Maryse bit her lips as the tears rolled on her cheeks again. The Brooklyn Bridge... the bone-cracking coldness of the East River….. The memory was so painful and what Robert said was true so she shook her head and hid her face into her husband’s chest. Robert held her body warmly with a sigh.

***

Maryse had a discussion about the boy’s injuries, Dr.James Carstairs, Dr.Will Herondale and Dr.Tessa Grey. The surgery for his head and spine was performed immediately when he was brought in and they did the best they could have done but the recovery sign was not improved. His head injury was healing nicely and he could wake up anytime soon but his spinal cord was so severely damaged that the boy might lose the ability to walk. They went through all the scans and reports but still resulted in the same conclusion again that they left the meeting room heavy-hearted. Maryse was the one to inform the family in her office room that Alec’s head injury was healing nicely and his life was not in danger anymore but he might never walk again.

“I am so sorry about it, Syfia. His spine was critically damaged from the car crash which might lead to Paraplegia, partial paralysis from his waist down.”  
Syfia gasped and covered her mouth with both of her hands. Magnus gripped on his armrest of his chair hard until his knuckles turned white. His heart swelled up, but his mind was whispering inside of his head that _‘It was good enough that you got him back.’_

“I- I am saying there is a possibility. We will find out more when he wakes up. I am letting you know before he wakes up so we can confirm about it and you can be prepared.” Maryse smiled sadly to them.

“I am just glad he is alive. As long as he is alive, it is enough for me. It is God’s bless.” Syfia replied, her voice shaken with emotions.

Magnus took hold of Syfia’s hand in his and she grabbed it tenderly but determined.

“Can we not scare him with the news immediately when he wakes up? We can wait for him to get better and see if he was suffering paralysis. We can tell him when he gets better.”

“Of course, it is a good thought and no need to put on weights on his mind right now. We will still have to confirm.” Maryse replied, her eyes shone with sympathy as a mother.

Syfia nodded and walked over to Alec’s room back. She sat beside Alec’s bed and rubbed his cheek gently with her shaken hand. “Poor child…”

Magnus stood beside her silently. It was hard for all of them.

“I am sorry, Baby. I am so sorry..” His mom whispered to the pale unconscious boy and Magnus’s heart clinched so badly that it hurt.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> I am going straight to hell. :'D  
> Leave comments and let me know what you think about it. ♡♡♡


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec woke up and find his life in chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Hi, dears!!! Thank you for reading my fic. It was fun and enjoyable to write because you guys read them. <3 <3  
> here is another chapter and before you read, there are a few things I like to mention.
> 
> 1) Please don't mind my medical inaccuracies stuffs since I am no medical expert and I pretty much made them up+some knowledge from google. It happened in my head so I just wrote down whatever I feel like it. ^^;;;  
> 2) The chapter shows some glimpse of Alec's emotions so right now, he was feeling so vulnerable and pessimistic. If anyone suffers the same like my Alec, doesn't mean you should give up. I don't agree with that. Live on, enjoy and you will find some happiness worth living for in this world. :D <3  
> 3) Alec will get the happiness in the end. I promise a happy ending so even if the things may seem bleak here, as long as they hold on, they will be fine. <3 
> 
> Again, I am childish af so I hope you will forgive me if there are any mistakes and do give me your thoughts below. :')

***

 

The later waiting days were heavy, waiting impatiently for the youngest to wake up and to carefully choose what to tell Alec when he woke up. His breathing tube and most of the machines were cleared out as he had been confirmed out of danger. Syfia and Magnus still took turns waiting for him in the room, not to let him be alone when he woke up.

Two days later on a sunny day, as Magnus was reading a book just beside Alec’s bed, he looked up to check Alec and saw Alec beginning to wake up. He was trying to move his fingers and his eyelids flustered as he struggled to open them. “Alec?” Magnus rushed to his side, grabbing the pale hand to let the boy know that he was there, he was safe. Alec opened his eyes to his name, his hazel eyes unfocused and frowning since he wasn’t used to the light. He blinked a couple of times to get used to the light and tried to speak, resulting in a coughing fit. Magnus gently patted his chest to calm him down and pressed the button to call the doctor.

“Oh my god, welcome back, Alec.” Magnus greeted him, smiling. “Easy there. You had a breathing tube in your throat for some times.” Alec tried to think and he remembered of it. He remembered feeling the tube while he was sleeping off half awake and half sleeping earlier days. Then he remembered about their mom and hurriedly asked Magnus how Syfia was.

“Wh-what about mom? Is she okay? Is she safe?”

“She is okay. She is fine. Thanks to you, Alec. It is you we are worried about. What you did was heroic and I am really thankful that you saved her.” Magnus smiled and he squeezed his hand. Alec squeezed back softly with a soft smile but it was just merely a tug for him. Soon, the doctors came in and asked Magnus to leave the room as they checked on Alec. Magnus reassured Alec he would be back, taking the opportunity to call Syfia and informed her that he was awake. She rushed by immediately within less than half an hour.

“I am Dr.James Carstairs. Call me Jem. Do you remember your name?” A doctor introduced himself as he checked on his eyes.

“Alec...” He just replied, wanting the attention all the doctors were giving him to stop.

 “Okay, your head is fine. No extreme headache or loss of vision, right?”

“No, I can see alright.”

“Then, How are you feeling?” He asked. “Slight dizziness, mild headache and confusions are expected from your coma but they can be treated and you will be fine in a few day. Your head will be clearer soon too.”

“Weird..” Alec murmured. “I just feel weird.”

“It may be from the medicine we gave you. We will see a couple of days to see if your system will clear out the drugs soon.”

Alec nodded and he sank further into the soft pillow, his hand touching his head as he still had some headache. His head was definitely feeling dizziness and it had caused him to puke. A nurse quickly grabbed a vomit bucket and he puked mostly air and water as he didn’t have much in his stomach. He was all teary, sniffling from the vomit just earlier as a nurse cleaned up his mouth and he sank back into the bed when he saw Syfia and Magnus came in.

“No. No, don’t get up, kiddo.” She sat by his bed, gently grabbing his hand in his. He smiled happily, relaxed as he saw her well. “Alec, thank God you woke up. We are so worried about you?”

“Are you alright, mom?” he asked, trying to get up anyway to hug her. She helped him up and held him in her arms gently, closing her eyes to her youngest alive, awake and hugging her.

“I am fine, sweetheart. Thank you for saving me.” She replied, holding her tears and Alec shook his head on her shoulder as the gratitude was not necessary.

“I am glad you are safe, mom. I am so glad.” Alec replied with a smile  and Syfia planted a kiss on his forehead. He smiled fondly at that, pleased.

Syfia could feel he was getting tired so she helped him lay back on the bed again gently. Alec gripped on her hand softly as he let out a yawn. She ran her fingers along his soft hair and whispered him to take some rest and that she and Magnus would always beside him. Alec closed his eyes, falling to sleep silently very soon after.     

***

The next days when he woke up, his head was getting clearer and he felt more awake. Syfia was already there, waiting for him with a heartful breakfast-a chicken congee and some apple juice before the doctors’ round. She fed him since he was still weak and he blushed, opening his mouth shyly during every spoon of the congee and Syfia giggled, telling him that it was so adorable. Her heart was however still worried and heavy with the news of possible paralysis.

The doctor came a few hours later and checked on him. It was the doctor from yesterday again and he had a lot of tests for today later, compared to yesterday. After checking his head, eyes and body, it finally reached to his legs. Alec’s minds had been full with a lot of things that he didn’t realize much about himself- the main reason his head being a pain and confused. But when the doctor asked about his legs, he was starting to notice something.

“It feels weird. I- I can’t feel my legs.” Alec told the doctor and Syfia looked at Jem with such fright that what she had been told might be true. Jem’s face darkened for a split second but he just replied he had to run more test. He took out the blanket on Alec and started examining his legs. He started with a small hammer looking instrument and gave a gentle tap.

“Did you feel that?” Alec shook his head and he tried with another sharper end of it. “And how about that?” Alec shook his head again, getting nervous about it. Jem smiled and told him that it could be temporary or his legs just sleeping during his nearly 3weeks long stay. Alec looked at his mom anxiously but Syfia just smiled and held on his hand. He squeezed on it tightly back. Syfia kept him company and she brought him his IPad so he could watch something during the stay.

Jem’s report had be made to Dr.Maryse lightwood that she came by next morning to check on Alec. The patient boy she saw during the crash was getting up, talking happily to his mom and it made Maryse’s heart warmed and touched. She knocked gently on the door and both of them looked back. _So the boy had beautiful hazel eyes when he was awake._

“Hi, I am Dr.Maryse Lightwood. Head of the department.” She smiled entering as she greeted the patient and the mom.

“Alec, she is the one who saved your life after the accident. She was there and she rushed in to take care you.” Syfia added and the boys’ eyes lit up as he looked at the doctor. Strict looking, high ponytail but she gave off a strong but sweet and caring aura.

“Hi.” Alec smiled shyly. “Thank you so much for saving me.”

“It is my job, Kiddo.” Maryse replied, taking the chart board at the foot of his bed. “So I’ve heard you have had problems with your legs.  How do you feel?”

“I- I can’t feel anything from my legs…”

“Don’t worry so much yet, Alec. Let’s run some rest, shall we?”

Maryse folded the blanket at the foot of the bed to reveal his legs under it. The three of them stared at them breathless. They looked fine and well, except they looked a little pale and cannot be moved. The doctor asked him to wiggle his toes and he tried but he couldn’t. He tried to concentrate but it was all in vain. She touched his ankle, asking if he could feel them. Alec shook his head sadly, swallowing the lump in his throat. She moved along to his knees, squeezing if he could feel it and resulted in another headshake. She moved to his thighs and attempted again which wasn’t still in positive. She took out a small sharp instrument and poked it a few times along his thigh. He was sure he could have felt it but he didn’t feel anything if it weren’t his eyes seeing the doctor working on it. Maryse poked one of his hands beside the bed and Alec definitely felt it as he quickly moved his hand away from the doctor with an “Ow!” It wasn’t so bad but it scared him.

“Sorry, Alec. I had to make sure you caught it unexpected.” Maryse tried to comfort him, rubbing his arm gently and he just nodded, his face being small and his hand grabbing of his mom. “How about here?” Maryse touched his waist and he definitely felt it.

“I can feel that.” Alec spoke nervously and Maryse nodded.

“Well, that’s it for now. We need to run one more X-Ray later and see the result.” Maryse spoke and looked at him with her expression softened. She smiled encouragingly to Alec. “Don’t worry, Kid. You will be alright.”

Alec seriously hoped so but right now, he was too tired to worry more about it. Maryse’s hand reached to her white coat’s pocket, taking out a lollipop and handed it to the boy as an apology. Alec took it with a shy murmur of ‘thank you’. And he fell asleep, holding onto it.

***

“It’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna be fine.” Everyone encouraged him but Alec was afraid to believe. If it were going to be fine, why were his legs still dead? In the few days, Alec’s head was getting clearer and he became more awake, he could also stay awake longer. He was curious about his legs but no one could give him an exact answer. They told him they were waiting for the tests and results. Dr. Maryse came by a lot of times and Alec started to be comfortable around her. So was Jem, who told him to think of him as an older brother while he took care of him. He had been grateful for them. But there were a lot of doctors and nurses around him who he didn’t know. One day, when he woke up in the early morning, things changed and he wished he hadn’t woken up early in that evening.

Alec was supposed to be sleeping when a doctor and a nurse came by to check him and change his IVs at 6am in the morning. He was woken up by their presence and their talking to each other. However, he decided not to open his eyes and maybe try to sleep back but it was their words that shook him up.

“The test results just came back this morning. His back was so damaged that he won’t be able to walk anymore.”

“But aren’t Maryse and Jem searching for another treatment?”

“They pretty much know about this but they are trying so hard to save his legs.” The doctor replied, finishing up checking the vitals and changing his IVs. Alec’s heart was beating so hard and he tried to calm down, not being able to believe or cope up with what he had heard. He tried to remain his eyes closed until the people had left. He opened his eyes and tried to get up himself. He tried to move, but he couldn’t. Now that he heard his back was so damaged that he lost his feeling of his legs, everything made sense. He blinked a couple of times to keep away the tears welling up on him.

Magnus came into the hospital room, carrying a box of cakes. He looked up to see Alec awake already and greeted him but he wasn’t so responsive. Magnus frowned and put the box on the table as he got closer to the younger.

“Alec, what’s wrong? Is- is the pain? Are you hurting somewhere?”

“Is it true?” Alec cut him in and looked up at him, his eyes red, wide and looking sad.

“Is what true-.. Alec.. are you okay?”

“that I won’t be able to walk anymore…” Alec stared at him, pleading, almost asking him to tell the truth but also a part of him not wishing for it to be true or lie about it.... and Magnus was at a loss of words.

 “Alec.. I..”  Magnus tried to speak but Alec shook his head.

“Is it true?” Alec asked again and Magnus didn’t answer but he could read the sorrow from his face and Alec’s face paled.

“Did  you know that?” Alec asked again and Magnus couldn’t reply again. He kept feeling bad about it but he swallowed his saliva. Of course, they knew about the warning but it wasn’t so sure and they hoped Alec would not to be paralyzed so they didn’t tell him about it. Now everything seemed so bad and everything went downhill.

“Yes.” Magnus breathed the courage in. “But Alec.. believe me. It wasn’t so sure and we-“

Alec seemed like he had been betrayed and he looked so saddened that Magnus wanted to get close to him, to hold him tightly and tell him it was going to be okay-

“Please leave.” Alec spoke out.

“…Sorry?” Magnus tilted his head, unsure of what he had just heard.

“Leave. LEAVE. Please leave me alone!!!” Alec screamed and started to act violently due to anger and frustration. Tears fell onto his face fiercely and Alec was just so angry and felt betrayed that they kept everything from him. The more Magnus tried to calm him down, the angrier he’d became. He first threw the pillow on his back to the door and started thrashing around everything he saw, screaming. Alec started pulling out the needles and plugs on his body and Magnus tried to catch his hands.

“GET OUT. GET OUT. I SAID GET OUT.” Alec shouted at him, his eyes blinded by anger and tears for now. There were footsteps behind him and the medical stuffs as well as Syfia and Maryse came in.  Alec saw a syringe in Jem’s hand and it freaked him out more and refused anyone to get near him. But as soon as Syfia rushed by beside of Alec with her hands stretched out to him, Alec immediately let her hold him as he held tightly on her. He sobbed on her shoulder sadly and Syfia could just hold him tightly and rubbing his back gently to comfort him. Her heart was broken by the poor child’s sobs in her arms.

“Oh.. Alec.. I am so sorry...” Her voice was so cracked. Alec shook his head and continued to cry on her shoulder, hugging her tightly.

“Mom.. Mom.. I- I can’t walk anymore!!!”

“I know.. I know, sweetheart. I just talked with the doctor… I just heard from her.”

 “I can’t walk… I- I am crippled now…”

“Alec.. Sweety.. Look at me.” Syfia pulled his face, cupping his cheeks gently in her hands and smiled through the tears. Alec looked up, with his hazel eyes tired, red and saddened. “What had happened to you is because you saved my life. Do you regret it?”

Alec looked at her in shock, shaking his head hard to keep away that hurtful words get into his mind. “No. No. I don’t regret it, mom. I will never. I would do it again.. i-if I can.. But I can’t.. I am no help to you now.”

“Look at me, baby. I just need my son. You don’t need to help anything. I swear by the angel, you don’t even have to do anything. You coming back to us is already a blessing, sweetheart. I am glad, as long as you came back to us. I will take care of you. We will always be here for you, Son.” Syfia gently wiped away the tears on Alec. Alec leaned on her touch with a sniff. “I am so sorry, this happened to you.”

“I am so sorry..” Alec whimpered sadly. “I am so sorry for being like this… I am useless, mom. I am a burden, a liability again.”

“Don’t you dare to say it,Alec. You are the purest, the kindest child of mine, just like Magnus and Rolam. I love you just as much as any child of mine, Alec. Stop saying things like a burden. You were hurt because of me. I will take care of you.”

Alec sobbed harder, hiding his head in her embrace.

“I am sorry… I am so sorry.. I wanted to be helpful..”

Syfia gently rubbed his hair.

“Silly child, If you keep saying sorry, do you realize what it makes me feels? I took away one of my children’s legs. I am so sorry, Alec.. It happened because of me.”

“No, It is not your fault, mom! It is not. Please don’t think of that way. I am glad I could save you. I would do it again… I.. it is just… it hurts to think I will have to trouble you more than I already did.”

Syfia shook her head. “You have never troubled me, child.”

“I might.. I definitely will be..” Alec sadly whined.

“I like to see you try, Alec.” Both of them chuckled sadly in tears. Alec relaxed into Syfia’s comforts.

***

Looking at Syfia calming down Alec reminded Maryse of a gentle expression of a Parent’s love and it made Maryse tear up. The child throwing a fit was now sobbing quietly in his mother’s arm and the mother was gently patting his back to comfort him, whispering nothing but sweet words. The scene was touching and almost too sweet that she felt the jealousy over the adoptive mother. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked up to see Jem, his facial expression soft and sympathetic. She quickly wiped away her tears and smiled at him. Both of them turned to walk back to her office.

“Sometimes, we get affected all over from patient’s emotions. It was sad yet beautiful.. the portrayal of a mother to a child who just lost his legs..” Jem said quietly.

“I agree..” Maryse whispered softly. “A mother’s love is beautiful. And they both are very lucky..”

***

Magnus walked out of the room with heavy steps, shaken from the outburst Alec just had. It hurt so much.. It hurt that Alec was suffering.. It hurt that Alec lost his legs… It hurt that Alec told him to get out.. It hurt to think of Alec’s face full of hurt from betrayal. He fell onto the chairs outside of the hospital, dazed and tear-stained cheek. He covered his face blankly with his hands, also attempted to wipe away the tears on his own cheeks.. remembering the scene he had earlier when he tried to calm Alec down.

 _“GET OUT. GET OUT. I SAID GET OUT.” Alec shouted at him,_ _crying and his hand bloody with the needles he just pulled out._

 “So it was how it felt, huh…” Magnus whispered sadly to himself, when he told Alec to get out of the room angrily and left Alec crying as he ran away once. There were so much feeling stuffed in his chest that needed to get out. This couldn’t go on any longer. There was him, yelling at him.. Ignoring him.. and even tormenting him in any emotional ways in the past. He needed to make up with Alec and make sure Alec know he would take care of him. He had risked his life and saved the only and the most important person of his life. He trusted the boy brought into his home 6 years ago now and it was his turn to make Alec trust him. It would be hard for both of them but he hoped Alec would accept his care as to show his gratitude and apology.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Do drop your thoughts below and let me know. <3  
> See you in another chapter. ^^)/


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, dears! Here is another chapter of this fics.  
> This fic has become more to angst and depression compared to what I'd liked.(After all, "the characters won't do what I want them to!!!" :'D )  
> So do avoid this if it will give you depression triggers.  
> But I promise you even if the things are bad, if you hold on, there will be happiness. There are always a rainbow after a heavy rain. <3 <3  
> Again, I am no medical expert and I don't wish to offend Anyone, Anyone working in the medical field and anyone suffering this. You all are beautiful and I am so proud of you. I am sorry in advance if this offense you.  
> My Alec is like me, so depressive and pessimistic, after all. :'D <3
> 
> Excuse my typos and enjoy the fic. <3 <3  
> And I will see you in the next chapter. Do comment what you think of this chapter! <3

***

 

Alec had been a little dazed these days after the day that he found out he was paraplegic, paralyzed from waist down. He had been aware little of surrounding other than a few times the doctors, Syfia and Magnus came in and out of his hospital room. Whenever his mom and Magnus came around, he could just open his eyes to greet him and slipped back into somewhere floaty land he was in as some seductive eased him in and out of being awake. It made him angry and he had the need to scream out loud but he couldn’t do a thing. He was mostly asleep and was always tired whenever he was around or aware so he wondered if it was his punishment. He lost count of seconds, minutes, hours or days, in another words, he lost count of the time passed.

One time, when he was awake and aware enough and saw his mom sitting on his bed and cradling his hair gently, he couldn’t shake the emotions and excitement of finally being aware and awake. He caught up her hand and held onto it tightly as much as his strength would allow, asking her if they were angry at him that they kept making him asleep. Syfia’s eyes softened and pulled him out of his bed in sitting position to hug him.

“Silly child, we weren’t angry at you..” She swallowed the lump in her throat. Alec held onto her tightly with tears in his eyes and she gently rubbed his hair to comfort him. “We were worried that you might be in pain and unstable so they took you out for a while. It is over, baby. You will not need those meds anymore.”

Alec nodded slowly on her shoulder, remembering the fact that he was still paraplegic and couldn’t feel anything from his legs. That kept him bitter as the tears welling up in his eyes again and he leaned on her with his closed eyes. Syfia let him, giving comfort as much as her youngest would want.

A few moments later, Maryse came in, greeted him and checked him. It was awkward and he had heard the worst so he wasn’t so willing. He was also bitter with anyone for keeping him under earlier so he wasn’t so corporative much to the questions. Maryse knew. She smiled gently and continued with the tasks she had to do as if nothing bothered her and Alec hated about that.

When Maryse took Syfia for a talk to her office leaving him alone, Alec tried to move his legs, he tried to concentrate until his breathing became hastened and his nose flared up but only ending up in some painful throbbing of his back and his legs remained in place. He bit his lips hard in displeasure. Alec finally gave up for now and threw himself back to the bed, snorting at his failure. Then he heard a knock on the door and Magnus came in with swift movement but careful and slower compared to how he usually was.

“Hello.” Magnus smiled at him. “Heard you are awake today. How do you feel?”

“Hi.” Alec murmured back. “Good, that I finally get to stay sane and aware.” He rolled his eyes with such sass and Magnus didn’t say anything but smiled bluntly. He put the pastry box for Alec he was carrying on the table and sat beside the younger one with a book in his hand.

“I am here to watch you while mom is talking with Dr.Maryse. Is there anything you want to watch?” Magnus asked gently and Alec couldn’t find the usual sarcastic unfriendly tone at him and he wondered if it was pity. Alec shook his head. “I see. Then, I gonna read this.”

Magnus flipped some pages, his head bent into the book and Alec looked at him nervously, not sure of what to do or act since Magnus had the worst of his last outburst. Alec stared for sometimes but Magnus didn’t look up so he cleared his throat for attention, but Magnus just flipped through another page as he finished reading it.

“Magnus…” Finally, Alec whispered with a small voice.

“Hmm?” He finally looked up, meeting the hazel eyes on the bed.

“I am sorry…” He muttered shyly and apologetically. “I am sorry for the last time we talk... I- I was upset.. and I lashed out on you.. It wasn’t right. I am sorry.”

“Alec, I am sorry too.” Magnus finally smiled at him. “It is okay. You were angry. You have all the reason to.”

Alec shook his head. “No…” He softly whispered and lay back on his bed. “And I am sorry.. I am not so good at apologies.”

“Hmm.  Don’t think so. You are good at apologies, Alec.”

“Yeah?” Alec grinned and Magnus hummed as he peacefully continued reading the page and flipped through another page, suppressing the inner joy in his chest.

***

Two nurses came in when they were just getting comfortable with each other’s presence later, reminding them as it was Alec’s therapy time. Alec wanted Magnus to stay for anchor but a part of him wanted him gone so he wouldn’t see him embarrassed like that. They put a belt on his waist and transfer him from the bed to a wheelchair. Magnus was just there, silently watching him without any judgement but Alec wanted to cry. He bit his lips since the beginning they tried to tie the belt on and during the transfer to a wheelchair, he felt so embarrassed that tears filled up in his eyes and he blinked away, biting his lips. He was wheeled to a rehabilitation building. The nurses helped him with moving his legs and leg muscles but he felt so bad, so shy and embarrassed that he wanted to curl up into a ball and cry there until he could eventually get up by himself again. Alec was lying on a comfortable leather straight table and the nurses are helping him lifting his legs for him but he couldn’t feel a damn thing. He stared at the white ceiling blankly and thought if he could get up and walk, he could just run away from Syfia so he wouldn’t burden them anymore. But then, the thought was making him sad that the tears rolled on his eyes, down to his each temple. Alec sniffled and put one hand over his face to cover his eyes. The nurses stopped and came by beside to encourage him but it was hard to take in for Alec, especially now.

_“It is gonna be okay, Alec. Don’t give up.”_

_“Yeah, You got it! You got healthy muscles. Just give it some times during the time your spine recovers!”_

Alec hoped so. He seriously hoped so.

***

Alec’s face didn’t look good when he was wheeled into his hospital room back again so Magnus was quickly there to help him.  The two nurses maneuvered him back to his bed and Magnus tucked him in, putting blanket over him and making the pillow more comfortable. His mood was good earlier before the therapy but right now, Alec looked like he almost cried so Magnus couldn’t help but concern and he was there to help if the other pale boy needed any. Alec was lying down on the bed again, with his eyes closed and slightly breathing fast.

“Are you hungry now, Alec? It is already lunchtime.” Magnus spoke up to break the atmosphere. Alec just shook his head so he tried again.

“So what about some drinks? Juice? It will make you feel better.” Alec froze at that. He thought a little and Magnus knew what he was thinking. If the juice was sweet, it would take his mind off from being sad and even take away his tears. So Magnus took some grape juice in a cup, put a straw in and placed it near Alec’s lips. His lips slightly parted, sipping some grape juice. Magnus held the cup steady so he would have to worry about spilling. Alec calmed down a little and finally, looked at Magnus’s warm brown eyes. Magnus smiled him encouragingly with a pat on his shoulder.

“Magnus..”

“Hmm..?”

“Thank you.”

“I just simply get you a drink, Alec. No biggie.” Alec smiled at that, but he didn’t say anything anymore. He stared through the window and Magnus let him have his space.

***

Alec had been silent during the whole day, even when Syfia came back from the Doctors ward. Magnus saw his mother’s face was pale and anxious but she took a good few minutes in front of the room to prepare herself looking cheerful and warm as usual. She hugged both Magnus and Alec tightly in her arms before she prepared Alec for lunch. Alec hurriedly said he would be fine by his own to eat and she let him do it with a smile, preparing his lunch on a detachable bed table from the bed’s armrest so he could eat in his bed without moving. Alec couldn’t eat much, only a little bit of his porridge, some boiled vegetables and cut fruits. He ate so little but Syfia decided to let him off this time since she didn’t want to pressure him. She would ask him to eat some again a few hours later.

“So what did you talk with the doctors, mom?” Alec asked half-heartedly.

Syfia rubbed her fingers along his cheeks before she replied. “We talked about your injury, Baby. It is serious and needs some times to heal but we shouldn’t lose hope so soon. I mean, you can be better after a few months. It might take some years to heal completely but we will see how it heals.”

“Did the doctors tell you it isn’t permanent and it will be fine after the spine heals blah blah?” Alec looked at him seriously and she felt cornered, slightly feeling sweaty and stuffed.

“No. No.. She didn’t say that.”

Alec hummed.. “So it is permanent?”

“I didn’t say that too.” They all heard the voice from behind and turned their heads to the door. There was Maryse, standing at the door and gracefully walked in staring at Alec. Alec stared at her back, unfazed.

“There are different cases of paraplegia and the cases are different from one person to another. The capabilities and the sensations can be different too and they may or may not change over time. Why are you acting like this? I saw a lot of patients lost their lives even when they wanted to live. Be a little grateful and I suggest you to relax, do the damn therapy to get better. There are a lot of people who beat paraplegia every day. Keep that in mind, Alec.”

Alec’s stare at the strict Doctor turned to a glare and he started to get angry again, pissed at the world, pissed at himself and pissed at the hospital and everything.

“You know, I don’t like you.” Alec glared at her and spoke out, rather unfriendly and coldly. But it didn’t wipe off the smile on the Doctor as she stared at him, a little sweetly and known she had won. She didn’t break their eye contact and kept her distance a few feet away from the boy on the bed not to trigger him.

“It won’t change the fact that I care about you, Alec. It is fine if you don’t like me. Just get better, and healthier. Surviving is a gift some people didn’t get. “

Alec’s shoulder sagged. Why was he so pessimistic? _Right, he had to bother people and he would be too dependable on his family now._

_***_

Another three days in the hospital with a lot of therapists and nurses, Alec was so done and tired that he snapped. He tried to keep the emotions inside of him every time the doctors and nurses came in and he was just so tired with holding back his tears getting emotional over the rehab exercises he couldn’t pertake willingly but the nurses made his legs do. Moreover, every time he saw the medical teams, they reminded him of how weak and dependable he was to his surrounding and it made him sad.

“I want to go home!!!” Alec complained.

“You are not well enough yet, Alec.” His mom stopped him immediately.

“Then, how long do we have to wait?!”

“We will have to stay a few weeks here. Alec, I know you don’t like here but just endure a little-“

“I don’t want to be here anymore!!!” Alec dug his face into his fingers, covering it. “Mom.. I- I can’t move.. I can’t walk.. I can’t be your happy little Alec anymore. Maybe you should just throw me to a rehab care and leave me!!!” Alec lashed out again angrily at himself, unable to stop at when his words had hurt his kind adoptive mother even when he didn’t mean them at her at all. He was just angry and disappointed at himself. He looked at Syfia shocked, as he saw her hands covering her mouth as she gasped and tears soaked on her porcelain soft cheeks.

“Mom..” Alec spoke out, shocked and shaken... He reached out his hands at her and she quickly held him tight, with her hands gripping on his hospital shirt.

“What are you talking about, Alec?! I would never.. never put you in a house away from us.” She leaned on his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably. “Don’t you dare think I will leave you.. I have never ever wished anything will happen to you, Alec. You got hurt to protect me. I am feeling guilty as I could ever be. I took away your legs. You could just blame it on me but don’t you ever expect me to drop you somewhere.”

“I am sorry, mom.. I am so sorry..” Alec hugged her tightly and he couldn’t help but cry as well. It pained his heart when his mother cried because of him. All he had been thinking was how dependable and more of a liability he felt like had become but he didn’t consider others’ feeling. He didn’t think of his mom, Magnus, the doctors or the other people. He could see how selfish and self-centered he was and the sob cry of his mom was stabbing his chest with a thousand knives. “I am so sorry.. I didn’t mean it... I am so sorry..”

Alec kept apologizing and Syfia shook her head as she smiled and wiped away her tears. Her hand cradled his soft black hairs gently which he had always loved. She also helped him wiped away his tears and Alec chuckled, looking down at the blanket with a whisper of ‘I am sorry…’ a shy and quiet apology as he tugged on the blanket absent-mindedly..

“You are forgiven.” Syfia said it and it brightened Alec up as he looked up. She couldn’t stop ruffling his hair as it would make both of them smiled. “Alec, baby.. Listen. You grow up to be a sweet and shy boy but young and strong. You will make it through and we all will. We will be here with you every step of your life and help you through it. I am sorry, you will have some difficulties but I know you can endure them. I will never leave you alone so you don’t have to go through it all by yourself, my sweet boy. I love you. We will be okay.” She planted a kiss on his forehead and he looked away to his side, staring at the blanket over his legs again but he squeezed her hands with some encouraging strength he had left in his mind, a little smile tugged on his lips.

“And I love you too, mom. Please, please believe me. I have never regretted getting hurt. It is just I felt so bad having to burden you with myself.”

“And you will never be a burden, Alec. You should stop saying something which wasn’t true.” She smiled and lifted his chin up with her finger to see his soft smile. “Now, that’s better. I have been blessed with two sweet children, too kind and silly.” She rolled her eyes but with a fond smile.

***

 The next day when Magnus came to visit the hospital room, Alec was up, fed and bored in his hospital room. He was greeted with a smile of Alec and he felt joy in his chest. Alec didn’t want to lie back down on the bed anymore so he pulled out the detachable bed table across his hospital bed and leaned his head on his hands across over the table, his face slightly bored and his expression was soft.

“You looked like you are having a good time. What’s the good stuff, Alec?” Magnus smiled taking his usual place of the chair just beside the bed.   

Alec smiled softly, turning his face to Magnus still leaning on table. Magnus ended up staring Alec. Gosh, Alec was beautiful.. even when he was sick and pale.. even when he was with just in a plain hospital shirt... “No physio today.” He rejoiced.

Magnus snorted and chuckled. “Okay, you must have hated it so much.”

“No fun.” Alec replied. “But now, I am bored…”

 Magnus raised his eyebrow, and smiled, taking out a bag he had carried from home from his behind. “I have just the things for you. Here are for you. Yours from now.”

Alec was surprised and he reached out his hands to take the bag from Magnus. As he opened the bag, he couldn’t stop his excitement. “Wow..” He let out a surprised gasp, taking out a beautifully made drawing book, a pencil set, a lot of colouring pencils, crayons and some watercolours from the bag Magnus had just given to him and arranged them on a table. His eyes were widened and he fondled the beautifully bonded drawing book in his hands.

“I got them for your graduation gift but Um, a lot of things happened. You can draw and paint there, if you are bored. I also brought you some books if you want to read... to kill some times in the hospital before you can come back home.”

“Magnus…” Alec whispered quietly.. “You don’t have to. But thank you, really.”

“Hope you like it.” Magnus smiled and Alec returned it.

“I do. They are beautiful.” Alec smiled, fondling the back of the drawing book with his fingers.

“Have fun away. They are all yours.” Magnus encouraged him. “You can just put them in the bed table drawer and use them whenever you feel like. I will help you with the drawings if you have any trouble.”

Alec smiled and flipped the first page of the book to start a drawing. At the moment, he just felt happiness and couldn’t stop grinning. Magnus came and sat on the bed, to get a better view of what he would be drawing. At that moment they shared, both of them were closer than any other moment they had ever been and contented, peaceful.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> When I was writing, I had a slight idea of Maryse appearing to scold depressed Alec and here she was!! Queen!!! (๑♡⌓♡๑)  
> A slight malec too. (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ  
> Do let me know your thoughts. <3  
> Btw, I would post other different malec one shots stories in between of updates so do look forward to them. (‘∀’ )♡


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus brings Alec to the garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, loveliess.  
> Here is a new chapter and I hope you will like it.  
> Excuse my mistakes and typos because it s already 4am here and I am going to sleep.  
> I will fix the mistakes when I wake up. xD
> 
> This chapter contains depression, panic triggers and panic attacks.  
> You have been warned.  
> Nevertheless, I hope you will like it. :')
> 
> ***

***

 

The other next two days are back to normal with physio therapy again and Alec had endured them, trying not to be so upset with himself. Every time they talked about the paralysis or during every therapy session, he was reminded about his disability and tears pricked his eyes and threatened him to fall into depression. Alec clung to Syfia more than ever and Magnus was being nicer to him, making extra sure that he wasn’t feeling alone. However, there was sadness inside of him that even he couldn’t help. He was paraplegic now. That was that.

Alec had been feeling sleepy and was sleeping most of the time. Dr. Maryse suspected it was a part of depression signs. His appetite had been lost for sometimes and he had lost a lot of weight now too since he couldn’t swallow down much and he had been refusing to eat more. He didn’t like himself now and it was hard to accept himself when he needed all the cares and helps from his adoptive family. The feeling of being like a slumped pillow, needing people to pick up, bring food or assist in all of his daily activies he could have done easily himself- Alec despised it so much.

Although his periods of trauma experience became normal after the time passed, his depression couldn’t just go away, haunting him every time he wanted to get up and be normal again. But there were more problems in him to worry about him. For example, a catheter was attached to his bladder with a bag hanged down to the bed side or to his thigh when he had to go out for physio therapy. He had no idea if he could have his bladder function working normally back in time but he prayed. He felt like he was weak and burdening to his adoptive family that his will to live had been fading away.

One time when Magnus came in, Alec was gazing out of the window in his wheelchair and Magnus thought it had been too long since he had last gone out in the sun. He knocked on the door to let the other boy know he was entering but Alec didn’t look up. Magnus walked to Alec, crouching down beside him as he gently placed his hand over the pale hand on the armrest of the wheelchair. Alec was startled and looked up immediately from his gaze.

“Hi, Alec.” Magnus smiled and saw a small curve of Alec’s lips formed but he didn’t say anything so he continued. “I brought food. Are you hungry?” He asked gently and kindly.

“Thanks but no, I am not. I just ate earlier.” Alec replied quietly.

“Which I had just talked with the nurse. You ate very little and threw up afterwards.” Magnus said with a frown and Alec sighed to himself, not letting Magnus saw his frustration.

“I wasn’t so hungry.” His reply was shy and small, a little apologetic of the trouble and the worry he had caused.

“If the food in the hospital is gross, you can tell us what you want to eat. We will bring it to you immediately.” Magnus assured him and Alec shook his head at that. He didn’t want to bring any more trouble to them.

“I can live with that. The food here is fine. Thanks, Magnus.” Alec replied and Magnus wasn’t taking that. He stared at the pale and weak boy in front of him and he was looking so down and sad. It was already in 6 weeks at the hospital and he knew he had enough of that but stayed silent not to trouble them all. Magnus saw the sun shined through the window to them and thought of bringing Alec out to the garden. So he got up on his feet again and Alec looked up with sad eyes when Magnus’s body towered his sitting, unable-to-get-up-from-the-chair body.

“Say what if I will bring you a tour to the garden?” Magnus’s hand griped on the handle of the wheelchair and Alec gasped as it was a little moved.

"W-what..?"

“A tour to the hospital’s garden.. Today’s weather is really good, you see. You haven’t been out with people for so long, right? And the doctors and nurses recommend you to be more active. I want to take you out to downstairs, get you some nice sun tan and come back here later. You seriously need to go out in the sun, Alec.” Magnus started unlocking the wheels from their locks to allow him to be able to push. Alec’s hands held onto the armrest tightly until his knuckles became white from gripping too hard. It was true that he was almost done with this room but he- he didn’t want to be outside. He didn’t want to see people. He- he didn’t think he was ready at all.

“Magnus.. No- No. Please.. I- I don’t need to.” Alec argued, stuttering from anxiety and nervous feeling in his chest.

“But you do, Alec. You will get better. At least, you will feel better from the suffocated feeling inside these four walls. You have been rejecting anyone to take you out because you are scared. Come on. I will take care of you, Alec. You don’t have to be afraid of anything.” Magnus assured, looking deep into his eyes and Alec gulped. Who was he to say no to this man talking sweetly and kindly to him? Alec had been weak with Magnus so he sighed, giving a nod at him and the elder one’s face lit up. He grabbed a shawl from the wardrobe and placed it carefully across Alec’s lap.

“Tell me when you feel cold or sick, okay? We can go back immediately if you are uncomfortable there.” Magnus told him as he started pushing the wheelchair to outside. Alec gulped and placed his hands on the shawl on his lap. It was thick and warm and Alec tugged on it a little from feeling very nervous when his wheelchair was being pushed by Magnus, the mean and cold but handsome adoptive brother. He wasn’t cold and mean anymore to him that he didn’t know what to feel about it. Sometimes, Alec wished he wasn’t so kind to him because all the stuffed feelings in his chest confused him. He had lost his ability to walk and currently being very dependable to others but Magnus started being kind to him. Sometimes, it made the heat in his cheeks rose up like mad.

They entered the elevator which was made large enough to fit strollers and hospital beds so it fit them and all other patients, doctors and nurses. They met Tessa, one of the doctors caring for Alec and Gretel, his nurse in the elevator and they greeted him happily when they saw Alec and Magnus. Tessa was so pleased when she heard Magnus was taking Alec to a walk together in the garden.

“The weather is so good today.” She chirped happily at them. “Oh Alec, you’ll definitely like it. You need a good healthy tan too. You had been staying in your room for a long time when we told you to go out in the sun.” She narrowed her eyes at him and Alec chuckled awkwardly, showing a shy grin to her. It was Magnus who could actually convince him to go out. He felt bad to say no to him. Otherwise, he would never leave the room. The elevator opened, Tessa and Gretel went out in a hurry but not before saying _“Have a fun time, Alec.”_ to him. In a few second, they reached the ground floor and Magnus pushed the chair outside of the elevator. Alec gulped, seeing a lot of people downstairs. A reception was managing people and some people were waiting, some were moving very fast to and fro and Alec bit his lips as he gripped on the shawl on his lap.

“You okay?” Magnus asked from behind, leaning towards his ear and Alec shivered, nodding a couple of times quickly with his eyes closed. “Fantastic. We are going out to the garden, Alec.”

Magnus was gentle, patient and careful when pushing his wheelchair. He was careful not to bump into anything or not to go so fast to frighten Alec and he was grateful for that. Soon, the glass door of the hospital opened and they were at the foot of the garden. Magnus took a few more steps and they were already in the sunlight.

***

And Guess what. Alec hated it.

Hate was a strong word to describe a good warm day but he clearly disliked being out in the sun. The sun might be good and just warm for Magnus and the rest of the people but it was too hot for him. He frowned in the sunlight, trying to see with one hand shading his eyes. The garden had a lot of green plants and trees. It was designed for sunbathing but also to provide a lot of shady areas so they saw many benches, unshaded or shaded and those green grass areas under the shady trees where people could sit. They also had some tennis courts and basketballs courts so some people were playing there as well. There were a lot of people in the garden walking with supported equipments or some in the wheelchairs pushed by a companion or themselves for some fresh air.

“Relax, no one is going bite you.” Magnus teased him as he wheeled them along the concrete lane. Alec looked up at him nervously.

“I know.. It- it is just it felt all new to me.” Alec replied and Magnus nodded, unable to choose what to reply. Magnus stopped the wheelchair near a grass spot under a shady tree and took the shawl from Alec. Alec was confused and watched him when he unfolded the shawl and laid it out on the grass. Then, Alec realized he was using it to make a place for them to sit. Magnus held out a hand to Alec and Alec took it hesitantly. Magnus took his hand in one hand but used the other to scoop him from the chair and maneuvered him gently and carefully onto the grass covered with the shawl. He carefully fixed Alec’s position until he was sure Alec was safe and comfortable on the shawl. He raised his one eyebrow at Alec, studying carefully if he was okay. “Are you comfortable?” He asked to make sure.

Alec nodded with a smile. “Thank you” He shyly replied and stared at his legs while Magnus folded his wheelchair and placed it on the grass beside them. They looked normal and well- just that it felt as dead as a log though. He stared at the blue sky, lying under the shady tree. He felt the sunlight, not directly from the shades and the nice breezes in the air and he was grateful for it since it had been so long in the hospital room and this was very refreshing. The weather was just warm and nice that he thought he could fell asleep in a while.

“Are you enjoying it?” A nice breeze hit them and Magnus asked him, as a soft whispered not to disturb him.

“Mm hmm.” Alec replied, closing his eyes to the breeze and sunshine but a small curve on his lips. “This is so good. I think I am falling asleep.”

Magnus chuckled. “You have 45minutes. I will wake you after that or if we have to go up.”

Alec smiled with his eyes shut, already dozing off under the warm and nice weather. Magnus stared at him, no words going out of his lips as he admired how good-looking Alec had become or how nice and sweet Alec actually was. He took out his phone and snapped a few photo of Alec sleeping beside him before he turned his head to the sky as he stared at the clear blue sky. He lifted up his phone to his eyes as he reviewed the photos he took and it made him smile. He sent one to his mother with the caption **_‘Alec fell asleep while I took him out to the garden for a walk.”._** His mother instantly replied with a heart emoji and continuous text messages. Magnus was worried the tone would wake him so he put it on mute and replied them.

_**Mom: : Oh my god, Alec agreed to go out?** _

_**Mom: :Look at him! My son is so precious!** _

_**Mom: : Well, both of my sons are. How nice of you to bring him out, Magnus.** _

_**Mom: : I was getting worried when he kept saying no to the idea.** _

_**Magnus: : Yea, I could convince him to take a tour to the garden. Will be returning in 45minutes though, Mama.** _

_**Mom: : That is good. Take care of him, baby. Take care of yourself too.** _

_**Magnus: : I always do, Ibu. Will do.** _

_**Mom: : See you boys in the evening, my lovelies. Have fun!** _

_**Magnus: : See you soon, Mama.** _

Magnus locked the phone screen and sent it to the side after their conversation. Syfia would be coming to the hospital in the evening and bring them dinner. He knew if it were his mom, she would be able to convince him to eat more which he had failed earlier. Magnus sighed and closed his eyes to rest. That was until a few minutes later and his phone rang again. He picked it up immediately not to wake the sleeping boy and when he looked at the screen for the name, it was from an unknown number but it was familiar to him as if he had seen somewhere else.

Alec rolled a little and opened his one eye. Magnus shhhed him. He pointed to his phone and mouthed “Go back to sleep. I gonna take this.” And Magnus got up from their spot as Alec murmured an “Okay” sleepily.

***

“Hi, Magnus Bane speaking. May I know who is calling?” Magnus answered the call.

“Hi, Mr. Bane. This is calling from the Human Resource department of Xxxx Fashion Company. I am Catherine, the head of the Human Resource department and we have reviewed your resume.” The lady from the other side replied and Magnus’s heart skipped a beat. It was the company he had always dreamt of and wanted to join ever since he was a child.

“Yes?” He prompted and the lady continued.

“Well, we were very thrilled as we reviewed your portfolio. We believe your sense of fashion and creativity are exactly what we need in our company. Currently, we are in need of one designer for the winter so we would like to arrange an interview for the job to discuss about the winter show. It would be a good debuting experience for you too. May I know when it will be alright for you?”

Magnus was honestly so honoured and happy. He was smiling like a fool on the phone and his heart was beating crazily as if it was going to jump out of his chest. But he realized the current situation and his smile loosened a little bit but he breathed in, knowing he needed sometimes to think about it.

“Hi, Catherine. This is such an amazing news for me and I am so honoured for this call but I may need some times to think about it. May I have some times?” Magnus asked, his shoulder slumped a little.

“You can have 3 days to think about it, Mr.Bane. Do let me know at Friday again for the interview arrangement time.” The head of the HR replied and Magnus thanked her as he cut the call. It had always been his dream to join the company but right now? No, it was not for now. Right now, he wanted to be beside Alec, helping him with whatever he needed and bringing him back on his feet again. Magnus looked back at Alec where had been a little far from the place he was now as he rambled and walked during the interview call. There were a few people surrounding the place and Magnus knew it couldn’t be good since Alec hated crowds. _No.. No.._ Magnus thought in terror and the worry hit him. He ran to there, yelling people to back off as he tried to disperse the crowd.

***

Alec was half asleep when Magnus told him he was taking the call but became completely awake when he realized that Magnus was gone from his sight. _It is okay.._ Alec thought to himself. _It is okay... He is just taking the call. He will come back._ Alec’s breaths hinged and he choked on it a few times. He wheezed and struggled to breathe as he tried to calm himself down. _It is okay. He could do it. Just breathe and count... One.. Two.. Three… then, breathe again before you breathe out.. One.. two-….._  A shadow fell over Alec and he looked up to an elderly couple looking at him with frowns.

“Kid, you don’t look good. Are you okay?” The man asked and his voice was strange and burning to his ears. _No. No. he didn’t want to hear from a stranger._ A Human interaction with a stranger was the last thing he needed now. "Where is your guardian?!” he asked again, with a much higher voice that made Alec flinched.

“He- He’s here. On a Ph- Phone call.” Alec replied with much difficulty and heard his voice trembling. Alec shook his head and tried to focus himself on breathing again when there were more shadows appearing in front of him. He looked up in fear and became really scared as the world became to rotate around him.

“No. No...” he whimpered, wanting to beg the people to go away. But the people seemed like more concerned with him and they kept watching him as if a terrible thing was going to happen to him. They were staring at him in pity, fear and murmuring to each other. _What happened to the kid? Where is his family? Is he going to be okay? He is so pale. What kind of disease he has? Someone call a doctor?_ There were too much questions, too much whispers and Alec couldn’t make them go away. One of them touched his shoulder and his eyes were widened with the fear and anxiety of being in a crowd and tears started rolling from his eyes. He grabbed on his hospital shirt, squeezed his eyes shut and lowered his head to avoid the people before he heard someone rushing to the crowd and yelling the crowd to back off. It was Magnus!!!

Magnus rushed to his side, gently circled his arms around Alec and Alec held onto him tightly. “You all are suffocating him. Leave him alone!!!” He shouted at the crowd as he hid Alec’s head in his chest, gently rubbing circles on his back. The people left, but not without complaining and blaming Magnus for not being there beside the sick boy as a guardian should. It made Alec sobbed, half choking on his tears and lack of breath so Magnus released his hands around him and lifted up Alec’s chin gently. The younger boy’s face was all red and messy with tears rolling on his cheeks as he sobbed. Magnus held his head gently in his both hands.

“Hey.. hey.. Alec, darling. Look at me, okay? It is okay. People are gone. Try to breathe, okay?” Magnus spoke gently, his eyes shining with all soft and gentleness. “You can breathe, okay? Match my breathing. Breathe in until three.. One.. Two… Three… Now release. Good job, let’s try again. Breathe in. One.. Two… Three… Now it is time to breathe out.” Magnus guided him and Alec followed, not easily but he’d got it. Soon afterward, Alec’s breathing became normal but he still held onto Magnus and Magnus knew better than to break the atmosphere. Alec leaned on his shoulder and gripped on his shirt as he sniffed from his earlier crying.

“I am sorry…” Alec whispered in a sniff. Magnus patted his back gently to comfort him.

“For what, Alec?” he asked back.

“They- they called you mean and rude stuffs because of me. I- I was panicking so they blamed you.” Alec’s voice was so small and full of guilty so Magnus couldn’t help feeling sorry for the boy. He looked at him to meet the innocent hazel eyes.

“It is okay, Alec. I wasn’t around too. If I had known you would have a panic attack without me, I would never leave your side. I didn’t want to disturb you.” Magnus replied with a smile as he wiped away the residue tears on Alec’s cheek. Alec shook his head.

“It- it is not all you. I was a little bit anxious but it was okay. Then they all came in and surrounded me and I just couldn’t-..” Alec bit his lips. “They were the ones who scared me and still blamed all on you. I am sorry.”

“Don’t even apologize for something you didn’t do, Alec. Yes, I know they are the ones. But what matters is you are fine now. I don’t mind.” Magnus smiled and ruffled his hair gently. Alec hugged him tightly in his hands and Magnus hugged him back. Magnus was gently stroking Alec’s hair and staring at the grass on the ground. At the moment, he knew he was sure... He wanted to help Alec to get better. He wanted to be by his side…

 

The interview didn't matter to him much for now...

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> So I hope you will like the chapter. See you soon in the next chapter, lovelies. <3  
> Do comment your thoughts. <3 <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii, Sweeties. I am back with another chapter.  
> Just handed my midterm paper yesterday. I am back to writing.  
> Hopefully, I plan to update this very soon like in a few days. :'D  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter. Excuse my mistakes. 
> 
> ***

***

 

When Dr.James Carstairs aka Jem walked into the elevator to check Alec, he was surprised to see Alec and Magnus in the same elevator as him. Alec who had never agreed to go out of his room was in the elevator, his face was red, blotchy and in a mess with his one hand rubbing his eyes with a sniff. Jem couldn’t help but greeted them immediately and asked what the problem was.

“He met with people..” Magnus replied with a sigh and a shrug.

“He- what?” Jem’s head tilted with Magnus’s answer and he was a little confused.

 “I took him to the garden for a change. While I was away from taking the phone, some people talked to him and he got a panic attack.” Magnus explained to him and Alec looked up at him with his wide innocent troubled eyes. Jem suppressed his inner chuckle as much as he could as a doctor and showed him a small encouraging smile. Alec laughed a little when he saw Jem’s weird smile and it made Magnus smile with relief. Jem laughed too and ruffled Alec’s hair gently.

“Look like we will need to work on that too.” Jem commented. “For now, let’s go back to the room and have usual check-up.”

It turned out Alec was getting healthier and Jem said he might be discharged from the hospital soon enough in a few weeks of time which brightened up Alec a little. He was warned he might have a lot of difficulties and inconveniences from the paraplegia compared to what he was able to do before the car accident. He was also warned about his body being changed from the spinal cord injury. The injury had weakened his core and his body wouldn’t be just as good and durable as it was before. For now, he tried not to think so much of that since the topic really got him down. He would just face it when it happened. 

After the incident, Magnus and Syfia tried to bring Alec to outdoors more and Alec was getting used to going out, not protesting as much when he was brought outside and they never left his side anymore. Magnus was observing and looking out the younger boy carefully, finding some healthy colours on his face. Rapheal, Ragnor and Catarina visited him quite a lot of times so Alec was more distracted about himself which Magnus was grateful for it. It was a little concerning when Alec had only them, a mere five of them, Magnus himself, his mom and his friends.

It was one cloudy day in the hospital. Alec was staring at the outside of his window alone before he decided to go outside. The weather was just his favourite, gloomy, dark and cold. The cold breeze hit him and he just wanted to go outside desperately. Magnus was still on his way so he left a note on his table saying he was going out to the garden. Alec wheeled himself outside of the door and along the corridor. It was his first time going out alone so he was a little excited and scared but he was focused. As he was waiting for the elevator, he saw Jem again and he greeted him.

“Where are you going, Alec?”

“Just to the garden.” Alec replied with a smile.

“But it is almost going to rain.”

“I know.. That is why I wanted to go there. I want to feel the cold rainy breeze. I will be careful, please.” Alec pleaded with a smile and who was Jem to say no to his patient. There were still a lot of people playing in the garden and he contemplated for a while but nodded, deciding it would be alright if Alec would just come up as soon as it rained.

“But hurry up. We don’t want you to get soaked in the rain. Do you need me accompanying you, Alec?” Jem offered.

“Nah. I am good. Thank you, Jem.” Alec replied and both of them entered to the elevator as it arrived to their level.

“Alright. But don’t hesitate to ask someone for help if you need it.” Jem warned and Alec just smiled and nodded.

“Okay.” He said and wheeled himself outside of the door until he found his usual spot of the garden where he usually just stayed there and stared at random things happening in the garden like the trees moving with the wind or the leaves falling. It was a little chilly and Alec regretted he didn’t wear his warm wool cardigan over his t-shirt but he was enjoying the moment. The air outside was much colder, richer with the scent of earthy ground and he felt more free and loose from all the things revolving around him. Alec closed his eyes and took a breath of the fresh air.

Alec stayed there and stared for a while until it was going to rain and he decided to head back. As his hands reached out to the wheel again, a football hit his head pretty hard and fall onto his lap. He felt angry suddenly and a little teary from the pain. He looked up to where the noises came from and found little boy around 8 years old, brown hair with glasses, jumping with his hands up happily with much enthusiasm.

“Kick it! Kick it back to me!” The little boy shouted happily. The boy seemed to be playing football with the two people beside him, a black hair girl and a blonde boy, seemingly his older brother and sister. Alec just stared at the ball in his hands, smiled a little before he tossed it back to them.  He sighed and continued to wheel along the concrete lane back to the main building. His head was still hurting a little. _Bad luck._

The blonde boy and the black hair girl were watching at the boy with the football their little brother had hit and frowned when he just tossed it back without saying anything but their mouths were gasped open slightly when he just rolled his wheelchair back himself. The blonde boy looked at his sister and she looked at him back, worried and feeling bad. He decided and ran up to the boy earlier to catch up with him.

Alec was surprised and taken back when somebody jumped in front of him and he tried his best to stop the wheelchair from moving. He managed to hit the brake before he ran into the person and glared at him for suddenly jumping in.

“You scared me!” Alec glared at the person and accused him.

“Yeah… Man.. Um.. Sorry about that. Sorry about the ball earlier too. Our little brother was so excited about playing with us. He is just a kid so forgive him. I am terribly sorry about that.” The blonde boy apologized.

Alec smiled faintly. “Yea.. It really hurts. But thank you. I appreciate the apology.” The blonde boy tensed, feeling bad about it. His sister and brother caught up to him and his sister greeted him with a smile before she asked her little brother to come out and apologize to Alec.

“Now what do you say, Max?” She asked and the little boy came out behind his elder siblings feeling shy and small.

“I am sorry...” He apologized with a small face and Alec couldn’t be angry at the kid anymore. He shook his head and smiled at the boy to reassure he was fine.

“It is fine. Don’t worry about it. Be careful next time..” He replied and everyone smiled, feeling relieved.

“I am Jace, Jace Lightwood. This is my sister and brother, Isabelle and Max.” The blonde boy introduced himself and his siblings. Isabelle smiled cheerfully at him and Max beamed as they were introduced.

Alec nodded and wondered if they were related to the Dr. Maryse. “I am Alec. Now if you guys excuse me, I have to go inside now. If it rains, I am slower than any of you.” Alec said as he put his hands on the wheels again. As he was saying, he felt a drop of water on his cheek... and another on his hand. “Oh god, it is raining..” He sighed as he tried to wheel his chair faster.

“Let me help. We all are going inside anyway.” Jace immediately offered as he went behind his wheelchair. Alec frowned and wanted to protest but it would really be faster and more convenient if he had just accepted the boy’s help. But then, he wasn’t any familiar to a stranger’s help.

“Please, I insist.” Jace added again when Alec was frowning and didn’t reply to him. He wasn’t cornering him or anything. He just stood beside Alec not so close enough to make him feel suffocated like the other would do. Noticing his considerate action, Alec gave in, feeling a little defeated.

“Thank you.” Alec replied with a nod. Jace grabbed the handles of the chair and Isabelle and Max walked alongside of them, walking a bit slowly to match with their pace. Max was happy and Isabelle smiled talking to him. They were chatting beside Alec and Jace who were just silent on the way, not sure of what to say or do, except being on to their way back to the hospital.

“I was having fun playing football.” Max whined to his siblings and they laughed.

“It can’t be helped, Max. It is raining.” Isabelle replied.

“Then, we are going to get stuck in Mom’s office or in a waiting room.” He sighed.

“I have Uno cards.” Jace told Max. “We can playwhile we wait for mom.”

“Yay!” Max cheered happily. “Perhaps Alec should join too!!!” He added and looked at Alec pleadingly with his brown child-like innocent eyes.

Alec was stunned at the offer. Isabelle and Jace looked at each other and their eyes turned to Alec.

“I- I think I gonna pass-..” Alec stuttered.

“Pleaseee..” Max whined. “We are stuck in here until night.. I have all the board games. The more people the more fun it is.”

“Look.. Max.. Perhaps we shouldn’t bother Alec..” Jace added, trying not to give him a hard time. But Max was whining and insisting Alec needed to be in the game too.

“Okay..” Alec swallowed dryly. “M-maybe you guys should come to my room. It is just me and my mom and Magnus.”

“Great!!! Okay, Wait here!” Max yelled happily and rushed to the elevator, going up alone as he didn’t wait for anymore. Isabelle tried to stop him but sighed when he disappeared out of sight.

Alec frowned as the little kid went alone by himself. “Is it safe? Will he be okay?”

“He will be fine. He grew up in the hospital.” Jace replied. “He is going to take his board games. We will just wait here. Is it really okay for you? I don’t want to bring in more trouble.”

“It is fine.” Alec reassured. “Um.. if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to him?

“What?” Jace asked again in confusion.

“You said he grew up in the hospital.. so I wonder if he had any illness or something…”

“Oh.. no.” Jace chuckled. “He grew up in the hospital because our parents work here. We wait for them here after our school if they don’t have late night shifts.”

“Oh, okay.” Alec nodded. “That is great to hear.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” Isabelle asked in curiosity. “I am sorry if I am asking too personal. You don’t have to answer.”

He didn’t know the reason but he trusted them. He felt comfortable around them. The siblings were nice.. and considerate. Alec remembered well about the encounter of his first trip to the garden. Unlike those people, the siblings were nice. Being able to talk to the people around the same age was nice too.

“It is fine. I am paraplegic. I was in a car accident. My spine was injured and I lost my legs’ functions ever since then.” Alec replied.

 Isabelle murmured, “I am sorry.”

Alec shrugged it off. “Don’t be sorry. It is not your fault.”

In his surprise, she gave him a warm hug and squeezed her arms around him tightly. “I am sure your family is so relieved, just knowing that you are alive. Being paraplegic could be difficult but I think you are still alive and well. I think it is what it matters to them.”

Alec smiled and patted her back. “I am sure.” He shyly murmured back. They broke the hug and the elevator opened again, a very happy and excited Max coming out of the elevator, waving the board games in his hands as he ran back to them.

“Max, careful!” Isabelle warned but she smiled as she saw his little brother. “Max doesn’t have a lot of friends.” She explained to Alec with a fond giggle. “So he is always happy when we play with him. Now he found you too.” Alec swallowed hard at that. So was he. He didn’t have any friend of his own.

The next person Alec spotted out of the elevator was Magnus, as good-looking as ever with his a little shiny black silk vast and navy blue shirt, matched with his skinny black pants. He was wearing such a flawless makeup with black smoky eyes. He was a little intimidating that Alec found it was hard to breathe as he walked over to them.

“Alec, you scared me when I couldn’t find you in the room.” Magnus immediately scolded him as he reached near.

“I left a note...” Alec opposed.

“Well, your absence in the room gave my poor heart a fright. I thought I was going to get a heart attack first before I found your note, Alec!” He grumbled dramatically and Alec couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “And who are you guys?”

“I am Jace Lightwood. This is Isabelle and Max, my siblings. We just became friends with Alec in the garden.” Alec stared at him immediately. _Friends?_

Magnus stared at them for a short second before he smiled in satisfaction as he took Jace’s hand to shake.

“Nice to meet you. I am Magnus- you could say I am his guardian.”

“You didn’t tell me you have a hot guardian, Alec.” Isabelle stared at Magnus and Magnus laughed as he took her hand for a handshake.

“Could you guys be the children of Dr. Maryse Lightwood?” Magnus asked in curiosity and they all nodded. “No wonder.”

“I am Max!” Max introduced himself and handed out his hand to Magnus. Magnus took his hand with a bright smile. “And Alec just agreed to play my board games.”

“Oh, did he?” Magnus eyed at Alec. “Let’s head back to the room. You all can play as long as you want there.”

In the end, they all headed to back to Alec’s room, sat there and played for five more hours when Dr. Maryse had to pull off another hour in surgery. They all sat on the carpet floor in the middle of the room and Isabelle noted how kind Magnus was when he helped Alec gently moving from his chair to the floor. They played Uno cards and a lot of board games. Max was having so much fun and he squealed happily every time he won a round. Magnus just joined in for a few games and mostly watched them lazily from the couch. Everyone was smiling and laughing happily, having a great game time. Magnus looked at Alec and he found himself mesmerized watching the younger boy’s different expressions, frowning in concentration, grinning when he pulled a Plus Four card, laughing when he won the round. He was glad to see his carefree smile.

As Maryse texted Jace she was done, it was time for them to go home. They hugged Alec happily and told him “ _Good Night”_. Alec hugged them back and replied a “ _Good Bye”_ a little sadly. Magnus helped him back to the bed and told him he would send them off to the doctor’s office and Alec nodded.

“Hey..” Magnus called them out from the door and rushed his steps to catch them up. The Lightwood siblings saw them and stopped their steps.

“Thank you for taking care of Alec and for accompanying him tonight. It meant a lot for him.” Magnus explained to them.

“It is no problem at all. We had fun.” Jace grinned and Magnus smiled a little.

“He was showing signs of depression ever since he found out about his spinal injury and he didn’t have any friends to spend his time with. We are worried about him.”

“No friend? How can it be possible?” Jace asked in wonder.

“He didn’t go out much.” Magnus smiled as he shrugged. “Look, I would like you guys to visit him and spend some time with him if you guys are free some times. He really likes you guys and I would be grateful if you can help him distract from his depression.”

“We would love to.” Isabelle smiled. “It is no problem.  We can drop by whenever we wait for Mom and Dad at nights. I think Jace gave him our numbers in case he wants to text us.”

“I did.” Jace agreed. “We would like to have him as a friend. He is really nice.”

“And Max likes him!” Max cheerfully joined in and they all laughed. Jace ruffled his little brother’s hair fondly.

“Will he be able to walk again soon?” Jace asked and Magnus shook his head.

“For now, we all don’t think so. The doctors said the injury on his spine is too severe. It needs a long time to heal. Then, they will talk about the treatments.”

“We hope he will be better in no time.” Jace replied as he shook Magnus’s hand for a farewell. Magnus took it and he hugged Isabelle and Max.

“Nice meeting you again.” He said and they all nodded.

“We will keep in touch.” Jace promised him and they all stepped into the elevator, waving the good-looking man good bye.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Please do leave a comment. :')///  
> Poor Alec.. I love him so much. ;w;;;


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, dears. Here is another chapter for you.  
> I hope you didn't wait for it too long.  
> I will try to update weekly if possible.  
> Thank you for reading, guys. <3 
> 
> And this fic is solely only to express Alec's feeling.  
> My Alec is just like me, too depressed and tried to be independent that he didn't like when he needed help from others. orz  
> I meant no offence to anyone. I apologize in advance.  
> And I am no medical experts so there might be inaccuracy since it is all in my head.
> 
> A little update that I got this whole fic idea from "Me before you" so there will be some painful things later too. But this fic is already all planned out with a happy ending, that I can promise you. ;)  
> I hope all the wait is worth it when it finished. <3 <3  
> ***

***

 

After all those days he had been fine and almost cleared from the hospital, he woke up with sharp pain in his spine. His eyes shot out open, gasping for air as his upper body curled up to the side. He heard Syfia ran to him from the chair asking what was wrong. The pain was so unbearable that his eyes started to tear up.

“My back.. my back hurts so much.” Alec sobbed. She pressed the button to call the nurses and swiped away the sweat from his forehead, murmuring some comforting words into his ears. Alec hanged onto her hands for life until Jem and some nurses rushed into his room. His adoptive mom had no choice but get up to give space to the stuffs.

She was waiting in front their room, walking in circle across the door when Jem came out of the room. She immediately rushed to the doctor. Jem awaited with a sigh.

“What- what was that? How is my baby?”

“It was an attack from his Spinal injury. I am afraid he might get those kinds of attack sometimes in the future as well. For now, we have given him some painkillers and medicines for it. It will still need a few minutes to take effect but hopefully, the pain would be gone by the time.”

She covered her mouth with her shaken hands. “What do you mean he might still have pain attacks in the future? This is bad enough already as it seemed.”

“I am sorry, Mrs. Bane. I am afraid it cannot be avoidable. We could still help him with the help of medicines.” Jem tried to encourage her but she shook her head sadly, tearing welling up in her eyes.

That’s… that’s so cruel…” She muttered to herself. “Oh god.. My poor child…” She walked into the room, with slow and careful steps… Alec was there, lying on his bed again.. his dried up tear lines still had traces on his cheeks and his eyes slightly fuzzy from the medications but lit up in sight of Syfia. She sobbed with a sad smile and grabbed one of his hands on the sheet gently. He gripped her hand tightly, hanging onto her as an anchor as he drifted to sleep. 

***

Alec was slightly ashamed and angry about himself for low pain tolerance when he shouldn’t have been. Syfia just shook her head and reassured him again and again that he had nothing to feel embarrassed, troubled or bad about his conditions. He couldn’t help it. His mom cared about him so much. Magnus found out his condition- but he still treated him the same which let Alec breathe a little better. He couldn’t just be treated like this forever. It was never the way he had expected his future to be.

One morning in hospital, Alec heard a knock when he was on his chair near the table and Dr.Maryse Lightwood came in with a stacks of flat boxes in her hand. She smiled at him as she walked to the table just near to Alec.

“Fancy some pizza, Alec?” She asked with a smile.

“What?” Alec asked in confusion.

“Pizza. I got a box for you if you like some.”

“No.. I- I couldn’t..”

“Please take. We are giving out a lot of pizza to our patients today. To those who can eat, of course. I can give you one box if you like. Do you like chicken barbeque flavor?” She asked as she handed out one box to Alec.

Alec took it hesitantly, with a shy blush on face. “Thank you so much.” He muttered quietly.

“You are welcome, Alec.” She smiled brightly and almost walked out of his room when Alec asked.

“What is the occasion?”

She froze, shifted her heels around again as her smile faded a little.

“Oh.. Today is our eldest son’s birthday..”

“Jace’s birthday?” Alec asked enthusiastically but she slowly shook her head.

 “No.. My eldest baby boy… He had passed away almost 11 years ago…”

“Oh.. oh.. I am so sorry.. I- I shouldn’t.. have asked…” Alec stuttered.

“No, it is alright, Alec. You see, he even had the same name as you. You always reminded me of him.. which.. makes you my favourite patient.” She smiled sadly that Alec couldn’t help but put the box on the table, rolled his chair to her and gave her a huge hug around her waist. She let out a soft _aww_ and blinked away the tear welling up on her eyes. She tried to hold the boxes in her one hand and circled her arms around him.

“You are the sweetest boy I have ever met.” She chuckled with a sniff. “Okay, I gotta go. Robert is waiting for me downstairs. Take a lot of rest, okay?”

Alec nodded with a smile. Maryse wiped away her tear droplets unfallen and clinging around her eyes, made herself neat and tidy before she walked out of the room.

***

He was overjoyed when the doctors said he could be discharged in two weeks but he wasn’t so thrilled when a specialist came in, talked about what he would be facing and taught him about how to cope with things in his daily life slowly. He was paled. He was terrified. But the specialist calmed him down, taught him slowly along with notes he made for him that he got the idea of life after hospital discharge. He had no choice. He would just have to cope. His core was weakened; he was prone to variety ranging from respiratory/infection problems to pneumonia and other serious problems. His spinal injuries were all still healing so there were many chances of injuries being different as the time would pass. The future was uncertain... He was uncertain... He was lost.

Syfia and Magnus were so excited for him to coming back home. They were happy with the news. Syfia was preparing the home for him for Magnus mostly came in to look after him. If both were required, they made sure Alec wasn’t left alone in the room, asking Ragnor, Catarina, Rapheal or Jace, Izzy, Max. Everyone was happy to spend time with Alec. They were only what distracted Alec from the injury for now.

At the day of release from the hospital, Alec had been so excited, going back to the home he grew up in. It had been around 3 months he had been at the hospital. He was nervous, and anxious if he still had a home after the accident. Would he be a burden to the people who adopted him? He fidgeted his hands on his lap, was already changed and dressed in his light grey tshirt and comfortable elastic cotton sweatpants waiting for Syfia and Magnus to pick him up from the room. Dr.Maryse and Jem came in earlier, hugging him tightly and praising him about his recovery. They wanted to send him off to the car so they were waiting for his adoptive family in his room.

“Relax, kid. You are so timid.” Maryse tried to joke. She gently placed her hand over to stop the boy’s fidgeting hands. Alec looked up with a small smile.

“I- I am just so nervous. It has been a long time I am out of house.” He looked down at his lap. “They- they will come, right? They wouldn’t leave me because it is the day I am discharged.”

“What are you talking about, Alec? I just talked to Syfia on phone. They just left the house to pick you up.” Maryse frowned and crouched down beside him. She gently placed her hand to cup the boy’s cheek gently with a smile. “Who wouldn’t love to bring such a good child like you back to home, Silly? If they didn’t, I would.”

She teased and Alec laughed, smiling into her touch. It was so warm and gentle, made him guilty about all the negative behaviours he acted toward her.

“I- I might have acted badly when- when I was sick. I am sorry.” He mumbled.

“It is usual for people to be upset and angry when they are handled in a hospital, Alec. Don’t even worry about it.” She smiled. “To be honest, you made it to my top favourite patients list if you don’t know. I love you already.”

Alec chuckled and hugged her tightly. “I love you too. Thank you for taking care of me during these days.”

She smiled as she patted his back gently. “Remember, your therapy is twice a week, Tuesday and Friday. I will still see you in the hospital until I say you are alright. Take care, kid. You deserve to be happy.”

Alec nodded. As they were talking, the door opened and his family came in, Syfia and Magnus. Syfia was dressed gorgeously in her bright sunflower colour complimenting her light caramel skin tone. Magnus was dressed in light colour as well and Alec figured out it was to celebrate. Magnus was holding a bouquet of sunflowers accompanied by light small baby breaths flowers. Syfia grinned happily as she saw Alec and took the bouquet from him as she walked to him.

“Hi, Baby.” She grinned and hugged him tightly after she handed him the flowers. “Congratulation, Alec. I am so glad you are coming home. I am sure you will like it better. We missed you so much at home.”

“Thank you, mom. You look beautiful. So does Magnus.” Alec returned her hug and melted in her hug. It was stupid of him to have those insecure doubts about them not wanting him.

“Thanks, Baby. We agreed to dress well to make you feel better on the day you are coming home. We have been so excited!” Alec let out another shy murmur of _thank you_ again, staring at the flowers. They looked really pretty and elegant.

Magnus picked up his hospital bag and flung across his shoulder. He placed the other bag of clothes to Alec, asking him to place it on his lap as he pushed his wheelchair. Maryse and Syfia walked out first to discuss about his medications, Jem and Magnus followed along with Alec.

Magnus helped him move into Syfia’s car while Jem instructed them. Alec thanked them quietly with a blushful face. He was inside of the car sitting, while Magnus and Jem stood beside to chat while waiting for Syfia. Finally, their mother came out of the main door with a packet in her hands. It was relatively huge in Magnus’s eyes and he bet it contained medications indicated for Alec. Dr. Maryse smiled and waved him from the door. Alec smiled as he waved her back.

“Sorry for the wait, guys.” Syfia smiled as she checked her children before she took her place in front passenger seat. Magnus came into the car at the opposite side of Alec. Alan was driving. A feeling of nostalgia whacked everyone but they didn’t say anything at all on the way to home.

***

Alec gulped when they entered their portico again. The car stopped, Magnus jumped out and got his chair from the back storage of the car. He made sure it was ready before Alec used his hands to maneuver himself from the car seat to the wheelchair. He was glad Magnus’s strong hands were there to keep him steady from falling as he was safely seated in his chair again. He started getting nervous as Magnus pushed the wheelchair to the house. Their portico has a ramp beside the stairs now for his wheelchair access. Alec looked up to Syfia with questioned eyes and she smiled softly, placing her hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

“We had a little adjustment in the house.. really, it is nothing much but I want you to be comfortable as much as possible.”

“You don’t have to…” Alec exclaimed. “I- I am sorry, mom.. I appreciate it. I- I feel really bad-“

“Silly, there is nothing to be sorry about. Don’t even worry about it.” Syfia was going to reply something but Magnus cut in. She smiled a little looking at her older son. “If you are just going to apologize, it is going to be a problem.”

Syfia’s smile turned into a shocked one. “Magnus!!!” She scolded her son lightly.

 “Okay…” Alec replied quietly. He tried to hide his sigh without letting others see it.

They walked into the home. Their open spaces are somehow limited in Alec’s eyes. Magnus pushed the wheelchair to the dining room and Alec’s eyes watered a little when he saw the stairs. His room was upstairs.

“Alec… While you were in hospital, we got some men and installed our downstairs with necessary stuffs. I think it would be convenient for you to stay in downstairs.. un- until you recovered.. We have built this room for you. And there is also a bedroom room next to this, in case we need it.” Syfia opened a door beside her. That room was a part of open space previously before he could remember. It was now covered with new walls making a room. It was nicely done as the colours of the three new walls matched with their overall house colour.

Magnus pushed the wheelchair inside. Alec gasped as he looked around. The room was spacious, definitely a little bigger than his old upstairs one, with wardrobes, a queen-sized bed and a study desk stood in the middle of the room. Syfia opened a (not so) small door in the door beside, revealing an attached toilet and shower/bath.

“Mom!” Alec gasped. “You shouldn’t have. This is too much.”

“No. No. It is not too much, Alec. I just want to you get comfortable. These are customized so you don’t have to get so stressed.. At least, one less thing for you to worry about.” She smiled. Alec’s eyes were pricked with tears. He rolled his chair toward her and she leaned in to hug him tightly. “I am sorry, kid.”

Alec shook his head. “No.. No.. don’t even sorry about it, mom.”

“You have to promise you too.” She said and Alec nodded, swallowing the lump built in his throat. It was impossibly hard to... as every minute... seconds… reminded him of how painful and humiliating it was to be in the wheelchair all day, needing help and burdening his adoptive family.

She smiled and patted his cheek gently before she walked out of the room. Alec stared around the room for a while. It was also painted with the same light cream colour as the rest of the bedrooms. The bed looked nice and comfortable with a stack of blankets. She knew he liked blankets a lot that he liked to sleep with three/four blankets in snowy days. On the table, laid his laptop they got for him last year.

“We have already moved your stuffs into this room.” Magnus smiled as he watched him looking around. “There wasn’t even much to move.”

“I have everything I need.” Alec muttered as he turned himself around to face him. “I actually have more than I deserve.”

Magnus smiled at his answer. _What a contented kid._

“You will have more.” He replied. “You obviously don’t have enough glittery things. You don’t have any at all.”

Alec chuckled at that and for that moment, he felt his chest was lighter. The door opened again and Alan came in, opening the door for the lady as followed by Syfia carrying a beautiful cake in her hand.

“Here is to our youngest kid in the house to welcome back home.” She beamed as she placed the cake near a table beside Alec.

“Thank you, mom.” Alec blushed fiercely. “Thank you for everything you have done for me.”

“No, thank you, for everything you have done for me, baby.” She smiled.

Magnus grabbed his guitar he had already placed beside him, taking a proper seat on the desk as he sang. Alec blushed but he smiled as he listened to the older man’s beautiful voice.

 _"You're not alone_  
_Together we stand_  
_I'll be by your side_  
_You know I'll take your hand_  
_When it gets cold_

 _And it feels like the end_  
_There's no place to go_  
_You know I won't give in_  
_No, I won't give in_

 _Keep holding on_  
_'Cause you know we'll make it through_  
_We'll make it through_  
_Just stay strong_  
_'Cause you know I'm here for you_  
_I'm here for you_

  
_There's nothing you could say_  
_Nothing you could do_  
_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_  
_So keep holding on_  
_'Cause you know we'll make it through_  
_We'll make it through."_

 

With the last draw on the guitar strings, Magnus looked at Alec and his mother. Both of them are staring at him with awe and cheered when he ended his song. “We meant every word, Alec. We will be here with you always and through everything. ” Magnus promised at Alec. Alec turned his face away, rubbed his cheek to the fabric of his tshirt shoulder, wiping away the tears forcefully falling down on his cheek.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Hope you enjoy it, dear. Next week, we are meeting his new nurse. *winks*  
> I will see you soon. <3 <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, loveliess.  
> Here is another chapter for you.  
> These days, all I could think about is this fic.  
> I have been researching a lot for this. xD
> 
> Just drawing back to the age timeline,  
> Alec is 16 now( but reached 17 in fact in his original age as the Lightwoods celebrated his birthday in the hospital).  
> Magnus is 22 now. (6 years older than him and now an adult.)  
> Jace is 14, Izzy is 13 and Max is 8. ( mentioned in chapter 6!)
> 
> I would say this has reached around in the mid of my fic?  
> For now may be full of angst but I hope I made a good fic when I wrap it all up.  
> I am kinda excited and sad about it. <3 <3 
> 
> I don't mean to offend anyone. Forgive me if I ever do so. <3 <3  
> Nevertheless, I hope you will enjoy this.
> 
> ***

***

 

“Alec, Get some rest.. Get used to your new room and we will get you for lunch, okay? Mom gonna go make the food.” said Syfia as she planted a kiss on his cheek before she walked out with a smile. Alec smiled faded after she was gone, but Magnus just got up from the table he was sitting on and moved onto the edge of the bed, his hand gesturing to get Alec closer. Alec did, rolled his wheelchair in front of Magnus.

“How are you feeling, Alec?” he asked in worry.

“Um.. what shall I start? Nervous? Guilty? Anxious? Ashamed?” Alec replied, slightly shocked at himself for those words coming out of his mouth. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“Magnus held up one finger to stop him, his warm brown eyes staring at him sharply. “There is one thing you should know that you shouldn’t feel any of those.”

“Magnus, I-”

“You saved Mom’s life. If you hadn’t, I don’t know if she would still be here. I don’t know if we will be okay like this. You sacrificed yourself to save her. Now it is our turn to help you with everything.”

Alec bowed his head down, blinking away his tears as fast as possible. “I don’t want to be a burden… anymore than I already was.”

“You never were.” Magnus reassured, placing his hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it. “We are very thankful to you, Alec. We will do whatever we can to make you better. One day, to help you walk again.”

Alec nodded, wondering if it would be too hopeful to think he actually would be able to walk again.. Until when? He asked himself. The answer was not found.

“Just take some rest and let your injury heal first. We will think of other things later, okay?” Magnus said with a smile. “Do you need any help?”

Alec shook his head. Magnus got up from the bed he was sitting.

“By the way, we got your necklace to this room too. It is in your Superman box under the upper drawer beside the bed.” Alec smiled faintly, nodding a couple of time and watching his back as the elder one got up and left the room.

He tried to get to the bed as close as possible before he threw himself to it with the support of his hands and body. He landed on the bed, moving up to the pillows and positioned his legs to properly lay down on the bed. He pulled the drawer beside the table, pulling out his Superman box which he got from his early days given by Syfia as a present when he was sick. Alec loved it so much that he usually stayed in his room, holding the box in his free time. Syfia had suggested that he should place his precious things in the box as it was protected by the superman logo.

Alec smiled at the memory and he opened the lid, revealing his childhood precious things. He didn’t take them out as often as when he was a child but they were still his favourites. There were his necklace, a glittery skull keychain from Magnus, a broken Tamagotchi which wouldn’t turn on anymore, a few stamps he really liked that he asked them from Syfia, some miniature cars and soldiers. Alec took out the necklace, holding onto it as if he clung onto it for life.

The tears started welling down again and he let them fall down this time. He held onto his necklace and sobbed as he was finally alone in the house he used to live and wondered around. The past six years with Mom and Magnus were great. She was kind, Magnus was okay. She would always take care of him, she loved him as her son and she still did but there were some thoughts inside of him that he was troubling them. It reminded him about the life in the streets and it made him sadder as he curled his body as much as he could and broke down crying. Maybe his real parents didn’t want him that they left him on the street. Maybe Syfia and Magnus wouldn’t want him in the future too but they would just keep him out of pity and kindness.

He realized he cried so much that he was choking on his own sobs. He tried to control his breathing, calm himself down along the way and ended up in falling into sleep in the process. 

***

Two hours later,

When Syfia first knocked the door, there wasn’t any reply. She tried again, waited for a while but her worries claimed her that she twisted the knock bulb and entered by herself. There, she found Alec sleeping soundly. Alec had been sleeping quiet often after the accident as his body was weakened and he got tired easily. Syfia sighed and closed back the door quietly as she left the room.

***

In the late evening after an hour later, she had to wake him up as she couldn’t let him sleep for too long. She shook his shoulder gently and Alec’s eyes blinked open and wiped his mouth with his palm.

“I fell asleep.” He murmured, confused.

“Yes, you did! I came earlier for lunch but you were sleeping so peacefully so I thought I would let you get some rest. But now, I have to. You have to eat something, Son.” She replied, brushing his hair away from his eyes gently with her fingers.

“I am sorry. I am up.” He smiled and stretched. Syfia frowned at the apology. Alec had been saying it quite often and she wasn’t sure it became a habitual thing or he was just saying as it was. For now, she decided to let it go.

“C’mon, baby. We made your favourite stew with rice. Hopefully, this would bring your appetite back.”

Alec moved to the edge of the bed and she brought the chair nearer to him. Alec grabbed on the handrail as he moved himself from the bed to the chair with some difficulties. She wanted to help but Alec didn’t want her to. She just swallowed the lump in her throat as he positioned his legs in place on the footing steps of the wheelchair.

“Shall I help you to the kitchen, baby? She offered, knowing Alec would reject immediately.

“No, mom. I think I want to do it myself. If you spoil me all the time, my hands will get paralyzed too.” He tried to joke but failed. She sighed as she followed her youngest son to the dining table.

“Have you had your lunch too?” he asked when they passed through the living room.

“Yes, we did earlier. Magus had to go somewhere so we decided to have it first.” Alec nodded. She brought out the food again. The stew was actually delicious that he enjoyed it so much. His mom was accompanying beside him with a cup of fruity tea in her hand. He wanted to take the plates to the sink but she took them, saying he could do it next time but this time but this time, he should just wait in the living room as they were waiting for someone. With confusion, Alec rolled his chair to the living room.

At four o’ clock in the late evening, the bell rang and they both got to the door. There was a man in his mid-thirties, with curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes, wearing a black sweater with comfortable long jeans. He greeted Syfia cheerfully and shook her hands. Syfia returned the favour with a smile.

“Thank you for coming, Mr. Underhill.”

“It is no problem at all, Mrs. Bane. It is my job.” He smiled and Alec frowned between the interactions between them. The man tended to him and smiled as he handed out his hand to Alec. Alec stared at him as he took his hand. That man made a strong grip.

“My name is John Underhill. Please to meet you. You must be Alec. I am a nurse assigned by the hospital to help you.”

Alec frowned. “Mom, I don’t need a nurse.”

“Alec, don’t worry. This gentleman is just here to take care of you professionally. We can take care of you full time but in terms of medications and routines, we need expert’s help.”

“Mom!”

Underhill looked at Syfia before he approached to Alec. “Look, I am here to make sure you are comfortable and adjusted to the injury, okay? I am here to tell you about the daily life today, tomorrow and a few days straight until you get used to it. Then, my visit will be changed from once a week to once every two weeks and every once every three weeks. You just got recovered. I promise it will be less frequent if you get better. It is only part time.” Underhill looked at him in reassuring eyes.

Alec nodded half-heartedly. He was angry and not pleased with whatever it was but he felt like he had no choice.

So two hours after meeting Underhill, Alec found out Underhill was a relaxed, easy-going man with helpful suggestions. He seemed strict with certain rules like making Alec do things by himself as much as possible ( He asked Syfia not to help him as much anymore.) but as long as Alec listened to him, he thought he would be fine. After taking his time to get to know him, Underhill studied his injury again and some process of his leg examination. He came up with teaching Alec how to move from the chair to the bed, and from the bed to the chair again in a more convenient way and Alec found it was easier. He was helpful with advices and he praised his family for making a paraplegic friendly room for Alec to access. Alec didn’t like meeting a new person at first, but he was nice and he felt like he could trust him.

***

The next morning, Alec was wakened up gently by his mom again. He frowned trying to curl his body and pulling his blanket to sleep but Syfia chuckled as she gently shook his shoulder. He gave in, opening his eyes in gloom.

“Wake up, Sunshine. It’s time for breakfast.” She smiled. “And Mr.Underhill is already here.”

_Sunshine…?_ He doubted if he was. And he sighed when his mom mentioned about his nurse. It was more convenient and better as he taught him but it was still embarrassing to him. Alec sat up and hopped to the wheelchair beside him as he was taught and he got on easier than yesterday that he tried by himself. He rolled to the bathroom, moved to the seat in the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash up. It was definitely convenient. It was designed to, supposedly.

After he had washed up and cleaned, he rolled down to the dining table. He saw Underhill at their living room sofa, surfing through a magazine. He smiled and greeted him as he saw Alec. Alec was tempted not to reply anything but muttered out a _Good Morning_ anyway.

At their dining room, Alec found Syfia preparing breakfast for him and met his eyes as she looked up. She smiled and Alec opened his arms as a gesture for a hug and she leaned in, wrapping her arms around his body tightly. It was a great way to start his first day at home journey. In the midst of his breakfast meal, Syfia placed a small plastic cup containing his pills beside of his plate. The pills weren’t a few and Alec’s shoulder slumped to the sight. She smiled gently as she put her hands on his shoulder and gently squeezed it. Alec smiled a little, nodding as he understood. When his plate was finished, he grabbed the cup with a sigh and gulped it in one go, swallowing down with some water. Alec made a face as some pills touched his taste buds.

“Ugh, it is terrible.” Alec grimaced jokingly. “Okay, trying to swallow them down in one go is a terrible idea.”

Syfia giggled, her face broke into a pretty laugh as she ruffled his hair gently. “Perhaps, you should chill, baby. No one is chasing you to take them all down.”

Alec laughed and put his plate on his lap to roll down to the sink. Syfia stood there and watched him, as told by Underhill that he had to be left alone in some simple tasks. Alec washed his plate without any difficulty and placed them back to the cabinet where the plates were stored. He rolled back to Syfia with a grin and she smiled proudly.

“Good job, Son.” She smiled. “Well done in those baby steps. I am so proud of you.”

Alec grinned and blushed furiously. He murmured something inaudible and hugged her waist again which she didn’t catch but she doubted he would say it again. She decided to try anyway while she returned his hug.

“I didn’t catch that, baby.” She said softly.

“I said I love you, mom.” Alec muttered out quietly which made her day.

“Oh, Alec. I love you too, baby.” She placed a soft kiss on his temple. “Okay, I have to hand you to Mr.Underhill for now. I will be back for lunch, okay?”

Alec nodded and turned himself to Underhill. He was standing just behind him with a gentle caring smile on. “Hi, Alec. Ready for your day 2 lessons?” He asked.

Alec wanted to shrug but told himself _No._

“Sure.” He replied simply.

“Great. Let’s head back to your room, shall we? I have some stuffs to tell you. Then we are going to the garden.”

_Garden? Outside again…_ Alec sighed as he rolled his wheelchair to the room. Today seemed like it was gonna be long.

***

Underhill told him about his medications, explaining about what they did and when he should take them with every bottles and it took a long time that pretty much bored him. He was shocked by the amount of pills he was on though. He only remembered a few well but he said not to worry as his mom and he will be monitoring Alec’s medicines. So far, he knew painkiller bottles, some sleeping pills and some cure for dizziness/light-headedness.

Just after they had wrapped up their medications session, Syfia came to call them for lunch as she just got back from outside. Underhill joined in gratefully in lunch as three of them dined in together. Alec hadn’t seen Magnus since last night so he asked Syfia about him.

“Magnus went out early in the morning, Baby.” She replied. “He said he had to meet with his friends he hadn’t seen them for so long.”

Alec nodded with a smile. “Of course.” He said, taking a bite of his broiled chicken. Magnus might have been missing out in his life for so long. He deserved that.

Just after that, Alec had an inner meltdown. He wanted to see Magnus. He wanted Syfia and Magnus to be at home, he wasn’t sure, but he just wanted them to be around where he could see them. He wanted to see them walking around the house, doing chores, or maybe his mom watching some kind of reality television shows and Magnus sketching something lazily with his sketchbook on their couch. He wasn’t sure he was getting clingy or emotional over something. He was struck with a nurse and Magnus was out. He wanted him to be at home.

Reality hit and Alec gulped some water to cool himself down. It wasn’t just fair and he had no right to be feeling that way. However, he couldn’t help it. He felt scared, lonely and small. He needed his family to be here with him. It was such a small matter and he was making a big deal again. It was a heavy feeling in his chest that his appetite had disappeared. He placed back his fork and spoon back in his plate.

“I am done.” Alec said. “Can we not go to the garden now? I feel tired.”

Underhill looked up. “Of course.” He replied with an understanding smile. “Maybe after your nap or something. We will just see.”

Alec nodded and rolled away to the sink for his dishes. Both of the adults caught the change in Alec’s mood and looked at each other.  

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Hopefully, I can update next chapter in a few days.  
> See you at the next chapter and take care. <3 
> 
> Fun fact***  
> Initial caretaker for Alec was Sebastian.  
> But I am so happy there is Underhill to take care of him.  
> I felt like he suited the role more, protective, kind and carign to Alec.   
> With the age difference in this fic, he will be like an uncle or an older brother to him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii.  
> Here is another chapter update.  
> I have an assignment submission this week but please do expect another chapter in next week.  
> I will try to update asap. :D φ(ﾟ ωﾟ//）♡
> 
> Thank you for reading, sweethearts. ♡♡♡
> 
> ***

***

 

Alec stayed in the bed after the meltdown, curled up and lay facing his back to the door with his eyes closed so he wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. No one was going to bring him outside.. Especially a nurse- a stranger he just met yesterday…. Not today…

Underhill left the room quietly after helping Alec to the bed, knowing Alec didn’t want to communicate and wanted alone time. He looked over to the figure lying to the side on the bed before he closed the door. Syfia was just in front of him.

“Will he be okay?” She asked worriedly. “My child had been so sad after the accident.

“He needs time but I hope he will come around.” Underhill smiled. “Mrs. Bane, if you don’t mind, there are some things I need to discuss with you about his medications. Shall we talk in the Living room?”

“Please.” She said as she walked to the living room, leading the way. It was the last thing Alec had heard before he fell into sleep.

***

Next time when Alec woke up, it was already late evening. He heard the cooking sounds from the kitchen so he knew it was almost dinner time. Then, there were laughters... happy laughters from there. Syfia and Magnus in the kitchen.. happy together.. and he was on the bed, sleeping off… missing out with his adoptive mother and brother. He tried to keep the jealousy inside and everything was upsetting him.

He sat up from the bed, moved his body to the edge of the bed to transfer himself to the chair. He grabbed the handle firmly with one hand and used his other hand to lift his body from the bed. There might have been some mistakes... or the gap from the bed to the chair might have been too large. The wheel slipped from his hand, moved behind a little and he fell- to the floor.

Alec groaned with his hand gripping on the bedsheet as sharp pain stabbed his back just after he had landed the floor on his butt. It hurt so much that stung his eyes but he refused to cry, blinking away the unfallen tears and tried to breathe through the pain. After a few minutes, it was gone and Alec leaned his head to the bed tiredly with a relief. He had just woken up and the troubles had begun.

He heard two knocks on the door and Magnus came in, smiling, with his flashy black and purple outfit, with silver accessories and subtle purple streaks in his hair. He stared at Alec sitting on the floor and frowned as he rushed close by.

“What are you doing?”

“I fell.” Alec bit his lips.

“fell? How even?”

“The stupid chair shifted back when I tried to move from the bed.”

“Oh god..” A hint of troubled worried expression flashed on Magnus’s face and he tried to help him up back to the chair. Right now, Alec hated his chair. He was angry at it for moving. It was totally not his fault, definitely not from neglecting what Underhill had told much before he moved despite many of his warnings. It decided to move on its own. It hated him.

“There is a brake. You should always make sure you had lock on before you move. I should tell your nurse about the transferring problem.” Magnus said as he seated Alec as gently as he could back to the chair. Alec snorted at being seated back again because it had made him fall down earlier. _Stupid chair… wasn’t there for him when he fell down... Literally._

“I know. He had already taught me about that. I wasn’t so careful this time.” Alec explained back.

Magnus just let out an ‘Oh..”.

“You have met him?”

“Yea, earlier. He was talking about the medicines and stuffs when I came back. He had left now though. It’s already six fourty five.”

“Oh...” Alec replied. _Good..._ He didn’t have to deal with it today anymore.

 “C’mon, kid. It is time for dinner.” Magnus said, cheerfully... a rather too cheerfully to Alec’s liking right now but with his look and a handsome face like this, he could brush off anything.

“I am not a kid.” Alec sighed. “I am 17, which is almost like an adult.”

Magnus rolled his eyes at that. “Look, I am 22 and I still don’t consider myself as an adult. A kid like you shouldn’t be saying that.” He laughed, making a corner’s of Alec’s lip twitched.

“Where were you yesterday?” he asked, his eyes drifting down away from him and his hands reaching out for the wheels.

“Oh, I went to school and met with my old Highschool classmates. This is our union day.” Magnus replied. “Did you miss me?” He teased.

_He did. He did miss him when he wasn’t there._

_He missed him when he hadn’t seen him for a day and a half._

“Pffff.” Alec looked up. “What’s for dinner today?” He joked by changing the direction. Magnus deadpanned at that.

“Seafood fried rice. And you know you are one mean kid?” He squinted his eyes towards him and Alec smirked to himself.

“Great. My favourite.” He replied as he started rolling to the door. Magnus reached there first, opening the door for him.

***

They talked during the dinner about their days. Syfia went to their company first to check up with business matters in the morning and came back in the noon with grocery shopping, Magnus went out for his union day at previous Highschool after 6 years of Highschool completion, meeting with his old classmates and everything. Alec listened to both of them. He didn’t have much to talk about- his day or his life. His day? He slept off the whole afternoon since lunch and his life-? He didn’t go to highschool... He was homeschooled. But watching Magnus and Syfia laughing made him incredibly happy and he enjoyed that for this moment.

 After the dinner, he was going to do his dish by himself but Magnus casually picked up along with Syfia’s and other dishes. Alec was going to protest but he waved it off casually as it was his day of doing dishes. He felt guilty when his plates were taken from him so he stayed beside him. It was slightly awkward but he wouldn’t want to stay unhelpful in the living room alone by himself when others were actually doing works.

Alec held the plates in his hand while Magnus placed them back to the cabinet neatly. Alec’s eyes wondered and spotted a jar of jelly bean near the top cabinet. It was his jar. He got it as a graduation present along with others when he got his exam results. Syfia was switching channels in the living room and they were all going to watch something together. He would like to eat it during the show whatever their mom had chosen.

“Magnus, can you help me take that Jelly bean jar in the top cabinet?” Alec asked when Magnus took the last plate from his hand to the cabinet.

“No.” Magnus replied with a smirk while he wiped away the water on his hands with a towel nearby. He was too used to teasing him.

“Fine.” Alec grumbled. The top cabinet wasn’t so high. He hoped to reach it with his hand so he tried. He needed only a little more inches so he straightened his back and reached for it.

A similar pain arrived from his back again as he felt himself dropped to the chair. Alec bit his lips not to let out any whine. Magnus turned his self back to Alec to actually help him bring down his jar but widened his eyes when he saw Alec was reaching for it/fell back to the chair.

“Alec, you okay?” Magnus kneeled beside his chair, worried. He looked away from Magnus as he didn’t want him to see any tear( he didn’t know if he had tears or not but he wasn’t willing to take any chances). “Oh my god. For a second, Alec. Only for a second. You should wait for me…”

“You said _No_!” Alec gritted his teeth from the pain. He tried to breathe through but it was going away slowly, finally catching back his breath and courage to look at Magnus.

_Magnus was kneeling beside his chair with the jar he wanted, looking at him with worries to see if he was alright. Alec was almost stunned with the close-up of his adoptive brother- that beautiful man. His eyes were very captivating.. and he felt an awkward attracted moment towards him.._

“I am sorry.” Magnus said. “I was too used to saying _No_ as a joke with my friends.” He replied sincerely that Alec was astounded. He wasn’t expecting any apologies.

_Was he even the Magnus he ever knew?_

“But you gotta know I will always help you. So just be a little patient.”

Alec couldn’t help but stared at his warm brown cat eyes, framed by black glittery eyeliner and he was staring at him back. Magnus gently reached out to brush away the messy lock of hair on his forehead to look at him better and his hand reached down, gently stroking his cheek. For that second, Alec had scared if he would see the tears(if he had any) and made him feel bad.

“Here is your Jelly bean.” Magnus placed the jar on Alec’s lap before he got up. “C’mon. Mom is waiting.” He whispered hoarsely.

***

During the show they were watching, the environment was chilled. Syfia, Magnus and Alec ate cut fruits, popcorns and of course, his jelly beans together, laughing and discussing about what was going on with the shows. They watched a sci-fi serie first, a cake battle later and Magnus’s favourite project runaway. Alec felt uncomfortable sensation from his back during the mid of an earlier sci-fi serie but he decided to shove it off, hoping it would eventually disappear away. But just after the cake battle serie, his back pain was becoming stronger every second and he couldn’t watch the project runaway anymore. He felt sweat hanging from his back and he knew it was time he had to retreat back to his room.

“I- I am going back to my room to sleep. Good Night..” He mumbled.

Magnus turned his head to him first with a frown. “You never watch my favourite show.”

“It- it’s not that. I can’t.. I am sleepy.” Alec tried to explain.

Magnus huffed and turned his head back to the Tv. Syfia frowned and hit his shoulder lightly with a disapproving look.

“Okay, baby. Good Night. Do you want me to help you to the bed?” She asked, getting up from her couch so she could kiss his forehead. Alec smiled and shook his head.

“No need, mom. I can help myself.” He grinned and kissed her cheek. “Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams to you too, baby. I love you.” She smiled and Alec rolled away.

He threw himself back to the bed, and huffed as the pain did not disappear. He tried lying still for a while but it didn’t help at all so he frantically reached out for his bedside cabinet, searching for the pill bottles that he remembered. Underhill told him what the painkillers were and where he stored them. He opened the bottle, dropped some in his hand and swallowed down with some water. He didn’t know how much he had just taken. He lay still for a while and the medicines started showing effects as the pain disappeared. He felt drowsy later and fell asleep. _So that was how a painkiller works._

_***_

The next morning when Underhill came by again, Syfia have to wake Alec up. As she walked into his room, she found her youngest son was curling up as much as he could and seemed like his breathing was a little hard. She realized something was wrong and rushed to his bed side, touching his forehead with her palm. He was hot - burning up with a fever.

“Alec.. oh my god.. Alec…”She shook his shoulder gently to wake him up. Alec whined as his eyelashes flustered to open.

“M-Mom?” He gulped, shocked by his hoarse voice. His throat felt like it was scorched.

“Alec, baby.. You are having a fever.” She said in worry and moved to the side when Underhill rushed in. He touched his forehead and face, taking out a thermometer and a scope from the drawer to check him. _101.4 Degree Fahrenheit..._ Alec was definitely having a fever.

Underhill tried to move him on his back, which Alec moaned painfully to it. He realized and turned gently to the side, moved his pajamas shirt to reveal some red swollen spots on his back around his injury scars.

“Did you hurt yourself yesterday, Alec?” he asked as he pressed gently on one swollen part. Alec gasped and shivered as he curled up more from the pain.

“It hurts! Stop touching me.” Alec whimpered. “I- I fell from the bed yesterday evening.”

“Oh god..” Syfia covered her mouth with her shaken hands. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier, Alec?”

“I didn’t think it was important, mom. I didn’t want to cause trouble. It didn’t hurt in the evening.” Alec gritted his teeth as Underhill touched his back to examine again. _Gosh, please stop touching him…_

“It was a bit swollen.” Underhill said. “Of course, it might not be troubling you immediately but you should tell us asap. What if you dislocated your spine?”

For that moment, he was filled with rage at Underhill and wanted to stab him.

“Shall I call an ambulance?” asked Syfia immediately.

“NO! Please, mom.. Please, don’t call.” Alec huffed out. He was better enough to focus as the nurse had stopped touching his back and he was given enough recovery time to talk.

“I think we can help him at home. He needs to take some meds and stay in the bed for sometimes, maybe a day or two. Depends on how well you get, Alec.” Underhill told them and Alec tried himself not to roll his eyes again. He just nodded.

“I will get your breakfast in bed, baby.. okay? Then, we will help you change your clothes. Eat your breakfast, take med and just rest.” She kissed his temple gently.

“Sorry about this, mom..” Alec closed his eyes to appreciate the kiss and mumbled shyly.

She shook her head, “You need to stop saying sorry, Son. ” She replied as she pushed his hair away from his sweaty forehead. Alec didn’t reply but kept his soft smile. “I love you, Alec.” She leaned onto kiss his forehead before she got up again.

Underhill and Syfia went out to get the medicines and breakfast. Magnus who had been standing by the door the whole time came by beside him.

“Hey..”

“Hey….” Alec replied, his face hiding his blush as he was flushed with fever.

“You still tried to reach out even when you hurt yourself.”

 “I didn’t know it would get serious.” Alec sighed. “I don’t want to be troublesome.”

Magnus sat on the bed beside of him. “You are not. But this is like early period of your recovery, Alec. I think we need to be careful more about you. You should be more careful.”

Alec groaned and pulled up his blanket when he felt a shiver running down from his spine.

“Need more blanket??” Magnus eyed him. They were warned the spinal injury could cause his body temperature regulation lower and he would have the tendency to cause him to feel colder than a normal person would.

Alec nodded. “Please.”

Magnus took out two blankets and a new pajamas shirt from the wardrobe. He came back with them, helped him took off the sweaty one and changed into a new shirt before he  covered Alec up with a blanket, placing the other one as an extra beside him. “I will help you with that one when you felt colder. See if you are enough with this one.”

He nodded under the blanket. “Thank you.”

Syfia came back with a tray of his breakfast, porridge, some eggs and a glass of milk. After his breakfast, Underhill had given some( actually, a lot ) pills and two injections-which he held onto Magnus’s hand tightly during it- and stayed in bed all days, mostly sleeping from the medications. Magnus stayed by him quietly until he had completely fallen asleep, stared at his adoptive younger brother and couldn’t help but his mind leaning onto him, telling himself he needed to take care of the boy and make him happy. He sighed as he took one last look at the sleeping boy before he left Alec’s room for his room upstairs. 

***

Alec woke up with burns in his back. He had fallen asleep from the evening just after he had early dinner. He gulped and looked at the bedside clock to see it was already midnight. He reached out to the drawer, took out the painkiller bottle he remembered and swallowed down a few pills with some water. He lay back tiredly, staring at the ceiling wincing at the burning pain in the back. He wondered how much he would have to endure... and how long he would have to. Would it go away in time? Would he get better if he just hanged in there enduring all the pain, self-hatred and self-humiliating feelings in his heart? He lay in the dark and shivered from the coldness so he pulled up the blankets. For now, the room was cold and blinding dark… just like what he imagined what his future would be...

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Thank you for reading. Please do leave a comment.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii, lovelies.  
> Here is another chapter for you.  
> I said I would update in this week and I kept my promise. hahaha.  
> I wanted to update it in Tuesday/Wednesday but I had a surprise presentation on Wed so hence, it was dragged to Thursday/Friday.  
> Nevertheless, I hope you will enjoy it.
> 
> //And I apologize for any triggers mention in advance.  
> This is becoming like heavy angst so yea.. :')
> 
> ***

***

 

Alec woke up being sore but his fever went down. He had to stay down for a few days more for it. During the past few days, Syfia came and fed him in bed, Underhill took care of him and Magnus was there to watch him and chat. It was kinda frustrating how much he needed help so he tried to stay calm, get better quickly and be less trouble for them. Underhill was there most of the time, from 9 to 5, and Alec sighed to himself that he wouldn’t be leaving pretty much soon. The earlier plan they had talked about would be postponed until he was ready to be left alone but they decided he wasn’t, yet. So Alec swallowed up, let others help him and held back his snaps and angry tears as much as possible. He became numb to his internal struggles and used to the helps as they weren’t the first time anymore.   

Two days after his fever, Underhill suggested that they would go in the garden. Alec groaned in bed but agreed anyway since Underhill had helped him earlier with his tantrum requests. It felt wrong and bad to say no when he just endured his snap. He helped him on the wheelchair, made sure he was comfortable and pushed it to the garden. Alec felt so tired since his transfer to the wheelchair and felt he was almost passed out as they passed from his room to the living room and to the patio. As the sun hit him outside, he straightened up his hand to see he had been so pale and his arms got smaller. Alec sighed and Underhill stopped in a shady place.

 “We will have to start on physical therapy later.” Underhill commented. “But right now, we have to make sure you are healthy and strong again.” His ruffled Alec’s messy black hair and Alec tried to move away but couldn’t, murmuring complaints as he tried to dodge.

They heard the sounds of clear throat and Magnus walked into the view quickly as he approached them. He stared at Underhill and crouched down beside Alec. He smiled at him and Alec returned a small and shy one.

“Good to see you out, Kid.” He teased.

“Trust me. It wasn’t my choice.” Alec replied with half-laugh. Magnus gently stroke his cheek and grinned. “Thank you, Mr. Underhill. I think I can take it from here accompanying Alec.” He turned his face to the nurse standing beside them and waiting for them.

Underhill shrugged. “I will be a call away if you need anything.” He told them as he took his seat a few meters away from them and took out his phone.

“How are you feeling today, Alec?” Magnus asked as he took a seat on a bench near his chair.

“Good, I guess. And how about you?” Alec asked back but Magnus shrugged his shoulder.

“Fine.. as usual.” He replied.

“Are you going out soon?”

“No.I just came back from meeting a friend.” Magnus put his hands in his pocket of the pants.

 _A friend? A woman? A man?_ Well, doesn’t matter because Magnus swings both ways.

They chatted for a while. Then, Magnus insisted they would look around the garden for a while before they get back inside. Magnus wanted to push the wheelchair and Alec tried to protest but gave into him with a facepalm. He was blushing with his lips pressed together as Magnus scrolled through the garden.

“So how is the ride going?” Magnus grinned. Alec hid his face in his palms shyly.

“Extremely embarrassing. Especially when you are pushing it.”

“But why?” Magnus laughed. “You are getting the first class service by Captain Magnus Bane. If you look to your left, there are mom’s favourite orchids and to your right, there are Perfume roses of all kinds, also her favourites.”

Alec groaned and his face dug into his palms deeper. Magnus’s hands reached to his head and ruffled his head fondly. Alec tried to move away but he couldn’t get away easily so he pouted. Magnus’s wide grin turned to a fond smile as his fingers ran through Alec’s soft and long hair. He didn’t realize he kept running through the soft raven hair quite a few times.

“Your hair is getting long.”

“Yeah, might as well keep the 90s look.”

“Haha.  Your sarcasm definitely needs some room for improvement.”

“What about my hair? Well, it’s been like six months since I last cut it so..”

“I will tell mom to cut it tonight.”

“You don’t like my long hair?”

“I think you look great with short hair. Long hair needs more care.”

Alec hummed as an agreement. He just didn’t mind about it. Long hair was the least of his worries for the past few months.

“so it is a yes.”

“Unn hmm..”

“You are agreeing to this..”

“Is there a problem?” Alec turned his head to Magnus who was standing tall with a confused expression behind him. “I mean.. since we have more time to ourselves now. It is not like I have anything to do. I am not busy. ”

Magnus nodded. “Well, you will be. You will see later.”

“I doubt.” Alec huffed. They reached back to where Underhill was sitting and the older men decided that it was time to go inside. Again, Alec didn’t have to roll his chair because there were two people caring about him and they both insisted they would help him.

***                                                                                                                                                 

Alec was watching a thriller movie with popcorns and jelly beans in his hands when Syfia’s car came back from her company. She stepped out of the car gracefully and walked towards him with a smile on her face as soon as she saw him.

 “How is my baby doing?” She hugged him tightly and pressed her lips to his temple gently. Alec grinned and returned her hug but tried not to touch her with his buttery sugary fingers so the sweet residues wouldn’t touch her expensive silk clothes.

“Great. How are you, mom? How was the meeting?”

“Great. But same old. Some shareholders fought with each other. I told them to take it outside.” She rolled her eyes and grinned. “I get to show them who the boss is.” Alec smiled with the thought of their kind and gentle mom being strict with business partners.

“Where is Magnus?”

“He went upstairs an hour ago. And John went back fifteen minutes ago. He made sure I am comfortable so don’t worry.”

She sat on the sofa beside him and Alec held up his popcorn bowl so she could have some. She got some popcorns as she joined the movie. They comfortably watched it in silence until an alarm in her phone rang. She took out her phone to check what it was and then got up from the seat as she dialed something.

“What Is it?”

“Oh, it is just a reminder, baby. I have to call Dr. Maryse about your physical therapy tomorrow. I will ask if you can skip this week session off, okay? Your fever just went down yesterday.”

Alec nodded with a frown. He would like to skip and get tomorrow off. Actually, he would like to skip all of his therapy off. But he doubted as the rules are of strict Dr. Maryse, he might not be able to skip forever. He watched as Syfia walked a bit to the patio.

“Hii, Maryse. This is Syfia.”

“……………………………….”

“Yes, I know. Actually, I am calling if it will be alright with Alec to go on physical therapy for tomorrow. You see he had a fever a few days ago and it just went down yesterday. I don’t want to tire him out.”

Alec gulped as Syfia listened to what Maryse was saying with a follow-up of nods in between.

“Oh okay then. So it is how it is. I got it. Thank you, Maryse.”

“Yes, then Goodbye. I will see you tomorrow.”

Alec’s heart went heavy on “I will see you tomorrow.”. He was definitely going there tomorrow.

Syfia walked back to the sofa again with an apologetic smile on. “I am sorry, baby. She said she would arrange something and take care of you tomorrow. We are still going.”

“Don’t worry, Mom. It is cool.” Alec forced a smile. It would be his first physical therapy, going back to the hospital after his discharge. So maybe after some of his visits, he would get used to it.

Syfia joined him for a few more minutes before she got up to change her clothes and to prepare dinner. Alec was in the dining room to help her when she had changed to her comfortable home clothes. He shyly asked her if he could help like the old times and her heart melted all over again, saying yes with a kiss on his forehead. She decided to make easy chicken rice and some vegetables which she took care of cutting the meats and handed the vegetables for Alec to cut. Magnus came down a few minutes later and he helped with preparing the dinner table. It was a heartwarming meal for the three of them.

***

After dinner and cleaning up, Alec felt pretty full and went straight to bed, only to be waken up by Syfia again in early morning. Magnus was in the room as well, dressed simply but with makeup.

“You have psychical therapy session in an hour, Alec. We have to go soon.” She whispered as she gently shook his shoulder. Alec pouted as he rubbed his eyes and looked around. It was a pretty nice sleep. He nodded and moved to the edge of the bed with the support of his hand. To the transfer of the wheelchair, Magnus brought it closer to him and pressed the lock before Alec could swing himself to the seat. Alec went to wash up and shower after both of them had left the room. They had a quick cereal bowl with milk and left for the hospital. Magnus helped him to the car and back.

They rolled to the level where Dr. Maryse would be waiting and they found her there, at the therapy room entrance. She greeted Syfia and Magnus with a hug and leaned down for Alec.

“Hi, kid.” She smiled.

_Alec let out a quiet murmur of Hi…_

She put her hand on his forehead to test his temperature. Alec closed his eyes with the touch and it was strangely comforting.

“Hmm. You are still warm. But don’t worry. Today is just intro for your weekly sessions, Alec. And you just recovered. I guess we can take it easy for this week.”

Alec nodded. The three of them talked with Maryse and she spent most of the time explaining about the procedures and their benefits. Then, for the last thirty minutes, he had to try some light workouts as a start. As soon as he was back into their car again two hours later and Syfia had put his seatbelt on, he dozed off until Magnus gently shook him awake.

“Alec!” Magnus grinned. “Hey, we are back home.”

“Oh..” he murmured as he straightened up his back and move to the edge of the seat. Magnus had unfolded his wheelchair ready so he transferred himself with some help from Magnus. He rolled his chair himself to the house without asking anyone else and he felt kinda good about that.

 “Alec, sweetie… I have something to talk with you.” Syfia called out from the entrance to the living room before Alec rolled himself to the room.

“Okay…” Alec gulped but he turned around and came back closer to her. She walked into the living room as well and Magnus just took a seat on the sofa not so far from them.

Alec freaked out a little internally. He wasn’t behaving so well for the past few days, weeks or maybe even months….

“It is about your college, honey. Most of the enrollments are open now. I want you to tell me which kind of field you like? I will help you enroll into any college you like.”

“NO.” Alec’s voice was a little higher in pitch than he would like and his back straightened, his fingers gripping on the handrails of his chair. He was shocked with himself. Syfia stiffened a little and Magnus slightly raised his eyebrows from his seat but didn’t say a thing. “I- I mean.. I don’t want to go to college. It will be a waste of your money. And no, I don’t want to go like this.”

“But Alec, You can’t stay like this. You- you need an education.. a college degree.. and it is for yourself, baby.  ”

“No,mom. I- I don’t want to go. Please, please. Don’t make me go to college.”

“But baby, I want all my sons to get at least one college degree. Magnus has one.. I want you to have one for your future.”

“Well, Magnus didn’t have to go to college like this, did he?” Alec said sadly but kept his stubbornness. “I don’t want to go there. I didn’t even go to school. I did okay with homeschooling. I- I know I am troubling you but-”

“Alec…” Syfia blinked away the tears welling up. “I want you to go to a college because I want some safety and reassurance for your future. Even my life has a limit, baby. I am sure Magnus will take care of you if something were to happen to me. But what if both of us were gone at the same time? What if you are left alone again in this world?!”

“NO!” Alec broke into a sob and rolled away back to his room nearby quickly. Magnus got up to his mom to pull her into a hug and she held onto him tightly as she cried on his shoulder. He rubbed her back gently to comfort her.

“Shhh.. shh… Mom. It is okay.. He will come around. He will understand..” Magnus whispered. She tried to control her tears as much as possible. “It is okay… I will talk to him…”

She broke away from his hug and wiped away the tears. “Please talk to him, Magnus. Please.. please. Mom just want the best for you two. I just want you two to be happy.”

“I know. I will talk to him, Mom.” Magnus kissed her forehead gently as he walked over to Alec’s room. He knocked twice and just unlocked the door when he found there was no answer. He found Alec on the floor of the room’s corner, face hiding on his laps and hugging his knees. The wheelchair was somewhat far away from him which was seemed to be slammed away. And judging by his positon, he must have thrown himself to the floor and pulled himself into it. Magnus sighed as he quietly took his seat on the floor beside him. Alec was crying.

“hey…” He whispered as he gently rubbed the sicker boy’s back. He lost a lot of weights that he almost felt the bones. “It wasn’t very nice when you told mom like that.. She was just worried about you.”

Alec sobbed harder with his face still hidden in his laps. So Magnus continued. “You know she loved you so much? You are like her son since the day she found you.”

“I know…” Magnus was surprised to hear a small and broken reply. “But I don’t want to go, Magnus. It is too much money spending on me. And I don’t think I will be ready to go out.. and everyday… I- I can’t. I am scared of people. I don’t want to see them like this.”

Magnus sighed as he moved his hips closer to the boy. His hand slided from Alec’s back to scoop him closer to him.

“We will manage something.” He promised. “We will manage something…”

A few minutes had passed. Alec was still sobbing but a lot calmer compared to earlier. Magnus’s arm was still hugging him.

“What about distant college? You can study from home.” Magnus murmured as an idea came up. Alec glanced up at him for the first time since he came into the room. His eyes and nose were red and blotchy with tears and where he had pressed on the fabric of his pants.

“what..?” Alec asked again, confused.

“If you don’t like to meet with people, we can arrange and enroll you in online degree courses. I think it is a good idea.”

“Yea..” Alec smiled a little in replying.

“Yeah?” Magnus grinned. “I will talk with mom about it. Now, Mister, what you are going to do is to go to mom and apologize.”

Alec nodded. Magnus got up and grabbed his chair close to him again. Alec got up and took his seat before he rolled to the entrance.

Magnus followed him but from quite a distance to give them space. Alec stopped in the living room where Syfia was still waiting for them in the same very spot.

“Mom…” He called out with a shaky and scared voice… “I’m sorry. I am sorry I acted that way earlier. The truth is I love you and I don’t like to think of you being gone. I didn’t want to hear it.”

Fresh tears fell onto his eyes and Syfia quickly walked closer to him, hugging him tightly.

“Don’t even worry about it, kid. I love you, you know that.” She sniffled.

“I don’t think I want to survive if both of you are gone.” Alec whispered quietly and Syfia’s eyes went wide.

“Don’t say that!” She scolded him. He reached up to her hands and kissed them softly before he rested them on his cheeks.

“I am sorry..” He whispered. “I love you guys. And I don’t think I am ready to meet with new people and adapt to it. Magnus told me about online university courses earlier. Can I take them instead, mom?”

She smiled. “I think we can manage that.” She wiped away the tears on his cheeks again before she pulled him into a tight hug again.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> So, I hope you enjoyed that. See you in next chapter.  
> Please do leave a comment! <3 <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii, Lovelies.   
> I am so sorry this update took a little long. I had continuous assignment submissions and then rushed to internship(6days a week) plus moving house so I couldn't write any last month. Just settled into new home and hopefully update regularly again. Man, adulting is quite hard.. :D  
> I am so so grateful to you guys who have been on his journey so far. I hope you like it and look forward to the next chapters. :D 
> 
> Excuse my typos if you find any, btw.. :D 
> 
> ***

***

 

He tried to be happy. But remembering his legs were as good as dead, sadness just overwhelmed him whole. He tried not to be upset about it. But occasional pain and sleepless nights reminded him over and over again that he would never be better. At night, he would lie in bed and stared at the ceiling blankly. At mornings, he would see Syfia or Magnus coming in with a smile and the pain and suffering throughout the night felt like nothing again. He was loved. He was very much cared. He shouldn’t let his emotion gets better of himself and hurt his family during outbursts. He’d go to therapy and exercises, tried to be happier and be a good kid, grateful about being alive and living with an amazing family. But deep down, he wished the pain would stop, and he’d be at peace.   

Seeing Alec getting more active, Magnus wanted to bring him to outside for more activities, for example, for a walk to the park, which Alec had denied with a mocking voice “I can’t.. You know I can’t. Obviously.” As Magnus thought of a protest or a reasonable reply, Alec strolled away from him quickly, letting a single sob out only in his room as he locked the door.  

The next day, when Underhill had left, Magnus and he had gathered up for making dinner. Syfia was stuck in a business meeting and they were going to make dinner for her. Alec was going to help. But then, with an exasperated sigh, Magnus yelled out they didn’t have enough in their fridge and insisted that they would go to a grocery store.

“Magnus.. There has to be something...” Alec sighed with a frown. “The fridge is half full as it is. Chicken? I remembered mom bought some the day before.”

“They don’t go well with the dish I am making. I need some prawns.” Magnus replied as he shook his head like a child stubbornly.

“I- um…..”

“We are also out of milk for breakfast. Why not get them in one go.”

“O-Okay… Then, I will wait here I guess. I will watch the rice cooker.” Alec replied, slumped and defeated. He could never win over Magnus. No one could win over Magnus when he had already set his mind.

“Oh no.. I can’t leave you alone in the house. It is too dangerous.” Magnus replied.

Alec’s eyes were widened. “No. I will be fine. What do you mean the house is dangerous? You think I will be eaten by the monster when you leave me alone?”

“No. What if somebody break into our house when you are alone? I rather bring you there with me.”

Alec opened his mouth.. unable to find the words, he closed it back.. He wanted to protest. But Magnus made it so clear they were cooking for their mom and he wanted the best it could be. So he agreed... when he wasn’t ready. Worst decision he had ever made... he thought.

So Magnus helped him into his shiny car front seat, buckled up safely and took his driver seat. Alec looked worried and nervous. The anxiety swelled up in his chest but when he took a glance to Magnus, he looked happy(and smug) so he faintly smiled and swallowed up the lump in his throat. Magnus drove, and Alec typed in Magnus’s phone about the groceries they would have to get.

“Milk, prawns, broccoli and carrots.. what else?” Magnus asked he took a turn to the Store’s car parking. “Oh.. the spices Mom loves. She said they are running out.”

“Oh, eggs!” Alec remembered. When Magnus parked the car and unbuckled himself, Alec passed his phone with a smile. “It would be nice if you get me some chocolate as well, Magnus. You don’t have to.. but if it is convenient…” His voice went down to a small tone.

“Why don’t you come and choose them yourself, Alec?” Magnus smiled, and Alec was stunned for a second.. He hadn’t decided if he wanted to enter the grocery mall, but oh well...

“Sure.. why not.” Alec replied. “I need your help though, Magnus. Will you help me?”

“Always, Alec.” Magnus replied, pleased as Alec agreed to it and went to take his wheelchair folded behind the trunk of the car. He brought it near to Alec, unfolded and supported Alec to hold on to him. Alec reached out to hold onto Magnus for the transfer to the wheelchair but Magnus did most of the work and made sure he was comfortably seated.

“You hold onto my phone and remind me, okay?” Magnus shoved his phone back to Alec and took the handle to push for him. Alec bit his lips to hold off this a little awkward but sweet feeling he was almost melted in. Magnus was hard for everyone not to fall for..! Just a little of interactions and everyone was swooning over him. Alec shook away his thoughts internally.

The first thing they entered the mall was the aircon hitting them. Magnus took one of the baskets and asked Alec to hold onto it. Alec rolled his eyes, but yet, agreed with him that it was the most convenient ways as he put the basket across his chair’s handrails. He just put his hands around the basket to hold onto it in case it would fall off.

They visited island by island of the grocery’s sections. They both cleared the list one by one. When all the essentials that they have come for are checked, they went to sweets section for snacks. Magnus put two large popcorn bags first and they chose the sweets together. The trip to the grocery mall was nice. There were still people eyeing at him or jumped away from him when he was close by as if he was going to crash into them.

Alec was conscious about it. And Magnus knew, so he always led themselves away from people. And he asked Alec what he had thought about the brands and varieties of their grocery checklist, occasionally teasing him in between. Alec laughed at those silly little jokes and rolled his eyes multiple times as they enjoyed their shopping. Finally, now they had come to the hardest part- the chocolate and sweet sections. Magnus took some of the sweets which he remembered seeing them in their house.. M&Ms, Reese, Oreos and some chocolates.. he added them first and asked Alec what he would like later.

“We already have chocolates? Then, Jelly beans and marshmallow..” Alec replied, a little bit shy from his sweet tooth but he knew Magnus would never judge. The whole house loved the sweets. Magnus hummed and picked up two different brands of marshmellow, comparing which one they would have liked better. Alec’s head turned to the side casually when he heard a kid screaming he wanted candy to his mom and met a little boy no more than 5 years old staring right back at him. He offered him a small smile before he turned back to Magnus.

“Which one do you like?” Magnus asked.

“I want this.” Alec pointed out to the right one and Magnus put the one Alec had picked to the basket.

“Now it is time for your favourite jelly beans.” He said and Alec beamed, just until when the little boy he made eye contact earlier had yelled.

“Mommy, why is he in a chair?” The little boy pulled the dress of his mom and asked her rather loudly. Both Magnus and he froze and they looked at to each other at a loss of words.

“He is in a chair because he has trouble walking, sweetie.” His mother replied gently, rather calmly and kindly. She saw Alec and Magnus looking at her so offered a smile to them, which they returned gratefully.

“I want to look at his chair... It is so cool..” The little boy whined.. A small smile curved on Alec’s lips as he heard that so he gestured him to come closer. He rushed down to him as soon as he saw his invite.

“Hi...” Alec said to the little boy with a smile. “You want to take a look at my chair?

“Yes…” He replied in a small voice. “I- I just want to look at it. It is so cool! Like from the comic I was reading. Professor Charles Xavier!”

Alec laughed. The little boy looked up immediately. “Of course, not his 60 years old self.. Um- th- that.. Their young part!”

Alec nodded. “Yes, I know what you mean, buddy. Come up here. I will give you a quick ride.”

So the little kid enthusiastically came up to Alec and Magnus helped him to seat on his lap. Alec rolled his wheels along the snack section to where they place the candy. Magnus and the mother of the kid followed them behind.

“Thank you for doing this.” She thanked Magnus as they followed along.

“Oh no.. It is no me. It is Alec.” Magnus smiled. “He has a good heart.”

“Yes, he does. He seems to have a beautiful heart, not just with a beautiful face.” The mother commented and Magnus nodded, no words left his mouth but agreeing with her whole-heartedly. Alec was kind and caring. He started to find out more about Alec from the time he rushed to save his mom and then, his recovering process. Even when he was the one who got hurt severally, he was still worried about burdening everyone. Magnus sighed as he swallowed down his emotions before they caught up to them, Alec stopping by at where the kid had pointed and reached out for a jar of candy.

“Mommy, I want this.” He held up to his mom with a wide smile.

“Sure, Liam. Come and put in the basket.” She replied.

The little kid smiled at Alec as he took another same jar from the island. “This is my favourite. You should definitely try this!”

Alec took it with a smile.. The little kid’s smile was contagious. “Sure, I will try it.”

“Liam, don’t forget to thank this gentleman for his kindness.” The mother reminded him. Liam turned his head to Alec, with the biggest smile he had ever seen and hugged him tightly.

“Thank you so much for this. You are awesome.” He told him and Alec hugged him back, feeling a little teary from a stranger/ a children hugging him tightly and being told he was awesome. The boy walked to his mom, waving them bye before they walked to the cashier. Alec watched them with a smile and the candy jar in his hand.

Magnus placed the basket he was carrying on his wheelchair’s handrails again and Alec looked up. Both were smiling. Magnus nudged him with his chin to the jar and Alec placed it in the basket with a chuckle.

“You okay?” Magnus asked him with an understanding smile.

“Awesome...” Alec replied back, feeling the best he had ever been in weeks.

***

They paid at the cashier, went back to their house and prepared dinner before their mom had come back. Both of them were in a good mood and they had fun in cooking, chatting and joking about movies and series they had watched. They were very pleased with their cooking. By the time Syfia had come back, she was greeted with a pleasant food aroma and she walked directly to the kitchen.

“How are my favourite boys doing?” She greeted them and both of them looked up. She couldn’t help but admired the view which both of her sons were cooking together for dinner when she had her business meeting. “Oh my, what are you cooking? It smells so good!”

“We made your favourite curry, mom.” Magnus replied, taking off his cooking gloves. “Prawn curry with coconut milk, Brocolli stir-fried and Soto Ayam _( chicken soup)_ all in Indonesian style, just the way you like it.” Magnus winked at her.

Syfia smiled as she stared at her eldest son. “And what is the occasion?”

Magnus looked at Alec. “Well, we went overboard in cooking.”

Syfia laughed and walked by to Alec to place a kiss on his forehead. Alec smiled, pleased but still murmured out he smelled from cooking. Syfia gave him a stern look emphasizing that it would never bother her before she walked to her oldest son to place a kiss on his temple.

“Also, it is for you from us to express how grateful we are to have you.” Alec spoke from behind. “You go to business meeting, take care of the house and us too. So we want you to have a good meal when you come back.” He looked at Magnus and Magnus nodded in agreement.

Syfia placed her hands on her chest, slightly teary from the words. She hugged Magnus tightly as he was nearby, and walked back to Alec again for his hug. Alec returned her hug tightly back. She looked at him with slightly teared up eyes and a fond smile as she patted his cheek gently.

“I am going to change my clothes upstairs. I will be back soon and let’s have dinner together.” She said. “I have the best sons in the world.”

“Also, I have a story for you about Alec when we have dinner.” Magnus said from behind the counter. Syfia gave her a confused look.

“What is it? Did it hurt again, Alec?”

Alec shook his head as he turned to look at Magnus. “It is a story for dinner.” He repeated.

“Okay…” She sighed as she got up. “Then, I will go change. I will come down very soon.”

Fifteen minutes later, she came back with comfortable home clothes and found the table was already set up. They all enjoyed dinner happily and Magnus told her the story of the encounter in grocery store today. Syfia didn’t like the part when she felt like Alec was forced to go out but her eyes shone when Magnus told him about the little boy. At the end of the story, she gasped with happiness, her hands pressed on her chest, and the dining cutleries completely forgotten.

“This is amazing!!!” She commented. “Magnus.. Alec.. this is amazing. I am so proud of you.” She looked at both of her sons delightfully. “And Alec, I am so glad today you went out and it was enjoyable. I am so proud of you today for going outside.”

Alec shyly stammered and failed in wording so he just gave out a grin. He looked at Magnus feeling grateful for it. She grabbed one of both Magnus and Alec’s hands on the table and she gently squeezed on them with a smile. “I love you two very much.” She mouthed the words.

***

Alec gritted his teeth as he tried to push the exercise bar in the therapy room. Hell, he was trying until his upper body was shaking uncontrollably but his legs wouldn’t move even one bit. He had been trying this for like fifteen minutes and all he got face red from trying and anger now..

“Alec, push through it.” Elijah, his therapist tried to encouraged him.

“I am trying!!!” Alec gritted his teeth. “This is pointless. I don’t want to do this.”

“Alec, You need to do this. If you don’t try, even when your back healed and it Is time to walk again, you won’t be able to walk from the muscle failures.”

“Will I ever be able walk again?!” Alec asked bitterly and both of his therapists looked at each other for a second. Alec sighed at that. _They all knew well about it so why was everyone still bothering with it._ Then, both of them offered up an encouraging smile.

“When your injuries are all healed, there is a chance for you to be able to walk, buddy. Don’t lose hope.”

Alec didn’t reply back. When his injuries healed means one year? three years or five? Or for the rest of his life? He sighed but when he found Syfia talking to Dr. Maryse nearby, he straightened his back, trying to push the bar again, reminding that he had to work hard for her.

“That’s it!!!” Elijah encouraged him. “After this, we need to work on your hands’ strength.”

Alec rolled his eyes. This day was going to be long.

***

While they worked on his arms’ exercises, he was actually sweating a lot. Alec felt so done but when he looked at Syfia and Dr. Maryse again, he found a woman in the hospital’s clothes staring at him from the seat. He took a sharp breath as he laid his eyes on her. His lips tightened, his jaws clenched and put on more strength into the exercises.

Syfia was chatting with Dr. Maryse while they waited for Alec’s physical therapy session and she noticed a pale woman in hospital clothes staring at Alec working with the other two therapists. She looked so broken so Syfia decided to approach her.

“Hi..” Syfia greeted the woman and she looked so frightened, almost jumped from her seat. Moreover, she looked more frightened after looking at the woman who just approached her. “I- I didn’t mean to scare you. I am Syfia.” She handed out one hand to her.

The woman didn’t reply for a few seconds but took her hand to shake. Her pale hands looked so thin and white like a paper compared to her golden bronze skin and Syfia sighed internally what would have driven her to this stage. Then again, they were in a hospital so an illness... _probably.…_

“An- Anna…” She replied, her wide blue eyes searching something in her warm brown eyes. Syfia was confused but she held her pale hand with both of her hands as an encouragement.

“I- I couldn’t help but saw you looking at my beautiful boy so I came over.” She smiled.

“I- is he yours?” She replied shaken.

“Yes, my youngest son, Alec.” She looked back to where Alec was and found Elijah was helping him back into his wheelchair. She sighed seeing Alec looking grumpy as ever, probably from the therapy against his will. “He was hurt six months ago and now on therapy. He is a strong boy.”

“Will he ever be able to walk?” The woman asked and Syfia looked at her, not knowing what to reply back. She couldn’t help but felt that woman pried on their lives too much. At that time, Alec rolled over to them and tapped on Syfia’s sleeve gently.

“Mom, it is finished. Let’s go.” He said to her without glancing at her.

“ Alec, we were talking. This.. is….” Syfia tried to introduce him to her but Alec shook his head.

“I am hungry.. Let’s go.” Alec cut in and rolled his chair away in a hurry. Syfia said good bye to her quickly to catch up with him. She finally caught him up on the way to the elevator. Alec has stopped and he was huffing from the rushing.

“Alec, it is rude to ignore people.. It is also rude to take off immediately.” Syfia said as she caught up to him. She walked in front of him and found in terror that he was shaking from anger.

“Alec.. Baby, what’s wrong?”

“She- she crashed into you- us.. mom... She was the one driving the car. Of course, I remembered her. I saw her before her car crashed into me.” Alec said between his gritted teeth. Tears rolled down on his cheeks and he wiped them away angrily. Syfia was shocked and speechless. It was true the driver was also hospitalized and they haven’t gone to court since the other driver had not been discharged yet so they have never seen the driver.

“Alec.. baby..” She took hold of his hands which were curled up to a ball and paled from gripping too tight. “Look at me.. it is okay.. it is okay.. Calm down..”

“W-we were in pedestrian green light. We were right but she crashed into us..” Alec mumbled sadly as he leaned onto her shoulder. Syfia was at a loss of words.. She could just hug him and gently rubbed his shoulder to comfort him so she did.

“H-Hi.. Syfia.. Alec…” They heard a very broken voice from behind and turned around to look at the direction. There was Anna, standing behind the corridor very shaken.. “I- I just want to say how sorry I was. I- I didn’t mean to.”

“Save it.” Alec yelled out. “I don’t want to see you. You tried to kill my mom and crashed into me. You took my legs away.. Do you think I will be okay with just your sorry?”

“Alec, I am so sorry..” Poor Anna tried to apologized again. “I would give whatever I have if I could have avoided that accident again.. I am so sorry to let that happen to you. P-please, I am begging for your forgiveness. I didn’t mean to crash into you.. I need you to forgive me.. I am sorry, Syfia and Alec. ”

Alec Looked like as if he hadn’t heard a word. He glared at the woman begging him for his forgiveness as one last time before he rolled away.. _Asking for forgiveness and avoiding court seems just so convenient for her?_ Alec huffed sarcastically and rolled away to the elevator. Syfia stared at her son’s back, and back to the Anna, who was crying hard now and looking quite unwell. She gulped as she looked at the pale woman with sympathy.. but she had no word for her.. for now, seeing her as the driver who tried to kill her and Alec, she didn’t feel like saying anything.

“Please take care, Anna..” Syfia finally told her before she walked away in quick steps to catch up to her son again.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> I hope like this. Do leave your thoughts in comments if you have any. <3 <3  
> Until next chapter! I hope it will be very soon! <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a new chapter for you, sweetie.  
> I swear it is one of my favourite fics to write so far.  
> It started with an idea in my head last year and the feel is still going strong.  
> I hope you are enjoying so far as much as I am. :D 
> 
> Excuse my typos if you find any, because I haven't proof-read it yet.  
> Leave your thoughts below, if you have any! （*’∀’人）♥
> 
> ***

***

 

Alec went into the elevator and seeing Syfia was coming up, he held the press button to wait for her. She came in and gave him a small smile. Alec pressed the ground floor button quietly. There was a silence in the elevator for a minute. Then, Syfia started to speak.

“You okay, sweetheart?” She asked.

“Yeah, mom.. I am okay. Just that seeing her was hard… I thought I would forget all of that but I didn’t.” Alec sighed.

She gently squeezed on his shoulder to encourage him. Alec smiled to it but it didn’t reach the eyes. The elevator opened, and Alec rolled his chair by himself to where their car was parked and she just silently followed him.

Alan was waiting in the car when both of them came back and was confused when Alec didn’t wait for anyone but opened the door by himself to enter. He quickly held on the door for him and was intending to help him into the car but Alec held onto the car’s door and swang himself to the seat by himself. He checked his position and gently shook his head to Alan who was half way trying to help and confused.

“It is okay, Alan. I got this. Thank you.” He muttered. Syfia went into the car by the other side and sat beside him, gently squeezing his hand. Alec squeezed back and he was grateful for her support.

The ride back to their home was uncommunicative. Everyone was restrained and tongue-tied. Alec gazed at the scenario on the way as they drove past by. New York was a busy and crowded city. Everyone was always in a rush. People were walking, cars were running and everyone was on their business. Alec stared at the people crossing the road at the traffic light and couldn’t help but think of he could have been one running, if he had not been paraplegic. He looked away as his heart was starting to fill with resentment and jealousy, and he just closed his eyes.

Even though his day was bad, he immediately felt better as they reached the home again. He immediately got happier as they entered under the white portico they had been very familiar with and when Alan helped him unfolded his wheelchair, he found Magnus was waiting for them at the entrance door. He was wearing his silk navy blue pyjamas set, complimenting his caramel skin tone and completely free of makeup, just with his messy bed hair, naturally good-looking soft welcoming smile and a cup of coffee in his hand. He got up to greet them and Alec almost forgot why he was so upset about.

***

Alec woke up to the pain in his upper body the next morning. Everything he felt was pain, always happening in the next day after the physical therapy. He scrunched up his face, trying to put his hand on his eyes but it was sore too so he gave up lifting it up. It was still from the accident six months ago but still, the pain and the suffering had hunted him every day. Alec thought of the words from Anna yesterday _and how she asked for forgiveness but if he were to suffer every day like this, how could he_? He groaned, biting his lips with his eyes still closed.

There was a movement, of flipping pages earlier but he heard the book being put away and someone got closer to him.

“Alec.. Alec, are you okay?” he heard Underhill worriedly asking.

“Yea.. just being sore, as usual.. and painful” He blinked a couple of time to get used to the light. He looked at the clock just beside the bed and it showed 9:35am, a little bit later than when he would usually get up. He usually got tired every after therapy days so his family let him sleep without waking up. He usually woke up to Underhill, who always arrived at 9am. Underhill handed him his normal morning medicines with an extra paracetamol for today and he took it gratefully.

Alec slumped in bed for a few minutes before he got up to wash up. He took a good time brushing his teeth as he was deep in thoughts. He cleaned himself, changed to a new pyjamas clothes and came out to have the breakfast Syfia had prepared in the dining room before she went to her company. Alec sighed as Underhill followed him around, was there to assist him with anything and ready for his any questions. He didn’t help him more than necessary as he believed Alec had to do anything he could for independency. And Alec liked that about him, moreover, he was a very nice friendly guy. However still, neither being in a wheelchair and with a caregiver was really in his list nor he had ever thought of it..

After their breakfast, and Alec was gazing out of the window to the garden, the scenes from the car accident flashed back to his mind again. Alec squeezed his eyes shut immediately and covered his face protectively as if he was going to keep the thoughts away from entering his mind. As sharp and experienced as a nurse was, Underhill immediately took a seat near him but asked him if he was okay putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey.. hey.. Alec.. it is okay. You are at home. You are safe.” Underhill muttered softly as he rubbed his back gently. Alec calmed down to it as he tried to catch his breathings back. And Underhill helped, telling him that it was all good and he was at home, drawing back his mind from the accident scene to home.

Alec put his hands covering his face down on his laps. He bit his lips, feeling ashamed of himself. “I- I am sorry…”He stammered..

“Alec, you don’t have to say sorry. I am your caregiver. It is my job to take care of you.” Underhill reassured him. “Traumatic thoughts?” he asked in worried.

“Yes.. The scenes before the second the car crash...” Alec sighed. “I- I rather not think about it but I couldn’t help but get the full flashback.”

Underhill nodded understandingly. “It is usual to get flashbacks of what you don’t want to remember, Alec. Some wants to hide it under the deepest place of their heart and mind.. which is bad, if you ask me. Sometimes, you have to let it out so you will feel lighter.” He encouraged him.

Alec looked at him. “But you already knew about it. I am sure mom would have told you before you met me.”

Underhill smiled. “But I haven’t heard from you. Now, do you want to tell me what’s wrong, Alec?”

So Alec told him, starting from the day of the car crash to the yesterday encounter with Anna, the driver guilty of the accident. Underhill listened to him silently without any judgmental look and he was right. Despite some shiny tears in his eyes threatening to fall, he did feel better after that.

“Everything wasn’t just what I have planned.” He leaned back on his chair.

“Everything does not go according to the planning, Alec.” Underhill replied.

“I wanted to get that highschool certificate, quit bothering mom and get out of this house. But then, I at least, needed a highschool certificate so I was waiting for it..”

“Why did you want to get out of this house, Alec?”

“Because I was burdening mom... and Magnus hated me.” He replied, feeling small. “I wanted to stop burdening them and become independent, not like being stuck in a chair and needing a caregiver.” He glanced at Underhill. “No offence to you, John. You are a good person.”

“None taken.” Underhill smiled.

“I did not hate you, Alec. It was true I disliked you the day she brought you into our lives, but seeing she was happier, I was glad she had you.” There was a smooth but firm voice coming from their back and they both turned to look at the source of the voice. They already knew, it was Magnus standing tall at the foot of the stairs, dressed up to go out.

“Mag- Magnus.. I thought you were already out.” Alec stuttered.

“I wasn’t. I overslept.” He replied and walked closer to them.

“Good morning to you, John. And Good morning to you, Alec.” Magnus greeted.

“Good morning to you. I think I have a book to read. I will be in the garden, Alec. Just call when you need me.”

Both Alec and Magnus nodded, and Underhill left, giving them space to talk about.

“So you wanted to leave this house.” Magnus started.

“I- I wanted to give you space.. and privacy. You hated me and you and mom fought a lot because of me.” His heart hurt as he talked. “I thought it would be the best to leave.”

“Alec, I did not hate you. I did dislike you for entering to our world so immediately. But you gave my mom happiness she had lost back. You were there for her when I couldn’t. You gave her the joy of raising a good child, turned out to be so beautiful inside out. I think that is her greatest joy.” Magnus smiled. “And you grew on me without me realizing. There were bad times because I was caught up in my own stuffs and I didn’t care about my surrounding. The day you rushed to help me with my violent ex? The day you followed me to the club and you chased the guys trying to beat me away? The day you stayed in my room to watch me when I had a fever?”

“You said I was annoying you.” Alec chuckled in tears.

“I know what I said. It was the opposite.” Magnus chuckled, brushing the tears on the younger one’s face away. “I was glad you were there because mom had to go to a meeting. And I don’t think I can tolerate the thought of myself being alone.”

Alec was silent so Magnus continued. “Also the day you saved mom, I couldn’t never be anymore grateful than this. My legs froze but you rushed there to save her. She is all I have and everything to me so I really thank you with all my heart.”

“So I will take care of you and you don’t have to feel so out of the place. You are family, one of us, Alec. You have always been. We only have each other. You can depend on us. It is not bothering or burdening us. And I am glad mom found you because I could see how pure and innocent your soul is.” Magnus reached out to hug Alec and Alec rushed to hug him tightly. A sob let out of his throat while clinging to the older man. Magnus hugged him tightly and patted his back gently to reassure him he meant what he had said.

“ I am sorry for messing up your shirt.” Alec murmured in his embrace. “It must be winkled by now.”

“I don’t care about the shirt. I care about you.” He replied wittingly, and Alec bit out a smile as he let go of Magnus.

“I don’t want to hold up for your appointment or whatever it is. When are you coming back?” Alec asked.

“After dinner, Alec. Don’t wait for me today.” Magnus patted his cheek gently as he got up. He was about to leave but he turned back and kissed on his forehead gently. Alec was stunned, and happy, and thrilled. His heart was jumping, almost leaping out of his chest like a fish to the floor.

“Bye.” Magnus waved without looking back. Alec murmured back shyly with reddened-blushing-hard cheeks and he doubted Magnus could’ve heard him saying.

***

The weekend passed quickly and his grudge for Anna had gotten stronger when his backs hurt every morning he woke up. It was a constant reminder of his injury and no words of apology or comfort could fix his suffering. Eventually, he became afraid of Wednesday, his therapy time. Alec even begged Syfia that he didn’t want to go. But with a sigh, she explained Dr.Maryse had requested especially that they would still have to go. Moreover, she thought it wasn’t a good way to try and hide or run away from the problem they would eventually have to face.

With a huff, Alec tried some exercises with the help of his usual therapists, Elijah and Victor.  His face turned to the side when Elijah stretched his leg and met the eyes of Anna staring at him apologetically again. He gritted his teeth and turned his head to the opposite.

“Is it usual to let other patients in for this therapy room?” Alec asked Elijah.

“No.. Why, Alec?”

“She has been staring at me for the past fifteen minutes. It is making me uncomfortable. If you don’t mind, can you ask her to leave?” Alec tried to phrase the words politely.

“Sure. I will ask her.” Victor got up to her to politely leave. Anna wanted to build up a fight to stay there but since she had no relation or any reason to be there, she was escorted outside. Alec sighed in relief at the sight. Elijah smiled understandingly.

  “It is understandable for wanting to keep your privacy.” He said knowingly.

Alec nodded. Victor came back with a sigh after a couple of minutes.

“She was crying terribly… I couldn’t leave her outside. I had to hand it to a nurse nearby.” Victor said and Alec swallowed the thickness in his throat, continued for his leg exercises.

***

Syfia came by at the end of the therapy session from the company to go back to home together with Alec. She greeted him and they were on their way to the entrance when Dr. Maryse called them back and asked if they could have a talk in her office. They looked at each other, but agreed to it. In her office, there was an elderly couple already seated and waiting for them.

“Mrs. Bane and Alec, this is Jared and Daniella Willow, the parents of Annabelle Willow.” Maryse introduced them stiffly, addressing her as Mrs. Bane instead of just her name, Syfia she usually addressed her. “They would like to have a talk with you and Alec.” 

Syfia walked in with an internal sigh, keeping a polite face on but standing tall. She took a hand of Jared Willow reached out to shake and then to Daniella. She took a seat just beside them and Alec rolled to just beside of his mom. The couple stared at him and Alec stared them back without a faze. The older man gave up and looked away the gaze with a sigh. He got up for a handshake with Alec.

“You must be Alec, who suffered in the accident.” He said, looking at the bright hazel eyes of his and the wheelchair he was in.

“T12 paraplegic.” Alec replied. He bit back about constant pain every morning and nights plus occasional breakouts. Alec huffed and found the white wall looking ever so interesting.

“We are very sorry about what had happened. We sincerely apologize about the physical and emotional damages our daughter had caused on us. We would like to apologize until you are satisfied. We take full responsibility of Anna’s action.”

“You take full responsibility? In what, I wonder.” Syfia asked, her eyes shining like a tigress.

Jared Willow’s eyes brightened up in her answer. He immediately took out a cheque book in his wallet before Dr. Maryse could have stopped him. “Please- please, if there is any compensation, Just-just name the amount-“

Insulted, Syfia got up immediately. “Do you think we will be satisfied by your apology in terms of money? Please keep it. We have the money too, but it couldn’t undo the accident, or stop my son’s suffering. Excuse me. If you are apologizing to us, in that way, I’m taking my son and leaving. I can’t even let him listen to you.”

As she turned to Alec, Jared Willow grabbed her hand immediately. “please, please.. listen to us. It is Anna.. She was feeling terrible about the accident. So are we, but we are losing our daughter. She gets sicker and sicker everyday. She needs to hear from Alec.”

She broke free of his grip coldly. “Mr. Willow, I will have you know that she was the one who crashed into us and nearly killed Alec. My son is suffering too. And we are still going to court for justice, if you are trying to break free from Justice.”

It was an awkward situation. Alec wanted to leave. So did Syfia. Jared Willow seemed so frustrated. Daniella Willow was crying in her seat with a handkerchief in her hand. Dr. Maryse sighed and speak. “Syfia, I am so sorry to bring you into this situation. It- It was Anna. Even though Mr. Willow didn’t phrase the words, he means well. At that very day, Anna had a heart attack while driving. She lost control of her hands and her legs temporarily at that time, crashing into Alec without being able to stop in time at the traffic. She was so shocked. When I reached out to care for Alec, my husband went to check up on her. She had lost unconscious and both of you were sent to our hospital..”

Alec reached out and grabbed his mom’s hand and she gently squeezed on him back. Maryse continued. “Her heart condition got worse every day so her court hearings were always postponed. But she always tells me how sorry and worried she was for you. And her heart is starting to fail. She is having an open-heart surgery in this week but before that, she wanted to personally apologize to you.”

Maryse stopped, looking at Syfia and Alec. Both of them were stunned and speechless. “As a doctor, I would like to ask you guys to give her a chance to apologize before her surgery, please… she deserves that at least, before her surgery.”

“I told her not to go out when she was not feeling well that morning..” Jared said sadly. “She didn’t listen. She still went out to meet with her friends, ending up in a car accident before reaching to them.. I- I am so so sorry this had happened to you, kid. I am so sorry about what my daughter has caused you.”

There were a lot of things running on Alec’s mind. But Syfia’s warm and soft hand rested on his shoulder and he looked up, giving his adoptive mother a small reassuring smile. She just stared back with all the love and understanding. He knew she would understand whatever he had chosen to do so.

Alec was silent for a few minutes. So was the whole room, except a small sob occasionally from Mrs. Willow. Alec put his hand over Syfia’s on his shoulder. “I suppose I can listen to what Anna wants to say, privately.” He added, looking at Jared. The father was brightened, his eyes welling up with shiny tears and his big hands grabbed Alec’s gently and firmly as an appreciation.

“Thank you. Thank you. God bless your heart.” He said, feeling thankful. “ I am so so sorry about my outburst earlier. It had been a difficult week dealing with Anna, her depression and the upcoming surgery. We mean well, Alec. If there’s any help you need-”

Alec shook his head. “I don’t need anything from you, Mr. Willow. Except an apology. I have everything I need right here with me.” He squeezed on his mom’s hand. Syfia let out a fond smile looking at her son, feeling extremely proud and happy. “But I will hear what Anna will say.”

So they quickly arranged Anna and Alec in a small private cubical meeting room of the hospital. Anna was so happy and touched to be able to sit beside Alec and talk with him. She apologized again and again, and Alec accepted, since now that he knew she had been sorry and it was unintentional. Anna cried, hugging him tightly as she rested her head on his shoulder. Alec let her, and he patted her back gently to comfort her.

“Thank you. Thank you, Alec. It was all I need.” Anna smiled, wiping her tears happily when Alec had said he forgave her. “And I- I am not running away from court or jail. I promised when I get better, I will go to hearing and accept whatever punishment the judge will give me.”

Alec shook his head. “I am sure, he will be fair and do the justice.”  

 They went silent for a minute before Alec decided it was time to leave. His hands reached out to the wheels. “I hope you will get better, Anna. All the best.” He said with a smile as a goodbye.

 “You too, Alec. I pray with all my hear that your legs will get better again. I prayed for you more than I have prayed for myself. I promise to pray for you in the future too.”

Alec smiled. “Take care and get well soon.” He turned his wheelchair around and his mom was waiting for him with a smile. The Willows passed by him with a nod and a smile that they appreciated what he just did for their daughter.

“Let’s go, mom.” Alec spoke, smiling to Syfia. “I am starving.”

“Perhaps we should stop by at a restaurant.” She smiled, taking charge of pushing the wheelchair for him. Alec let her do it for him. He was relieved because the physical therapy just turned his hands to mostly jellies and he didn’t even have strength any much longer with this hunger. It was already way passed noon.

“It is a great idea.” Alec grinned, his smile almost reached up to his ears. His chest had never been lighter than this and it felt great.

“Oh, Alec. I am so proud of you, baby.” Syfia said it fondly looking at her youngest son. "It was very kind of you to forgive her. I've raised such a beautiful son and I couldn't be any happier."

Alec smiled, with a shy blush coming up. “I could use a burger, or anything.” He joked as his stomach growled again, making Syfia giggle.

“Let me text Magus to meet at a restaurant, Sweetie. I know a place with the best Italian pizza in town. In fact, it is ours. One of our restaurants.” She winked, pulling her phone out of her handbag.

 

***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Thank you for reading, sweethearts.  
> Do leave a comment. ♥


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Lovelies.
> 
> After two busy weeks, I just wanted to update this. I didn't have time for proof reading so I think I will do it tomorrow morning. Now I am going to sleep.  
> Also, to make up for the absence, I will try to update a chapter during the weekdays.. I will try my best.. no promises though.. since my brain is usually fried after coming back from work at 7. ;w;;;  
> Also,,,,,, I talked to my bae about the fic and its name, and she came up with this name which I absolutely loved it. We think the name will suit with the scenes and events in the future which I have already planned out even before I started writing this fic. :'D  
> I am looking forward to your reactions when it happens. :D
> 
> Excuse my typos and here it is. :D  
> I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> ***

***

 

Magnus sighed as he slumped down on the luxurious couch, throwing his phone just beside him after politely rejecting another job interview. He had posted his resume and portfolio months ago and the companies were finally contacting him as the winter fashion months were near but he had to reject them. Some companies were big shots of his dream but he couldn’t leave Alec and Syfia alone with his works. His fashion designs would consume his time and he couldn’t just afford the time to be working at a company at a time like this. Rapheal stared at him as the couch they were sharing lowered down because of Magnus’s weight brutally slumped on it. So did Catarina and Ragnor, looking at Magnus with amused eyes at the opposite of them. It was their usual hanging out and catching up time in the old car garage of Santiago’s house, renovated for their private hangout place.

“Mi amigo, you alright?” Rapheal asked with his one eyebrow raised. “Another job offer again?”

“Yes, this one is from Gucci.” Magnus laughed as he covered his face in his palms. “Ah, who knows there will be a time I will be saying no to Gucci. It stings, guys.”

Rapheal and Ragnor snorted. Catarina chuckled. “I am sure you will still have their offer next year, Magnus.” 

“Yea, I hope so. Or it is already gone by now.” Magus groaned.

“I have been wondering, guys.. What if- what if we build a company of our own?” Rapheal proposed.

“What?” Ragnor asked in disbelief. “Company as in companionship-?”

“Dios, No! I mean a real business company- Like our very own fashion company.” Rapheal said it enthusiastically. “Look, I talked to my dad about this idea and he encouraged me about it. We all want to be a fashion designer. We all are graduates and we live really close by. I think our own fashion company will be very flexible for all of our working hours and places.”

“We need an office.” Catarina said immediately.

 “You are in it.” Rapheal grinned. “We used to make clothes in our school assignments days. Why not use it for our business too?” He suggested. The car garage was an old building but it had just renovated and used for their hangout times. It wasn’t that small for four people. Each can get enough working space and a desk plus there were a storage room for sharing and small pantry at the back of the building.

Their eyes shined in the flash of the idea. They all knew they needed time to think and prepare but the idea sounds really great. So they discussed more and more about the details and spent the time enthusiastically about work for the first time ever.

“Of course, it is not gonna be so soon. We need time to prepare.” Rapheal said leaning back to the couch with a satisfied smile.

“I am fine with later. I can’t work immediately too.” Magnus shrugged, but with a smile as he approved of the idea. Being the boss of him work sounded really well to him. “I need to check up on Alec time to time too. I can’t just leave him alone for so long.” 

“Speaking of Alec, How is he doing?” Ragor asked.

“Doing much better, physically. Mentally, I don’t know, Ragnor.” Magnus replied, looking up at him. “It is like, he is always sad. He blamed himself if he had to ask for help even if it Is such a small thing. He doesn’t always ask and he swallows down the things he wanted to do if he had to ask. He only asks if it is absolutely crucial... This is a self mental torture, Raph. He is restraining himself so much. I think it is affecting him mentally.” Magnus used his hands to try to explain to his friends wholeheartedly. “Do you get what I mean? He hates burdening and he thinks everything he does is burdening us- which is not. I will be more than happy to do anything for him.”

“Oh, Magnus..” Catarina sighed. “You need to assure him that he isn’t causing any trouble.”

“I do. I just did a few days ago. I think I have to keep saying it until he accepts it eventually.” Magnus smiled a little. “Gosh, he is so adorable. I only get to hang out with him now and it was just nice. He is so shy and adorable. There was one time I brought him to the supermarket. He was so scared of going out in wheelchair and to be honest, so was I too. I was so worried if somebody will hurt his feeling unintentionally but he made it work. He met a little boy curious of his wheelchair and he gave him a stroll and he laughed together with him. I mean, how adorable was that. I was so touched.”

 Magnus smiled to the memory fondly, pressing a hand on his chest. “My heart was beating pretty fast at that time. If it is not the most heartwarming feeling for me, then I don’t know what it is.”

The three others looked at each other. Magnus was talking so fondly as if he was talking about a lover.

Catarina smiled. “Magnus.. Magnus.. you are talking like you love this kid. You should hear yourself.”

“Did I?” he frowned, taking a bit of his smile off. “No. No, I don’t think so. I am very fond of him now though.”

Catarina just hummed. “Maybe we should visit your house again to see Alec.”

“You should. He could use some company.” Magnus agreed and took out his phone as he heard a message tone. “I gotta go. My mom is asking me to come over.”

“We will talk about setting up our company later.” Rapheal reminded him.

“We will. It gonna be so good.” Magnus grinned as he picked up his keys. “Come visit my home next time.” He waved as he left the hangout. The rest of the group stared at him.

“Did you see his face when he talked about Alec earlier?” Catarina finally spoke with a big smile.

“I did. His face genuinely lit up like he actually cared.” Ragnor commented. “Which had never happened before. Maybe he loves him now.”

“He does. It is all clear.” Rapheal took a sip of his strawberry smoothie. “Mi amigo talked like he was in love.”

***

Magnus reached to the destination first, and he waited at the carpark, leaning on his car lazily. There were some girls checking him out and eye flirted him but he stayed on his phone until Syfia’s car arrived. As soon as her car stopped by, he quickly greeted them and helped Alec to his chair.

“Thank you, Magnus. You have been kind. And I am scaring your girls away.” He pointed out, half jokingly but half truthfully, looking at the side where the girls gave them one last judgmental look as they walked away.

“Who? I didn’t even notice.”

“Well, you should since they are making a fuss just in front of us.”

Magnus snorted as he pushed the wheelchair. Syfia left Alec in Magnus’s hands and went first to talk with the waitress at the counter for their seating.

“Hi, what can I help you today?” The waitress asked with a bright smile.

“Hello there, Do you think you can give us a private table?” Their mom asked, looking back at her two sweet sons.

The waitress had noticed Alec and she smiled, showing them a small private table, comfortable enough for three of them and easily accessible for Alec. It was around later afternoon so there were only a few people dining in. They ordered triple Cheese pizza, some hot wings and cokes, chatting while they waited for their order. Syfia told Magnus about what had happened earlier and Magnus was so proud and pleased, hearing what Alec had done. Both of them were so proud of him and Alec was blushing furiously, munching on his pizza slices while he digested their compliments.

“Do you know what mom has been thinking?” Syfia asked after a sip of her coke. “I think we all deserve a vacation.”

“Where, mom?” Magnus asked. Alec looked up at them with surprised and curious wide eyes.

“I am thinking of a beach. It has been long since we’ve been to one. And Alec had never been to a beach, right?”

Alec shook his head. “But you don’t have to count me in, mom. I can stay at home. It will be a problem to bring me there.”

“Hush, child. Nonsense. We are not going anywhere without you. Of course you have to be there, Alec. We will need a checkup for you if you are fit to go on a vacation. You deserve one. We all deserve one.”

Alec was silent. He looked away from their eyes but his widen eyes had never calmed down as he couldn’t stop worrying.  

“Mom is thinking Hawaii, kids. It is a little far but we all need to break away from here for a while.” She suggested.

“Sure. It is a great idea. I can’t wait for another sun tan.” Magnus said with excitement. “The sun, the sea.. It has been a long time since we went for a vacation, mom.”

“Yes! We have been on road trips but not to a beach. I am excited for beach too, Magnus. Alec, it doesn’t have to be in this week.. We will have a week or two to prepare for it.”

The happy chatter continued. Alec took a bite at his third slice of pizza, totally forgotten about the taste of the cheeses he liked so much just a few minutes ago. The pizza became just plain, rubbery and tasteless as he chewed on it. In his mind, he just wondered if he would be able to enjoy the vacation and not to kill anyone’s fun.

***

Alec’s last resort in opposing was Underhill saying he would be unable to go but Underhill seemed to be thrilled at the idea of having a vacation. When Syfia had explained him about their plan, he strongly encouraged them and said a vacation especially to a beach would be refreshing. Syfia and Magnus cheered happily and she had invited him to come along to care for Alec if he would be available. He checked up with his schedules and agreed to it.

“Thank you for agreeing to our trip, Mr.Underhill. I am so glad you agree to our last minute request. With you coming along with us, out Alec can be still in the best care.”Syfia greeted him as he walked into their house at 9:30 in the morning as usual.

“Oh no, Mrs. Bane. It is all my pleasure.. And I love this kid.” Underhill glanced at Alec and smiled.

“Your husband is also very much welcome to join if he can, Mr. Underhill. It could be a trip for you two as well.” Syfia replied with a wink.

“Oh no. David will be out of town for a week with a business trip. Thank you for your offer though, Mrs. Bane.” Underhill gratefully replied.

“Hus-band?” Alec who was on his chair nearby asked with his head tilted. He seemed confused with the term as it was new to him.

“That is right. David and I have been married for 4 years, Alec.” Underhill showed his left hand to Alec. On his ringed finger, there was a gold ring with a sapphire surrounded by small diamonds. “I am married to a man.”

“Oh- oh.. Congrats.” Alec replied, staring at his ringed finger without blinking.

“Thank you. It is the best decision of my life.” Underhill smiled happily. “Other than, choosing to become a nurse, of course. Taking care of people is my greatest pleasure.”

“Why? Do you love men?” Alec asked again, his cheeks blushing red because of his curiosity. “I am sorry for the question but-..”

“It is okay, Alec. No, I don’t love men but I do love a certain man. I fell in love with him. Do you wanna hear the story, Alec?” He asked Alec and he nodded shyly, but eye shining.

“Great. If you have already have breakfast, let’s head to the room. I need to check your spine, give you morning meds and I will tell you my story while we do, okay?”

Alec nodded and rolled his wheelchair back to his room after Syfia leaned in to kiss his cheek as she needed to go to her company.

Alec moved his body to the bed first, then his legs one by one on the bed for his spine check and lied on his side so Underhill could examine his wound and spine. Underhill kneeled on the floor behind him to check and Alec took a sharp breath when his nurse pressed on one of the wounded area and felt a dull pain there.

“Is it painful there? Sorry Sorry.” Underhill immediately apologized.

“It is okay. So your story?” Alec asked staring at the blank white wall opposite of him. He was all curious, it wasn’t even like him.

Underhill chuckled and pressed his hand on one of the spine vertebrae. “Is it painful here?”

Alec shook his head. “No..”

“Okay, I will tell you while I check, okay? Hmm.. I met David six years ago in a coffee shop. I was rushing for an emergency case and I bumped into him. I was so sorry, of course. And he had an important meeting, so I changed my shirt into his coffee soaked shirt and give my shirt to him. We exchanged our shirts.” Underhill smiled at the memory. He continued examining thoroughly in several areas. “He asked my number so he could return the shirt. And he called that night. We had a nice dinner. It was our first date.”

“But why not a woman? Do you not like a woman?” Alec asked.

“I am gay, Alec. I know I am gay since I was fifteen and I could never love a woman in a romantic way. So is David. We clicked very well.” Underhill smiled finishing up his checking. Alec rolled to be on his back again.

“I have seen Magnus being with a lot of guys and girls.” Alec said. “He is on and off with them but yes, there were a lot of males and females.”

“That is because Magnus is Bi- bisexual, Alec. He likes both women and men.” Underhill said as he sorted out his pills.

“And the people who prefer opposite gender are called straight?”

“Yes, they are called straight people.” Underhill hummed.

“I- I don’t know what I am.. I- I don’t..” Alec stammered, trying to figure out but failing. The information was there but he was unable to process any.

“Hey, hey.. You don’t need to. Believe me.. You will figure it out by yourself. There is no rush. There is no rule or hurry.” Underhill comforted him. “What you need to worry about is how to spend today until your family will come back. We could draw or read something, you know?”

“I want to watch tv.” Alec said. “And who proposed who..?”

   Underhill chuckled as he picked up the tv remote. “David proposed me in a restaurant. I couldn’t think of the date being anymore sappier, and embarrassing but I wouldn’t want it any other way.” He laughed.

Alec grinned. “That is so nice.. I am happy for you, John.”

“Thank you, Alec. Now which one are we watching?”

“I want to watch Dexter season 5. I finished 4 two days ago.”

Underhill groaned. _Yup. This kid loved Thriller, Mystery, Sci-fi, horror.. all the scary ones..._  “okay.. I will be reading my ebook on my tablet with earphone. Just send me a msg if you can’t call me or anything.”

Alec rolled his eyes at that. “C’mon. it isn’t even bad. John, he wasn’t even killing people like in typical horrors movies.”

“Not my cup of tea.” Underhill grinned as he seated on his sofa just a bit beside Alec comfortably. He started reading and Alec continued to watch his serie.

***

Magnus came back to his home sooner than he thought. It was afternoon just a little before lunch time. He studied around the house and walked towards Alec’s room which he peeked a little without a knock. He saw Underhill reading something on his tablet and Alec falling asleep on his bed. Seeing that, He opened the door wider and walked into the room.

“Hey, Magnus.” Underhill got up and greeted him with a smile but quietly since Alec was sleeping.

“Hi, John. How is he today?” Magnus replied and asked in similar manner glancing at the sleeping boy.

“Great. His back will take time to be fully healed but there are some improvements. He is stable.”

“It is good to hear that. Thank you.” Magnus smiled. “Have you guys had lunch already?”

“No. I was going to wake him up soon for lunch later. Maybe you can do that for me?”

“Will do.” Magnus nodded and walked towards the bed. Underhill left them in the room and walked out quickly to heat up the food. Magnus sat on the bed and stared at the sleeping figure. Alec.. Alec was pale as usual, soft, and sleeping so peacefully with his hand gripping on his old stuffed dog he got years ago, his black raven hair in a mess falling over to his forehead to his cheek. Magnus couldn’t help but reached out to tuck the piece of hair behind his ear again. He sighed as he found himself thinking Alec was mesmerizing…

“Alec.. Alec.. wake up.” Magnus shook his shoulder gently and Alec opened his eyes, his eyeslashes flustering in confusion.

“what.. what.. why are you here, Magnus? Is it already evening?”

Magnus chuckled. “No. I came back home early. C’mon. It is time for lunch.” Alec sat up and Magnus helped in transferring back to the wheelchair. Magnus helped in heating food that Syfia had made for them and the three of them had a nice lunch together. Underhill was surprised ever since Magnus came back, he was accompanying the kid. He was now looking at the sight Magnus was sitting on a sofa beside Alec’s chair and both of them were drawing on a book together, laughing happily about something. Alec didn’t look bored as before and there was a constant smile on his face as Magnus was talking to him now. He was glad.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> In this chapter, Alec learned something about sexuality and that it is okay to like the same gender. I only put in a few information enought for Alec. I feel that the story talk with Underhill is sweet and I apologize in advance if something is wrong.  
> So the next chapter will be about the happy vacation trip and I will try my best for some romantic scenes.  
> After that, there is some angst coming up again. :'3  
> Tell me your thoughts, okay? :D <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, lovelies. 
> 
> Does that count in weekday if I started in late Friday plus posted in Saturday morning-  
> No, I guess not/ I should stop making excuses but happy weekend. We all have been waiting for it. xD
> 
> And I was so excited to post the chapter. So all the mistakes are mine.  
> But this is one of my favourite chapters to write with everything going on. I am all on fluffy clouds because of this chapter. ٩(♡ε♡ )۶
> 
> Please do comment your thoughts for this chapter. I am really looking forward to your reactions, especially with all the malec happening. （*’∀’人）♥  
> Without further ado, here is your next chapter, sweeties. ♥
> 
> ***

Alec couldn’t sleep at the night after his conversation with Underhill. There were a lot of nights he was left awake due to his backpain or the coldness of the room but this night wasn’t one. He was comfortably lying down under his blankets, the room being just cold enough to be relaxing under the layers and his usual pain being absent thankfully. After his injury, his immune to coldness had dropped drastically and he would be shivering for hours while all the others would feel was just a chill. The night was particularly peaceful and calming. He could hear faint raindrops sound from the window and he was luxuriously tucked in on his bed, covered by three warm layers of comforter blankets. He was good.

What was really on his mind was the conversation he had with his caregiver, John Underhill, being married to a man. He was a happy, kind and helpful man married to the love of his life. There was a slight jealousy coming up in his chest that Alec would have liked his life to be like John’s as well - to manage his life well, to be happy, to be married and have one to call his own one day.. He closed his eyes, imagined about his wedding and saw himself walking the aisle to a man.. He immediately flushed and squeezed his eyes tight. The man waiting there was resembling awfully of Magnus, his adoptive brother. He blushed hard and buried his face into one of the pillows. _Screw him for being so handsome._ He had always known Magnus was terribly handsome, great-looking and high on demand which was so obvious by people surrounding him and the number of his exs. He was fine being both with man and woman. Alec wondered that about himself too but it was seemingly impossible. Who would have loved him? Alec rolled his eyes, brushed away his thoughts and tried his best to fall asleep.

***

The next morning, Syfia started planning about the trip and talked about it in breakfast table. Alec rolled his eyes to himself but Magnus caught that and giggled to himself, which made him breathed into the coffee he was drinking. He coughed and laughed, which both Syfia and Alec frowned and she handed a tissue paper. Magnus took it with a grin to wipe his mouth and nose.

“What is so funny?” She asked.

 “Oh nothing.” He grinned. “I am just excited for the trip. I see So is Alec too.” He grinned and Alec glared at him.

“Hush, don’t tease your brother, Magnus. And oh, Alec, baby, we need to go to hospital today for checkup with Maryse if it is alright with you. It should be just a checkup, because I don’t want you to be uncomfortable during the trip.”

“It is fine, mom.” Alec smiled. “Alright.”

“And we will go shopping after that. What is your plan for today, Magnus?”

Magnus shrugged. “Nothing. I am free today.”

“Then, come with us? We can have a family outing as well as a shopping.”

“Sure, Mama. I would love that.” Magnus replied and Syfia smiled, excited for the day.

After an hour later, they went to hospital for a checkup. Dr.Maryse greeted them happily and gave her approval for a vacation after a thorough checkup. All of them were relieved, even was Alec.

“You know, my children are asking me about you a lot. They missed you.” Dr. Maryse smiled as she ran through his results. “Apparently, all of them are very fond of you. You have managed the Lightwood family to get to like you, except Robert since he hadn’t seen you so far.. but I am sure he will like you too.”

Alec was getting shy immediately. “I- I didn’t do anything. I couldn’t even talk well-”

Maryse laughed and the rest of his family grinned as they all thought it was adorable of him and only he hadn’t realized. Magnus thought to himself fondly.

“Relax. It is a good thing. Maybe I will get them here after next therapy session so they can hang out with you?”

“That would be great. I am so excited to see them too.” Alec replied enthusiastically. There was an undeniable smile on his face, knowing that they missed them as much as he did but he had thought they might have had forgotten about him eventually. That was why he kept quiet about them.

“They just finished their last class for this summer break. So I am sure you will meet them more in the future.” The doctor smiled.

“I will text you our address if you can join us for dinner or a meal sometime?” Syfia offered. “I’ve always wanted to invite you for a dinner for all the things you have done for our Alec, but I thought since you are a doctor, you must have been pretty busy so I held back.”

“Oh no. I would love to join for a meal, Syfia.” Maryse smiled, holding Syfia’s hand warmly as an appreciation. “My kids will love it too. Do you mind if I bring all three of them when I do?” She asked with a soft laugh.

“Not at all. Do bring all of them.” She replied with a similar smile. “We need to arrange a dinner time after we get back from our trip!”

Maryse nodded. She patted her hand and tended to Alec. “You have a great time in Hawaii, Alec.” She smiled as she pinched his cheek gently. 

“Thank you, Dr. Maryse.” Alec lifted up his face and smiled. A small pain which she couldn’t even put her hand onto pinged in her heart as she saw the boy’s lit-up smile. He reminded her too much about her eldest son, even in the same name.. The only difference was that her child was lost just in front of her eyes. Maryse smiled faintly as she walked them out of her office.

“Dr.Maryse, how was Anna, by the way?” Alec asked and caught her in surprise. She never thought he would care about Anna that much, especially after their problem was settled.

“Oh, She hasn’t had her surgery last week. Her condition was weak by that time so we postponed and put her on care. It is scheduled to be in this week though.” She replied.

“Do you mind if I see her before we go, mom?” Alec looked up at Syfia. Maryse’s steps froze at _“Mom”_ but of course, the boy was talking to his mom.

“Alright, Baby.” Syfia smiled, ruffling his hair gently.

Alec wheeled into her room. He had thought she would be sick on the bed, surrounded by machines and unable to speak due to being weak but he found her sitting up in a chair, drawing something. She screamed happily when she saw Alec coming in and rushed to hug him tightly.

“Alec, It is so nice to see you.” She said, her hands wrapping around his shoulders tightly.

“It is so nice to see you too, Anna.” Alec smiled a little and patted her back gently. “I was here for a checkup and I heard from Dr.Maryse that your surgery was postponed because you aren’t feeling well.”

“I was. But I am getting better.” She smiled a little. “Trying to have fun as much as I can.”

“That is great.” Alec replied. They both chatted for around five minutes before Alec wished her the best, left the room and joined his family again. Anna was happy and glad that he visited. He was glad as well.

After the hospital, they went to a restaurant again and to the shopping. Shopping in the mall was fun, and nostalgic with many times the three of them had been shopping together but just that Alec was in a wheelchair. But he was grateful for his family. They have never left him out. They showed their choices, asked questions and decided together what to buy. Syfia bought some beach dresses. When they stopped by at a shop for new flipflops, Alec was caught in surprise when Magnus kneeled down and helped him put on the slippers.

“Magnus!!!” Alec yelped. “You- you don’t have to..”

“But it is easier for you, isn’t it?” Magnus replied looking at his feet. “I think you should get one size smaller than this.”

“Doesn’t matter. I- I might not need it. You don’t have to buy for me. It will be a waste of money.” Alec replied with a small voice. His self-esteem was dropping again. He certainly wouldn’t be walking on the sand. Pretty sure he’d end up in his wheelchair 80% of the time he would be awake. Buying the slippers to walk on the sand sounded silly to him.

Magnus looked up immediately and glared at him. Alec closed his mouth and pressed his lips together inwardly. _Crap.._ He thought to himself.  

“Which design do you like, Alec?” Magnus stared at the selection as all the flipflops were all the same except in design.

“That one would be good.” Alec pointed at the plain black one.

Magnus completely ignored that. He chose a red and yellow flipflops with palm trees detail on it. Alec sighed but accept it anyway. Magnus got a plain black flipflops but with gold glitter on the strings. When their mother went to cashier, Alec grabbed Magnus’s hand.

“Are you okay? I am sorry. Are you mad at me?” Alec whispered.

Magnus stared at him for a while and shook his head while he gave his hand a little squeeze. “No, I am not. You don’t need to worry about those stuffs, Alec.”

Alec sighed and nodded. They stopped saying a thing since their mom had come back with the bag. They stopped by at another shop again, this time for the boys with some beach clothes. After the clothes, they went for some grocery shopping for snacks and food. Alec started having fun more in the grocery shop, getting sweets and cakes to consume later. With the trip coming up in a few days, he needed sugary things to keep him happy. He doubted he would enjoy it. He doubted he would have fun. But looking at the two people beside him, they deserved a vacation, a break from taking care of him. For now, Alec smiled as Magnus showed him two jars of chocolate. Alec pointed at one and Magnus put the exact one he had pointed out to the basket.

***

He was actually having fun during the vacation. When they were alighting onboard for their flight, they were given priority since Alec was a handicapped person. He was a little shy as his nurse helped him pushed his wheelchair getting onboard but as soon as their plane left the ground, he was in awe with the clouds and the clear blue sky. John who was seated beside Alec smiled as he looked at his patient amused at the view, his eyes wide in awe, mouth opened with a gasps and his hand on the glass panel of the window.

“Do you like it, baby?” Syfia who was seted in front of them turned back and asked gleefully.

Alec nodded continuously. “This is so cool. Thank you, mom.”

Syfia smiled and turned back to the front again to have a small chat with her eldest son, Magnus seated beside her. It was a 10 hours flight. They would be on plane for some times.

***

Three hours during the flight, Underhill got up for the restroom. Magnus immediately got up to follow along and called out his name. Underhill stopped moving, a little dumbfounded.

“Hi,John.. I am wondering if you could switch seat with me.” Magnus asked.

“What?” He asked again, looking more confused.

“I want to sit in your seat. I want to sit with Alec for a while.” Magnus replied.

“Oh, okay… alright, it is fine with me.” He held up his hands with a smile.

“Great, thank you.” Magnus patted his arm as an appreciation and immediately headed back to the seat. Alec tilted his head when it was Magnus who just sat beside him. Magnus smiled.

Underhill came back to Magus and Alec talking and laughing to each other. He smiled and apologetically sat beside Syfia and she returned with an apologetic smile.

“Kids..” She murmured. “They just want to sit with each other.” She let out a light laugh as she said.

“I agree.” Underhill nodded with a smile. Syfia continued on her book and Underhill continued watching a movie from a small personal flatscreen provided by the airline. Sometimes later, she turned her head back to check on her children. Alec was asleep, his head leaning on Magnus’s shoulder and Magnus was watching something on his tablet with earphones on but he looked distracted, looking pleased with a grin.

***

The beach house was a beautiful private Bungalow just in front of the sea with a room each for four of them. It had a small garden of roses in front with shaded seats to sit and stare at the ocean. They all had loved it.

Alec muttered. “Thank god it doesn’t have stairs.”

Syfia eyed her son and gave him a look. “Of course, I made sure of that, baby. Can’t have any obstacles for our happy trip, can we?”

Alec smiled and thanked her. By the time they reached was around the afternoon so the sun was still shinning and high. They decided to have lunch from a nearby restaurant takeout and rest until the sun had gone down. Around an hour later, the food delivery came and they enjoyed the local food before they went to their own rooms for resting. Syfia and Alec got a room each with attached bathrooms while Magnus and Underhill would be sharing the common bathroom and he was thankful for the consideration.

Alec got some rest in his room, sipping on his mixed fruit juice and staring at the ocean plus reading a light novel from his tablet. It was strangely relaxing with new environment, so peaceful with all white and wooden theme, nothing but the sounds of ocean waves and people talking happily. It was such a great change of mind. He was on the midst of his novel until he heard a knock and Magnus came in to tell him they all were going to the beach. He looked stunning, looking ready with his unbuttoned yellow Hawaiian shirt with green coconut details and a casual black three quarter shorts. Alec was stunned and stared at the other, couldn’t process anything but the sweet caramel chest under the unbuttoned shirt.

“Alec, we are going into the water.” Magus said it again, impatiently this time as the younger boy didn’t respond to him.

“oh- oh, right. I will be there. Give me a minute please.”

“John asked if you needed help in changing. I don’t mind helping too. Do you need any help?” Magnus asked considerately but as in a frantic mood, Alec shook his head.

“I- I can manage. Ju- just wait for me in front.” Alec stammered and Magnus smirked thinking how cute he was, looking so shy now.  

“Alright. Oh, by the way, have you applied your sunscreen?”

“Sunscreen?” Alec frowned. “What is that? No. Mom would use it but I don’t think I need to. I am a guy.”

“Nonsense. Here.” The older male tossed him a bottle and it just fell onto his lap. “Make sure you apply it all. Trust me. You don’t want a sunburn. You’ll be crying at nights without it.”

Alec snorted. Magnus eyed at him. “If you don’t do it yourself, mom and I will make sure you have applied on every part of your body.”

“oh my god. leave, please.” Alec shyly stopped him. He was beet-red and Magnus bursted out laughing, one hand on the doorframe for support as his whole body trembling with laughters. “I- I will use it. That’s all, right?” Alec bit his lips adorably.

“Yea. Okay, We will just wait for you in front. Take your time, Alec.” Magnus closed his door again. Alec changed himself from his long jeans into a navy blue beach shorts and chose a light blue shirt for the top. It took some time and patient changing himself. Just before he left, his eyes fell on the bottle Magnus gave him again. He groaned as he squeezed some amount of the sunscreen and applied to the skin where they would be exposed to the sun like his arms and legs. That also took some time and he was a little impatient.

The beach was nice. There was a wheelchair accessible concrete lane to mid of the distance between the Bungalow and the shore. The sun was low and there were some people playing on the sand and in the water but not so many as the shore was reserved privately to the Hotel-Bungalow group which only the people who had booked under the group could access the part of the shore. It was private and not so crowded.

Syfia and Alec took a seat each on the benches of the beach under the palm leaves umbrellas. Magnus jumped into the sea as soon as he sighted on it. Underhill asked him if there was anything he needed and Alec said no, letting his nurse going into the water. His mom was getting a sun tan and sipping a coconut juice. He just stared at the people swimming, playing and making sandcastles on the beach.

Around fifteen minutes later, Magnus came up to the shore again, all wet and the clothes sticking to his body. He had attracted a lot of attentions from men and women walking from the shore back to where his mom and Alec was. As he stopped, some girls just obviously checked him out and he just smirked to himself as he sat on Alec’s bench. He saw him staring at the people.

“Do you want to go into the water?” Magnus asked Alec, staring directly at him.

Alec looked at him in surprised. “No.” He said and Magnus raised one eyebrow. Yes.” He added back shyly. Magnus grinned as he put his hands under Alec’s back and knees each and lifted him in the air as in a bridal style.

“Magnus!” Alec yelled out in surprise. “What are you doing?”

“I am taking you into the water.” He smiled. “Didn’t you want to go?” He said as he started walking back to the ocean again.

Alec was silent. Magnus took a few more steps and they were almost at the lining of the sea and the sand.

“Am I heavy?” Alec asked shyly. Magnus looked down at the pale boy in his arms.

“No.” He replied. _No_. Actually he was lighter than what Magnus would have liked. He did not seem to weight healthy.

“People are staring.” Alec drew in a reverse sigh breath.

“Let them stare. It is not our business, Alec.” He replied as he walked into the water.

Alec spoke after a few seconds later. “You sure I am not a burden to you?”

“If you keep talking, I will drop you in the water.” Magnus threatened lightly.

Alec gasped. His wrap around Magnus’s shoulders tightened. “Please don’t.” Alec whispered and his head tiredly leaned on Magnus's shoulder as a plead. _Cute.._ Magnus thought as he stared. The boy was bad for his heart as it was beating loudly. He tried not to show the reflection of feelings when he had him in his arms. He was carrying him. The water was at his waist and both of them could feel the waves. At the time, the people and the surrounding were all blurred as if everything did not exist and they were alone.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Sooooo, what do you think? How is it going?  
> And what would happen in the next chapter? Do comment your thoughts below, sweetie. ♥  
> Next chapter should be exciting too. Do look forward to it. :D


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii, sweeties.
> 
> I hope you will enjoy reading this chapter as much as I did writing it. It was some steps to the next plots and I have some difficult time arranging and brainstorming but it worked out in the end and I loved how it turned out. xD  
> Fear not, I should be back on weekly updates, sweeties. 
> 
> But yes, happy time for Alec and his family.. For now. xD
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it. Let me know in the comments below. <3  
> Also, oh god... Don't mind my typos and mistakes. I barely had the time to upload. :')  
> I'll fix them when I have the time. 
> 
> ***

***

 

 

Alec touched the water in his hand. He was still blushing from being held by Magnus but he knew it was the only way and there was nothing more than that, even if a small part of him had wished. The hope in him was absurd. He ran his fingers in the clear blue sea water and a small smile curled up on his face. Magnus seemed pleased when he saw Alec loving the water so much.

“Can you please lower me down a little? I wanna touch the water.” Alec asked and Magnus complied to his request. So he lowered him down, one hand under his waist and one under his head to support him. Alec felt water gently caressing his face and his body. It felt cooling and somehow refreshing. He felt like he was floating on the water and he was. He looked up and he could see the sun, the clear blue sky and Magnus who was looking down at him with a smile.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Best ever.” Alec smiled.   Alec stayed like this for a good minute. He was enjoying himself. The sun, the sea, the weather and everything.. Everything was under control until one big wave rushed on them unkindly. Both of them was swallowed by the wave into the water. Alec’s face fell under water and he tried to struggled, air bubbles leaving his lungs from his desperate gasps. He was drowning in the water. Suddenly, his vision of blue crystal clear water turned dark. The sunny day became a night and everything was black, a shuddering cold hit his chest and he was drowning. He was going to die..

Suddenly, a strong pair of hand pulled him out of the water. He gasped and clung onto the rescuer, coughing out the water he had swallowed. Magnus was holding him tightly and trying to calm him down. He didn’t hear anything but put his chin on his muscular shoulder and buried his face in his caramel tanned neck.

“Hey, hey.. It is okay. It is okay, Alec. I will never let you drown.” Magnus said, patting his back gently. Alec was still clinging onto him. Alec was gasping and unfocused., murmuring gibberish that Magnus couldn’t make out any. He seemed like he forgot to breathe and Magnus couldn’t think of anything, other than to grab the back of his head and pulled him to crash their lips. Alec gasped and stopped fretting. He stared at the man in front of him in shock. He blushed when he found his hands wrapping over his shoulder firmly. He was not in the water anymore. He wasn’t shuddering cold. The day was bright and the sea was warm. It was nothing alike and he sighed. Magnus let go of him once he realized Alec was calmer.

“I... um.. I heard doing this can reduce a panic attack...” Magnus replied. Of course, of course it did. He forgot why he was in a panic for a second.

“I- I thought I was drowning… Was it long?” Alec said, feeling silly and ashamed.

“No. Only for 2/3 seconds, Alec. I pulled you out immediately.”

Alec hummed. It sure felt like 10 minutes or so but he knew he wouldn’t survive in water for 10 minutes so it wasn’t possible.

“Do you want to go up now?” Magnus asked considerately and Alec shook his head.

“It is okay. It is just- I felt like I was drowning. And then, something flashed in my mind like I have been drowned, at night…. it made everything worse.”

Magnus was silent and looked regretful. “You drowned once in my birthday party when you were a child.. I am sorry about that.”

Alec shook his head. “I remembered that but it sure doesn’t feel like it. It wasn’t like in a swimming pool. It felt like a sea or a river- a frightening one... But maybe it is just me thinking too much.”

Magnus didn’t say anything much. He asked again if Alec wanted to go up to the shore but he refused. He liked staying in the warm sea and he would stay as much as he could until Magnus’s hands would cramp. He giggled to himself because of the thought and spent some more time in the sea with him.

***

They had a nice dinner together with everyone and everyone had gone to their rooms to rest. Alec woke up at midnight again with a sneeze. He sneezed once and found out a widow on top had been opened- perhaps moved by the constant wind from the sea when it was not locked securely. It was super windy outside and he sneezed again, looking at the window with wide eyes. Spending the whole day at the beach was risky enough for a chance of being sick and he couldn’t let it open all night, not to mention he was cold. The last thing he wanted was being sick in their vacation and ruining everyone’s happiness by having to care for him. He couldn’t risk that. However, he could never reach the top shelf of window by himself either.

He grabbed his phone on the table and searched around in the contact list. His mom? Active 2hours ago… Great. She had always been an early sleeper. Underhill? Active 20mins ago.. Missed by a few minutes. He might have to wake him up again if no one was online by now. He checked again and found Magnus’s account with green light as Active now. He bit his lips adorably and send a message shyly, praying that he would be answered.

***

Magnus was video chatting with his friends, Ragnor, Catarina and Rapheal happily, rolling on his bed while he reported his day to them and the rest of the group endured his excitement while they were at it. They were curious to know about the first day of the trip but having to endure Magnus’s extravagant expressions was one thing. As usual, they were still excited to talk and exchange their day. As Magnus was talking, a message came up and he found it it was from Alec.

“Give me a minute. Alec sent me a message.” Magnus stopped from where he was talking, to reply Alec. The others groaned as they stared at the black space of the screen where it used to be Magnus’s. He could still hear them he wasn’t on video call anymore.

_“Hey, Magnus. Are you still awake?”_

_“Yes. What’s up, Alec?”_

_“Do you think you can get me some more blankets? I am cold.”_

Magnus looked around and found there was no extra blanket. Calling the reception at night would take time and he had a better idea(for himself).

_“Give me a minute. I couldn’t find more extra but I will manage something.”_ Magnus dropped their video call. The others were anticipating him from the moment he disappeared but he dropped the call without saying anything after some times and they were left fuming. He would have to make up for it.

***

Alec blinked when he saw Magnus walked in with new blankets.

“I couldn’t find any extra so I brought mine for today. I will ask the reception tomorrow.”

“Then, what about you?” Alec replied, feeling bad about the favour.

“I gonna spend the night here. It is only fair since you need my blanket.” Magnus grinned and Alec blushed.

“O-okay..” He swallowed. “Can you also help me close the window at the top? I- I can’t reach it.”

“Sure. No problem, Alec.” Magnus waved it off and came back to the bed after securely shutting the window. Alec was under his own two blankets. Magnus helped him with two more blankets he brought and securely tucked him in. Alec blushed when Magnus came up to the bed.

“I don’t need four layers of blanket. I will just use one.” Magnus laughed. Alec had full four layers of blankets but Magnus just get under one blanket on top of the other three. The rooms had two pillows each so Magnus grabbed one.  After positioning himself to be comfortable on Alec’s bed, Magnus finally got the time to look at Alec and found Alec was looking at him.

“You okay?” Magnus asked, his voice sounded low and raspy.

“About what?” Alec frowned, his light hazel eyes narrowed from it.

“About the evening? I was so worried when you were hyperventilating... It was almost like you couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what to do.”

“I- I really couldn’t. You saved me.” Alec replied, a pink blush came up on his cheeks and he turned his gaze to the ceiling. He was in panic but Magnus.. he- he pressed his lips on his and blew out the air into his mouth, distracting him and reminding him to breathe. _It was nothing... It was nothing..._ Alec forced his self. _Of course, DON’T fall for your adoptive brother. He was not like you_. Alec bit his lips and sighed.

“Let me know if your back is hurting. Or if you need anything.” Magnus worriedly added.

Alec shook his head with a small smile. “I have everything I need nearby. John made sure of that before he went off.”

Magnus hummed. Alec didn’t want to sleep yet but he didn’t know what to talk about. He didn’t want the conversation to end. He didn’t want the moment to end. He was finally at peace with Magnus and he was being nice to him. He was so happy.

Alec was internally agonizing over not being able to say anything. Then, Magnus came up with something about a ridiculous fashion show and Alec listened, smiling to whatever he was enthusiastically saying. Magnus took out his phone and they watched over video clips on facebook. Then, they talked, and went on youtube again. When they both couldn’t stop yearning, only then, they put the phone aside and prepared to sleep. Both of them fell asleep with a smile.

***

Syfia knocked and entered Alec’s room to wake him up. What she saw was both of her sons, sleeping peacefully and Alec being cocooned by Magnus under the blankets. She grinned and bit her lips as she stared at the scene for a short few seconds and took a few snaps with her phone for memories. She then closed back the door gently not to awake them. However, Magnus was woken up by constant phone vibrations from his friends a few minutes later and he rushed out to answer them in order not to wake Alec up.

Alec woke up later alone but not entirely so when his mom came in and asked him to wash up and come out for breakfast before their outing day. She also helped in choosing his shirt for the day and put them on his bed before she left the room for Alec to wash up and change. Half an hour later, Alec came out of the room to join for breakfast. Magnus looked up to see Alec in Light blue shirt and navy blue three quarter shorts and he gave a smile at the boy. Alec smiled at him back before he greeted Syfia and Underhill, both of them flashed with the nice and peaceful memory of last night. Both of them found it sweet and jovial.

Their vacation had been great, starting with a trip to the Zoo after their delicious breakfast. The Zoo was much bigger than the one in New York and they haven’t been to one since five or six years ago. As soon as the car stopped, Magnus and Underhill helped him to his wheelchair and Syfia placed a folded shawl on his lap. He smiled and thanked her with clear excitement showing on his face. Alec loved the animals. The trip started with the monkey cages, to the giraffes and tigers’ cages. Alec was having so much fun and so did everyone. Alec tried to push his chair by himself but after an hour or so, he was exhausted and he gave up. The adults gladly took turns to help him.  

While he was looking at the lions’ dam and trying to snap a few photos with Syfia’s DSLR Camera, Magnus looked at his watch and said it was time to go. Alec dumbfoundedly agreed to it since Magnus looked so laid back earlier about babysitting him but pouted since Magnus started rushing him and he hadn’t gotten a shot yet. Magnus suggested that he could come back again later for it and hurried with him. Magnus was early. There were only a few people in the fenced area and Magnus got Alec and himself a seat just in front of the fence.

“What is this, Magnus?” Alec asked confused. “It has to be a show?”

“Yes, The Elephant show.” Magnus replied, waving at his mom and Underhill coming towards them from the area entrance. They waited for like fifteen minutes and a crowd was starting to form. Then, the show started as trainers and elephants coming into their view. Everyone was clapping. There were a lot of tricks and Alec was having a fantastic time.  He found it was so amusing about how smart the elephants are. They all had a great time watching the show and they were glad they got the chance to see it. At the end of the show, a trainer lady spotted Alec in his wheelchair just near to the fence and she walked close to them at the other side of the fence.

“Hey, what is your name, kid?” She asked Alec, eye shining and full of kindness. The tag on her shirt read _Olivia_.

“Alec..” He replied, a little stunned.

“Tell me, Alec. Do you like animals? Especially elephants?” She asked with a grin.

“I like all the animals.” Alec beamed and she smiled, handing him over some sugar cane pieces. Alec unconsciously took them, not knowing what to do so he looked at Magnus. Magnus didn’t know what to do either so he looked back, confused.

“Wait here, kid. Okay?” She shouted happily and joined back to the trainers and elephants group. When she walked up again a minute later, she brought out a small tiny elephant with her. At first, she was walking and gesturing the baby elephant to follow her. And then, she started running and the little baby ran after her, until they got close to where Alec and his family was waiting again.

“Alec, meet Momo. Momo, this is Alec.” She grinned. Alec was so amazed. Momo was looking at him and her eyes were struck to the sugar cane in his lap. Alec laughed and Olivia encouraged him to hand one out to Momo. Alec did and she just took the cane piece with her trunk and put into her mouth to chew.

“Wow.” Alec exclaimed happily and laughed. “Oh my god, she is so cute.”

“I know right. Gosh, Momo is born in front of my eyes. She is like my child. You see how soft and gentle she is? She is too used to people. Give her one more, Alec.” Olivia instructed and Alec did. At the second piece, Momo seemed to trust them and even rubbed her trunk to Alec’s cheek. Alec was squealing and laughing because he had never been close to one. He gave another piece and while she was chewing, he gently patted her head and she let him. Alec was overjoyed.

After Momo’s last sugar cane piece, Syfia patted the gentle little grey animal. Olivia leaned over from the fence and smiled at Alec. “Alright, we gotta go. I have to take her back to the camp. You had fun today, kid?”

Alec nodded. “I did. It was amazing. Thank you for this... everything.” Alec gestured with his hand as he was unable to choose any words.

She smiled. “You are welcome and I am glad. Take care and get well soon, kid.” She bid them farewell, gestured Momo and took off together back to her group. Alec was still smiling when he turned his face to his family. 

“It was just.. Wow!” Alec beamed. “This is so cool.”

“It is cool.” Magnus replied with a chuckle. He liked animals as well but it was probably insignificant and incomparable to Alec’s love for animals.

“I am glad you get to experience like this. It is very nice of her.” Syfia said.

“I am glad you pulled me from New York to here. If I stayed at there, I wouldn’t get to pat a baby elephant at all!” Alec said and she couldn’t help but giggled and gave him one big hug.

“You are always welcome, baby. You deserve a holiday. See? Going out isn’t so bad.” She replied as she gently swapped away a strand of messy hair on his forehead to the side.

Alec nodded. They went back to Lions’ dam per Alec’s request and visited around the zoo for more. He had so much fun. They came back around early evening, rested in the bungalow for a while and came out for the sea sunset. All of them are on sea benches, sipping coconut juice or cocktails and enjoying the sunset view of the sea in the subtle cooling evening weather. Alec had thought it was nice and great to be alive.

***

The next day, they decided to chill in the bungalow. They walked around the beach in the morning after breakfast with Alec since the beach was also wheelchair accessible and camped back in the bungalow during the afternoon heat. They all sat on the floor and played card games. Alec won the most in Monopoly but he had no luck in the Uno ( _He would never forget Magnus’s famous Draw four, Draw two and plus twos._ ). At the evening, they made sand castles and Magnus took him to the sea when he wanted and they sat in the sea close to the shore where the water level was just around a foot or two. Finally, when he started feeling cold, Magnus took him back to the bungalow so he could shower quickly with warm water and changed into warm and comfy clothes plus curled up in blankets. He appreciated that.

The day after, they went to visit the famous sea aquarium. They were under the sea and the fish were swimming around them or over their head. There were also fish tanks separated according to their species and it was just mesmerizing. There were also amazing water shows and he was so thrilled to be seeing them performing live. Alec got to pat the dolphins again in one show and in the other, the whales splashed water on them. He was drenched but found himself laughing. So were everyone. After the show, they needed to change into their spare clothes but Alec didn’t even mind a bit. The Hawaii vacation was the coolest time in his life. For the aquarium visiting, they used up the whole day in the aquarium until night time so they just came back, washed up and rested in their respective rooms. Magnus came in to just to talk with him and accompany him until both of them eventually fell asleep peacefully again too.

One day of a satisfied beach-outing, Alec was leaning on the sea bench, sunning and sipping his mango peach juice as he stared at the sea glittering with reflections of the sunlight. He thought how good they treated him and how lucky he was to have Syfia, Magnus and of course Underhill as well in his life.. then, there were Jace, Izzy and little Max who he could see soon after as Dr. Maryse Lightwood had promised. Then he thought and muttered something to Syfia who was sunning on the next bench beside him.

“Mom..” His whispered, his voice audible barely.

“Yes, baby?” The reply was immediate. As if she was paying attention to him all the time.

“I- I was thinking... that I have a nice life.. I am well cared by you and everyone.. Maybe.. maybe we could lessen her charges...”

“Anna?” Syfia frowned and looked at him over her sunglasses.

“Yes, I think maybe we can forgive her when we get back to New York..” Alec pleaded. Syfia was in awe. Finally, she didn’t say anything back but kissed his forehead gently, praising her son for his kindness and leaned back to her bench. A small smile appeared on Alec’s lips and he also leaned back down, sighing contently to the sunset and the sea.

 

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Soooo, what do you think of the chapter? Our Sweet Angel is having fun. :')  
> And do leave a comment of your thoughts below! <3  
> Some angst might be coming later!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, Lovelies..  
> I am sorry for the long break.  
> There was a lot of chaos happening to me and I was really depressed. Orz  
> Now that my internship was over, I slightly felt better and just accepted that I should live in presence. xD  
> Here is the new chapter and the arc I was looking forward to it coming.. SO IS MALEC Romance. Hahaha xD  
> I should be able to update this often more, once a week I hope?  
> I hope you enjoy it and do let me know what you think. ♡♡♡
> 
> ***

***

 

Alec had a blessed ten days of vacation. Everyone had. They had travelled all around Hawaii, swam in the ocean, visited attractions and markets. Their minds were well-rested and refreshed. It was finally time to head back to New York, their home. That trip was one of their best fun trips ever and they all agreed that they should travelled again in the next six months or so.

Alec and Magnus seated together in the plane on their way back to New York. Magnus was kind and caring. He loved to joke around and make Alec laugh a lot. Alec loved to see his pretty face, so perfect with makeup and his warm brown eyes shining and crinkling in laughter. He was definitely falling for his adoptive brother...

As soon as they had landed, they were so tired and jet-lagged that they just ordered pizzas and let Underhill stay for the day in their guest room. They just wanted to rest. The vacation Bungalow was nice and comfortable but it wasn’t like their home. They just stayed at home for the next 2/3 days and watched movies and chilled on their living room couches with all those meals, pizza and popcorns. Syfia called Maryse to ask for a day break from his usual therapy Wednesday and Maryse had agreed, just telling him to take care and stay well-rested.

On the next Wednesday session, Alec was excited to go to therapy to see his two therapists, Dr. Maryse and Anna. When Maryse saw him, She hugged him tightly with a wide smile and complimented him that he looked healthier. Alec couldn’t help but was so pleased.

“You’ve got a nice tan! It suits you so well, Kid.” Maryse said as she broke away from the hug and walked to their physical therapy room.

“Thank you. The vacation was very fun. We had a good time.” Alec replied as he wheeled along beside her. He looked up as he remembered about Anna. “Dr. Maryse, can I ask you something?”

“Hmm? Ask away, Alec. I will tell you anything.” Maryse beamed looking at the sweet boy.

“H-how is Anna? How did her surgery go? I am hoping to see her after my session.” Alec asked and something had flashed on the doctor’s face. Her face stiffened for a second but immediately smiled up when Alec looked up at her.

“Oh- look, Elijah and Victor! They are excited to see you, Alec. They told me they missed you last week. You were off from therapy like over three weeks?” She cheered and Alec frowned, not getting his answer. But his two therapists greeted him cheerfully and surrounded him with questions that he was distracted from his mind. Meanwhile, Dr. Maryse smiled and walked away from that room sneakily.

Therapy was long and tiring. He hadn’t had one in the last three weeks so he felt like they were all new again. He had to endure his inner embarrassment again too but he bit his lips and tried his best. He worked on his hands’ strength and he found he had got the control really well. Of course, his hands were fine. It was his legs. He tried to wriggle his toes and moved his legs but nothing new happened. With a sigh, he let out the breath he was holding while he tried to move and Elijah just gently patted his shoulder.

“Alright, that is it for this week. Just relax, Alec.” He said.

“Thank god, I thought this will never end.” Alec muttered with an eye roll as his head fell on the table he was laying on. Both of them laughed.

“Thank us.” Victor said with a wink and Alec groaned. He helped him back on his wheelchair and they all started to exit the room. Maryse was standing at the door to greet him.

“How was it?” She asked them. Alec shrugged.

“He worked hard. He deserved some rest.” One therapist replied and Alec thought it was just a nice way to say there were no improvement on his legs.

“Well done, Alec. Thank you, Victor and Elijah. I will take him from here.” She told them and they left. “Come on, Kid. Syfia texted me she is on her way to pick you up in ten minutes. I will wait with you at the ground floor.”

Alec nodded. They started rolling around and Alec asked again. “Dr. Maryse, I want to know how Anna is? If there is any chance I could see her? I have something to tell her.”

“What do you want to tell her, Alec?” Maryse replied stiffly.

Alec inhaled. “That she is forgiven and she should only focus on getting better. I didn’t want to make her health worse when she goes on trial and gets punished. She is sorry, I know.. She just needs to be careful that a crash like this should never happen to anyone again.”

“Oh Alec…” Maryse looked shocked and sad. She grabbed on his hand gently. “She- she had passed away two days after her surgery.. There were some complications in her surgery and She didn’t make it..”

 The news had shocked him. He was stunned. He lost words. He lost sight. He was just speechless. There was void in his mind. Alec hadn’t known her much or for long. She was someone who crashed into him and almost killed him in the process. She put him through things that he had never expected he would be facing and when he had finally decided that he had forgiven her, just left like that. From what he had known, unlike him, she was cheerful and optimistic….

“Alec.. Alec.. you okay?” He heard Maryse’s worried voice and he gasped, only realizing that he was not breathing. She was gently patting his cheeks as she called him out and he stared at her absent-mindedly. Behind her, he saw Syfia running up to them and Maryse was freaking out with worries despite that she was a doctor. “I have to put you on IV!!!” She mumbled the words frantically as she squeezed on his hand and that made him snapped from his thoughts.

“No.. No.. I am fine. Please don’t.” Alec disagreed, knowing that it would prolong staying in the hospital unnecessarily. He couldn’t breathe well in there. He didn’t want to stay even for a second anymore. He had to get out of the building.

 “What happened?” Syfia asked worried and grabbed Alec’s hand. He held onto her tightly back.

“A- Anna has passed away…” Alec mumbled. “I- I just found out..”

“Oh god…” She gasped. She knew how much Alec was looking forward to tell her about their withdrawal from the case.. “Oh, baby.. I am so sorry.”

Alec shook his head. “Let’s- let’s get out of here, mom. Are we done?” He looked up at Maryse who just nodded sadly.

“Ye- yea. We are done for this week. Take care, okay? Call me anytime you don’t feel well. I suppose I will see you soon.”

Alec nodded and quickly rolled away. Syfia greeted the doctor fast and caught up to Alec hurriedly. Maryse stared at the back of Alec for a while before she walked back to her office with a sigh

***

Alec had been silent the whole way in the car and she didn’t know whether to give him space or distract him. Finally, she reached out to squeeze his hand gently and Alec looked up with a small smile.

“You alright, baby?” Syfia asked.

 Alec nodded. “It- it is just I couldn’t stop thinking about the whole idea of death. I- I thought she would be fine and get well while I- I might die first. This is just so scary.”

“You don’t have to worry about anything, Baby.” Syfia hugged him tightly. “You are fine. You will be fine. I will make sure of that.”

Alec nodded, smiled a little and didn’t say a thing. He kept quiet all the way and she sighed internally, worrying about her youngest son now.

***

Syfia thought Alec would be cheer up in a few days but she was wrong. He started being quiet and barely made a sound, only when he was asked and needed to reply. He didn’t participate in conversations and activities. He wasn’t active. And Syfia just wanted her cheerful son a week ago before the news back. She wanted to ask Magnus to be with Alec more but Magnus started working on their own company and barely had the time, even spending a night or two at Rapheal’s. She also had a company to run and it was the busiest time of the year again so her hands were full. Alec was alone in the house with his caregiver, Underhill, who tried to help as much as he could with Alec’s emotions but he could only do so much.

One day when Underhill caught Syfia before she needed to rush to the meeting, he told her that Alec seemed to be depressed and sleep deprived which upset her since she could only see Alec before she went to the company and after she came back home at night and Alec was still sleeping by that time she went out. By the words of Underhill, Alec seemed to be not sleeping at all at nights or not getting a good sleep plus sleeping a lot more in the day time which might be one of the symptoms of depressions aside from the changes in appetite, concentration and energy these days. She promised Underhill that she would fetch him in his afternoon therapy session that day.

When Syfia reached there in the afternoon, she saw Alec and Dr.Maryse talking and she was relieved. She walked over to them and Alec’s face brightened up when he saw her that she couldn’t resist but gave him a big hug. It was a few days already since they could talk well and she was glad Alec looked fine, for now.

“How was the session, Baby?” Syfia asked and Alec gave her a small smile.

“It was okay.. It was normal..” He replied, lack of faith in the session was obvious in his voice. Syfia smiled and stroked his cheek gently. Her son on a wheelchair, pale and getting thinner was a sight no mother wanted to see.

“Alec did well. He completed the test.” Maryse encouraged with a smile and Syfia nodded gratefully.

“That’s right. You did well.” The Asian woman grinned at her son. “Let’s go? I have the rest of the day off! We can get some groceries on our way back and I will make you whatever you want. Beef stew? Curry?”

Alec’’s cheeks were reddened by their compliments and he just ducked his head shyly. Both adults cooed internally but kept their lips tight not to embarrass him any longer. They thought everything was fine. As they reached to the ground floor and passed by the kids’ playground, Alec spotted something. He rolled his wheels apart from the two women to see it better.

The playground had been equipped with new play spaces and instruments. But what Alec had seen was a mascot drawing on the entrance board. He saw it on Anna’s notebook when he visited her once. He gulped as he read the lines on the board. “ ** _From Anna and Alec”_** He looked back at the Doctor behind him for an explanation.

Dr. Maryse sighed as she answered. “The Willows donated a new play space for kids. They have also made a foundation for the kids under your names. I was going to tell you later.. Alec. But I didn’t want to make you sadder for now.”

“What difference does it make?” Alec said, tears rolling down from his closed eyes. It started with silent tears and his shoulders began to tremble and then, Alec just broke, crying like a mess in his adoptive mother’s arms. They tried their best to comfort him but did not succeed that in a short time.

***

 Syfia had been trying to catch a hold of Magnus to talk about Alec but they didn’t have any luck. Magnus came by very late at nights or not at all for two or three days. He was very excited about refabricating Rapheal’s old garage into their new office and it took so much work since they wanted to be a high class office friendly working space where both office and cloth making rooms were included. They were also ordering a lot of fabric, sewing machines/equipments and accessories that they were so occupied, barely talking to their own families at night.

Alec was eating his breakfast in the kitchen quietly when Magnus came to the table. He threw the newspaper onto the table as he took a seat. Alec’s face immediately brightened. He hadn’t seen him well for nearly a week. Magnus looked pretty today.

“Hey, Alec. Hi, Mom.” Magnus greeted as he poured the cereals into his bowl.

“Magnus..” Alec replied with a shy tone. “Where have you been?”

“I have been busy.” Magnus looked up at him, mouth full of cereals. Alec didn’t know if the older one could see it but he felt flushed. “At Rapheal’s. We are making our office at his place.”

“I- I see.” Alec replied. “Will you be back home tonight?”

“Hmm.. I don’t know, Alec.” Magnus replied. He missed the disappointed face the pale boy had. “You know, today the silk from Italy will arrive. We will have to sort it out and store them. I will be busy with them for a few days, maybe. I can’t believe it. I have always wanted to work with Italian silk. And they are coming to me in a mass. I am so looking forward to it.”

Magnus continued about his work starting and Alec swallowed the fact that Magnus was so happy, excited and busy with his life currently. Of course, he was so full of life. What was he compared to the shining man? He felt his tears picked his eyes and suddenly lost his (barely existing) appetite. He put his fork and spoon back on the table but with a smile.

“But try to come back, okay? It has been a while.. we get to hang out.”

 _And I missed you.._ Alec didn’t say the last part but he swallowed it down.

“I don’t know, Alec. My hands are pretty tied but I will try, Alec.” Magnus smiled and shoved his bowl away before he got up from the table. Alec gazed along and If Magnus was paying attention to him, he might have seen the pleading teary hazel eyes. He ruffled Alec’s hair as he left the kitchen and Alec bit his lower lips as he heard their main door opening and closed.

Magnus came back home around eight at night. Alec didn’t get to talk to him much. He was always on phone before he went up to his room upstairs. Alec couldn’t sort out the emotions in his mind.. They were all depression, anxiety, vulnerability and helplessness. He didn’t want to voice out. He didn’t want to start talking because he knew he wouldn’t make any sense to anyone. Alec held them all in but they would explode on him soon.

They all did explode on him soon. It happened at the terrible timing. Magnus came down for breakfast and Alec asked when Magnus would be free with full of hope. Obliviously, Magnus couldn’t give him a certain answer and Alec was angry and pissed off. There was a small stinging fight happened on the breakfast table and both of them might or might not have said things they didn’t mean.  

“I don’t know what your problem is. I have other jobs to do, Alec.” Magnus replied him impatiently and Alec was on the verge of his tears.

“If you come home like decently, then I don’t have to nag. I know you are busy but I want you to be at home too.”

“Why?!” Magnus asked with so much disbelief and Alec couldn’t answer. Magnus left immediately and Alec was left crying on the table again. The adults did not notice.

***

Alec couldn’t sleep that night. At 9pm after the dinner and some conversation on the sofa with his mom, he decided to retreat back to his room.  Somehow, he felt very cold and his back was hurting.. a lot… Alec picked up his phone on the bed table. He knew Magnus came back home today. He saw him joining the dinner after Alec had yelled out “You are not even trying to be here!!!” in the morning. He joined, but he seemed like he was forced and didn’t even want to be there.

After reading a book and rolling a lot in his bed, he tried to sleep by chucking some painkillers and sleeping pills but neither of them worked. He was frustrated. He scrolled on his phone to see Magnus who seemed to be silent on all of his social medias and called him, at least, wanting to apologize and with a slight hope that he would be willing to spend the night with him just like a few weeks ago. He made him forget about all those pains and feel safe. Alec wanted that. The phone rang but wasn’t answered. He tried a couples of times before he gave up. Alec put his phone back on the table and tried to sleep. He was uncomfortable, in pain and it took him a long time to fall asleep.

***

The next morning he woke up, it was still early morning and he knew something was wrong. His body was in pain and sore terribly. His head was splitting painful. He tried to get up and move but he couldn’t move at all. The most he could move was his head turning side to side. Sweat rolling off from his face to the side as he realized he was feeling terrible and possibly paralyzed. He couldn’t even reach out to the phone.

In the next morning when Underhill walked into the Bane’s house, Syfia just walked down from the stairs.

“Good Morning, Mrs. Bane.” He greeted him.

“Good Morning, Mr. Underhill.” She replied back with a smile. “I just woke up to check my Alec. The past week happened to be the financial month of our company and it was riot. I couldn’t take care of Alec much.”

“It is okay, he will appreciate it.” Underhill smiled as he followed her to the room. When Syfia walked into his room, she knew something was wrong. Alec was in sweat and he looked at her with pleading eyes with fears. He was not moving at all though. She immediately rushed by his side to wipe away the sweat with her palm gently. Alec’s skin felt like burning on fire and he mumbled to her in between sobs which almost made her heart broke.

“I- I can’t… move… mom…..” Alec closed his eyes. It was too painful. “I.. I.. am.. scared.…”

“It is okay. It is okay, baby. You are going to be fine.” Syfia stuttered and looked at Underhill who just yelled he was calling an ambulance. As they waited for the ambulance, Underhill and Syfia tried to get Alec would of his sweaty pajamas. Alec moaned painfully from every movement and when they took off his pajamas shirt. He was too cold. The two adults quickly helped in changing his pajamas and wrapped him around with blankets. Alec was trembling from shivers and he was grateful about his comforter blankets. His mom held onto his hand during the wait and Underhill went out to grab some hot milk for him but he fell asleep/lost his consciousness.

When Alec woke up from all those movements and touches from the surrounding, he saw Dr. Maryse leaning down to look at him first and that he was in hospital. Alec tried to move but he just felt dull pain from his body and he still couldn’t move at all.

“Alec!’ Dr. Maryse exclaimed in surprise. “Good morning, Alec. Even though it is evening now…”

“I- I can’t move..” Alec stuttered. He tried but he couldn’t. It was as if his body from his neck down was foreign.

“I know, Alec. It is okay.. You hear me? Don’t worry so much. You are having a neurogenic fever which causes your body to paralyze temporarily. I am positive you will be able to move your hands soon.. maybe in a few days.”

Alec was surprised from her answer but nodded. “It better won’t go worse....” He whispered.  Dr. Maryse gently moved his hair away from his forehead.

“Trust me. You will be fine, kid. Now, try to rest if you can.”

“Where is… my mom? Also Magnus?”

“They were here for the whole day, Alec. But this ward has visiting hours. They had to go for today. You will see them tomorrow, okay? We will check if you need anything once every half an hour. Don’t be afraid.”

Alec nodded sadly. He felt alone and small and slightly abandoned even if he was not. He was stuck alone in the hospital again…

***

The next thing when Alec woke up, it was morning. He blinked and stared at the ceiling blankly. This was the first shock to him after he had finally accepted that he would be in a wheelchair but he had never expected like that. He didn’t expect the whole body paralysis and how scary it was to him. He wondered if it was going to be worse and worse, then what was the point for him to be alive? Everyone was busy with their own life. He felt like he was an extra… something they didn’t need…

He didn’t know how long he had been awake but he heard the sound of the door being opened and he turned his head to see Syfia and Magnus rushing into the room.

“Oh, baby..” She rushed towards him and wiped the tears away. Alec was happy to see his family and couldn’t stop his tears from falling.

“We tried to come to you as soon as the visiting hours opened. We have been waiting in front of the ward for an hour.” Magnus added in from behind and he couldn’t be more grateful to his family.

“We heard from Dr. Maryse. You will be fine, okay?” His mom coaxed him and he just nodded, completely disappointed in himself for not being able to move his hands or body.

***

It took 3 days for Alec to break his fever, be able to wiggle his fingers and toes and five days for him to move his body. It was quite embarrassing and discouraging for him but during the time, Jace and sometimes, Isabelle walked in and tried to accompany him which was the highlight of his time in hospital apart from his family. He was finally cleared after a week later and was able to go back to home. He couldn’t be happier. Jace came by occasionally to talk and hang out with him as well.

Another week after his discharge from the hospital, he gained some strength back and finally felt better about himself. He had to see a psychological therapist to consult with him for his depression once during his stay in hospital after he recovered from his fever and he was glad just once was enough. She was understanding, kind and easy to talk to. After their session, she winked at Alec and talked to his family without him. He sighed as he watched his family talking to the therapist. He could see but he couldn’t hear a thing from his room. He was told there might not be next session so it was a relief.

Now he was sitting in the Kitchen room eating pizza, hot wings and coke with Underhill, Magnus and Syfia as his little welcoming party. The pizza was great, his favourite of all time and the atmosphere was nice. Alec felt bad for asking Magnus to be around but he was glad he was here. After the food, Syfia talked in serious tone that made Alec concerned.

“Alec, you know we talked to the therapist and she suggested that you might be feeling lonely. We- we know we tried our best to be with you and take care of you but we decided that it would be the best for you to have your own friend.”

“I have Jace.” Alec replied in shocked, not knowing where the direction of the conversation was going.

“No. No. I mean someone who can stay in this house for a long time..” Syfia added and Alec’s eyebrows rose upwards.

“I don’t need another nurse, just saying. John is more than enough.” Alec added and Underhill narrowed his eyes at him.

“No. No. I mean as a permanent part of family..” At her words, he got more and more confused. Syfia moved away from her spot and Magnus came in carrying a big present box with black and pink decorations.

“Congratulations on your hospital discharge, Alec.” Magnus grinned and gently put the parcel box on Alec’s lap. Alec frowned and put his hands on the cover.

“Wait, before you open it, are you ready?” Syfia asked immediately and he nodded nervously. _What was in there?_

Alec lifted the cardboard paper box and in the mid-way, he heard a soft bark and he froze for a second but immediately remove the cover. There was a soft light beige fur ball in the box and when it looked up, he found soft warm big brown eyes staring at him. It was a Golden Retriever puppy and with shaky hands, Alec lifted gently from the box onto his lap.

“Oh my god… Oh my god…” Alec murmured, his eyes fixated only the puppy.  The puppy crawled on him and licked his face happily as Alec kept it close to his chest. His eyes immediately watered and he felt his life was so much better.

“His name is Otis. He is only 8 weeks old.” Syfia smiled, looking at her youngest son loving their new addition to the family. “He is all yours. Do you like our present?”

“Like it? I love it.” Alec sobbed, hugging the puppy tightly in his arms. “Thank you.. Thank you… Thank you, mom…” Alec spoke out from half laugh- half crying… Otis licked his tear strained cheeks and he couldn’t feel any happier. It was like all of his depressions clouds being blown away. He couldn’t stop petting the sweet little puppy in his hands. He was all his and he couldn’t feel anymore blessed. It was almost cruel that he suffered for weeks with depression and suicidal thoughts but they could just tear away his depression in a mere minute which he wished Otis could have been in his life sooner. But it was okay.. He had him now…..

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> So what do you think, sweeties? Do leave a comment below. (●♡∀♡)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii, lovelies.
> 
> Thank you, thank you so much for reading this fic.   
> I really appreciate you guys being here on this chapter.  
> Those who have been here with me since the day one, I love you so much.   
> Now on with a new chapter. I hope you will like it.
> 
> Nevertheless, here is the next chapter.
> 
> ***

***

 

 Magnus felt like shit. He stared at Alec sleeping in the white hospital room. He felt guilty.  
The vacation had been a bless. He had fun. They all had fun. He enjoyed spending time with Alec a lot.. every minute of it. He enjoyed watching him smile, laugh and giggle in shyness, his pale cheeks going dark red. It was adorable. It was illegal. It was everything Magnus wanted to see. When he reached back to his own room from the vacation, he stared at the ceiling and missing the boy who was just in downstairs. He grinned at the thought of him smiling. He grimaced at the thought of missing him. Shockingly, he realized he might be in love with him…

So Magnus started to indulge himself in work.. Spending more times at Rapheal’s.. Playing games, going to clubs… hangover at Rapheals’.. or Cat’s.. or Ragnor’s… Their new office was being put together too so they were busy. Then, in a week or so, Magnus started to dodge Alec around the corners. Alec tried to talk to him but in the process of running away, he felt scarier to face him alone and uncomfortable to talk to that boy. Alec was underage.. and just a boy.. who probably might not think of him the way he thought about him. And supposedly, they were adoptive brothers. There were so much complications. He told himself that he needed time to process.

So when Alec wanted to spend time with him, he ran away. When Alec asked to come back home in the evening, he internally freaked out and told him he was busy. That whole day, he couldn’t sit in their office well but was just so anxious and he left immediately back to his home when it was time for dinner. Alec didn’t talk to him. He didn’t start talking either. It was awkward.

Alec rang his phone later at that night. Magnus was surprised. He wanted to pick it up but some part of his mind didn’t want to and he didn’t end up answering. He stared at the call blankly and watched the call ended. Alec rang him twice. It was his chance but he blew it again. He fell asleep, heavy-hearted that he didn’t let Alec talk to him. He had hoped that he could talk to the poor boy in the morning. Alec deserved that at least.

He woke up to the sound of an ambulance and it scared him when he saw the paramedics running into their house from his window. He rushed out immediately to the downstairs and walked into Alec’s room where the crowd was. Alec looked sweaty and sick between the two paramedics and his eyes were closed. After checking, one man informed his mother that they were taking him to the hospital, Magnus wanted to follow him. But, his mother told him that they would go first and Magnus to catch up later. He had no choice but watch the boy taken away. Only he was left in his home alone... anxious and regretted.

When Magnus finally caught up in Hospital, he felt a mix of relief and guilt meshed together. If he had answered to him earlier last night, it wouldn’t had happened and Alec wouldn’t have to suffer like this.  Dr. Maryse explained to them that it was a neurogenic fever which was non-infectious kind of fever common in patients with head injury or spinal cord injury. It was good that he was brought to hospital immediately to be treated or otherwise, it could cause damage in his brain as his fever was as high as 104. Magnus sighed as he watched the sleeping boy and wondered if they could have been avoided this kind of situation if he was with him.

When they saw Alec cried seeing them after waking up, his heart melted right there in that very spot just behind the door. He was stuck on a bed and couldn’t move himself except some movements of his head. It made his heart swell. What the boy wanted would be a pure company of him while he might be thinking in a different way. Maybe he was too occupied with himself that he completely forgot to look at Alec.

Magnus sat down on the chair beside the bed when Maryse and Syfia walked out of the room to discuss. Alec’s droopy eyes followed his moved. Magnus let out a small smile and reached out his hand to his forehead gently to check his temperature. It was still burning up but at least, they were in hospital so he was relieved and reassured that he would be taken care of well.

“Hey…” Magnus smiled at Alec.

“Hey..” Alec’s hoarse voice cracked up and he himself winced at the sound of that. That didn’t sound pretty. It hurt to speak as well.

“How are you feeling?” The older one asked, swiping his hair away from his forehead gently.

“Hurt.. my whole body feels so sore. And it feels like I have been slammed and K.Oed. I can’t move.” Alec cracked a joke of himself to lighten up and Magnus swallowed the sharpness edge of the words.

“It is okay. They said you will be able to move soon.” Magnus replied.

“I know.” Alec’s lips curled upward insignificantly but Magnus didn’t fail to notice. He grabbed one of Alec’s hands resting on the side near him.

“Can you feel it?” Magnus asked and Alec just nodded, opting to avoid verbal answers as much as he could for now. His head was splitting aching.

“I am sorry I didn’t respond to your calls in time. You wouldn’t have to suffer like this if I did so.” Magnus whispered and his voice sounded so defeated that Alec frowned and tried to squeeze Magnus’s grip as much as he could to reassure him. Holy- That hurt him like a bitch. The nerve pain was generated from his fingers he attempted and went straight up to his arm. He had to grit his teeth not to let out a painful moan out of his mouth.

“It is okay.” Alec voiced out finally. “You didn’t know. I didn’t know I would be like this in the morning too. I just wanted to apologize.”

“Oh, Alec… You have nothing to apologize for. I have been stressed out lately and I think I took it out on you. Therefore, I am sorry too.”

Alec beamed and Magnus fall for his shiny sparkles in his hazel eyes again. Alec was overjoyed would have squeezed his hand if he could move. Magnus stroked his hair gently and Alec felt warm and at peace, almost as if all of his anger and frustration on Magnus had disappeared.

“Are you tired now?” Magnus saw Alec yawned and Alec nodded, almost falling back to sleep. He tucked him in gently as the other couldn’t move. Magnus watched him as the other fall asleep, with a lot of thoughts going in his mind.

In the afternoon when he woke up again, Syfia fed him some porridge and he tried to comply, half embarrassed because he was being treated like a child. However, there was nothing he could do at that time so he gratefully accepted their care. Magnus read him a book later as well and he loved that. He finally got to spend some times with him and now he was feeling guilty, occupying the other’s time for him.

He could also watch the bedside Tv from the hospital as well. He couldn’t change the channels so the others had to do that for him but it wasn’t much of a task for others. Anyone from his family or any nurse in their round would help him change the movies when he wanted. It was a little frustrating others people could easily do what he couldn’t for now but it taught him patience and gratitude of when he could use his arms. He would appreciate so much about when this so called neurogenic fever broke and back to moving his hands and body again.

Then, at the third day afternoon, Alec was bored and alone, watching the show the tv was showing uninterestedly. But then, the door opened and Jace came in with a bright grin, followed by Isabelle, scolding him about knocking first, but nevertheless, smiling. Just by seeing them put a smile on his face.

“Hey, buddy” Jace grinned, standing by his bed. “I heard from mom that you are here so I have to visit you.”

Alec rolled his eyes at that. Currently, he was very proud of being able to roll his eyes to show a part of his sass.

“Yes, have you heard that I am mainly paralyzed and stuck to the bed too?” Alec asked.

Jace grimaced at that. “Yea. Sorry to hear that, bud. But mom told us you will get better very soon.”

“She told us so we could see you. It has been a long time.” Isabelle chimed in and Alec nodded.

“Yea. It has been some time.” Alec thought back to the last time.

“We had school. It is over though. Now we are on a vacation.”

“Still, mom put us through cram school!”

They talked nonstop and Alec’s brain had to work fast to catch up with what they were saying but he had fun. They kept him company and he had never had any friends outside of his house since they lived in remote place of Brooklyn. He liked them and also loved the feeling of having friends who wouldn’t leave him alone in a hospital room. He didn’t feel small not being able to move but enjoyed their company. His room got so much livelier than earlier.

Then, when they were about to leave, Magnus came into the room. His eyes wondered around Jace and Izzy for a while but he kept his smile, thanking them for accompanying Alec. Alec bid them goodbye but he was promised they would come tomorrow too. After that was the lunch time which Magnus fed him some porridge and he savored the way Alec’s face was bright red like a tomato from all of his teasing and coaxing to eat as he fed this shy boy. Magnus had that stupid (but pretty) grin plastered on his face and Alec just wanted to peel his own face from embarrassment with an apple knife, if he could move, that is.

 Then, Jace came to visit him the next day when Alec and Magnus were talking together. Alec was able to lift his arms from the bed now and they were testing it, celebrating happily while Jace arrived. Alec shared the good news with Jace and his golden mismatched eyes shone with joy while Magnus’s cat iris narrowed as he eyed the other. Neither of the boys had noticed but oh man, was he jealous. That jealousy bug grew and grew bigger in the older one’s heart when the blonde boy kept visiting Alec’s room almost everyday.

***

Magnus was so relieved to see Alec getting better everyday. There was a therapy test just now about muscles control and Alec was able to lift a slightly heavy weight successfully from appointed place A to B. Alec grinned, demanding to be released from the hospital soon now that he felt better. The two women’s hearts weren’t made of stone. They promised to get him back to his home as soon as possible.

 When they brought him back home, Alec was happier but became somehow quiet and reserved. That boy seemed like he still loved to be around them but he stopped being in a conversation. He would just listen and smile as if he didn’t matter in the house. Magnus hated that and tried to bring him into conversations, only to receive a shake of his head as no and a nod or some shortened answers. It was as if he was trying to minimize or conceal his existence.

So they arranged a psychological therapy session for Alec. Everyone was waiting at the other side of the glass, Alec and the psychiatrist were in. Syfia, Magnus, Maryse and Jem were standing on the other side impatiently but quietly. After thirty minutes of silence, the psychiatrist broke down the matters one by one to their relief and reported back that Alec just needed a companion, perhaps a therapy dog for his own physical and mental health if he was fond of animals. Knowing Alec was a dog lover, they worked on it immediately, searching through the breeds which would be the most suitable for Alec. Of course, they came down to a goldie.

Right now, Alec was crying happily while hugging his new puppy in his hands and it was the most emotions he had shown for weeks, or months. They couldn’t help but tear up a little in their eyes. Magnus gently ruffled his hair and Alec looked up with a genuine smile with tear streams on his face. Magnus smiled back and took hold of his hand, expressing that _everything would be alright and he would be there for him_.  

***

In another couple of days, When Syfia and Magnus had works to do, the lightwood siblings visited the Bane’s house, including Max. They talked, ate and played the cardgames together. Alec liked Max so much and so did Max. The little boy liked it when Alec told him a face about whales or dolphins or the world wonders and Alec liked talking about them. They played video games as well. They used four video games consoles, making a team of two each. Alec smiled when they won and little Max danced around happily cos he had never won among his older siblings. Pairing up with Alec got him the first win. Alec became Max’s favourite person in the world.

They also played with Otis. Otis was not familiar with the other guests so he barked at them first, only calmed down when Alec stopped him. Then, Izzy loved him so much that she tried to cuddle with him and he ran around, desperately climbing on Alec for safety. Alec laughed as his puppy clung onto him. It made his heart warmed that at least, Otis was all his. He calmed down his poor puppy and told the others not to disturb him. Alec cradled Otis on his lap and finally let them touch his soft brown fur. Only then, Otis let them and the teens were so thrilled.

When it was time for Jace, Izzy and Max to go as Dr.Maryse came and picked them up, there was a blank feeling in Alec as the house suddenly became so quiet. Alec waved them goodbye as they got onto the car and Otis waved his tail happily at them. When Otis looked back at him huffing with his tongue sticking out, Alec couldn’t help but chuckled because finally, it was peaceful for Otis, no more chasing from the Lightwoods. Alec reached his hands out to the puppy and he let him pick him up onto his lap in the chair. Otis was light, soft and warm, an incredible furball with tons of sunshine in him. Alec just loved him so much.

 

Jace and Izzy came by at least once a week. Alec was glad but couldn’t shake off the feeling like he was taking their time. However, everytime he felylt down, Otis made him all better. Sometimes, Alec went to their garden and watched Otis running around on the grass or played fetch with him. Otis was particularly attached to Alec, not sure about accepting only Alec as his master or Alec had been home most of the time. He listened to Syfia because that nice lady always gave him food and was kind to him but not to Underhill and Magnus. Sometimes, Otis acted like he didn’t hear when Magnus called him out, especially when he was playing with Alec, his own master. Magnus snorted at that. Cheeky little dog, reminded him about when Alec just arrived into his family.

A couple of months went by in a daze. Alec woke up, ate, took meds, played with Otis, ate, took nap and med again, talk to his family, ate and bedtime again. It was basically his routine and he became sick of it. At one time when Alec was sitting on the living room’s floor, playing fetch with Otis by throwing his favourite football in the house, Magnus whom he hadn’t seen for a few days walked in for his breakfast.

“Watch the vases, Alec.” Magnus spoke and Alec rolled his eyes from the very place he was sitting. When Otis brought the ball back, he just took it out of his mouth and just hugged him for a cuddle. Otsi whined because it was no more playing but he leaned onto Alec’s hug, pawed his arms gently to try to comfort him. Magnus eyes at him because he wondered if he had just told Alec not to play in the house, which he hadn’t meant it that way.

“I didn’t say ‘Don’t play’ though.” Magnus added worriedly but he thought it was too late.

Alec groaned. “It is okay.” He mumbled as he rubbed Otis’s back gently. His eyes were fixated on Otis to distract himself. Magnus didn’t like it.

So he walked toward Alec and crouched down beside him. “hey, I am sorry I hadn’t been home lately. It is just I was so busy, you know? I haven’t even got some times for my spa time.”

Alec snorted. “I know.. You don’t have to explain. Also, I have Otis now. You don’t need to take your time for me.” His hands kept petting his soft fur.

Something panged Magnus and his eyes went narrowed from that unexpected answer. All of his previous feeling sorry or worried was all gone and all what replaced was dark distaste. Anger and insecurities ran through his mind that knowing Alec being a great dog lover, loving and being so attached to Otis was understandable but was it possible to be alright not bothering about him, a living person, in Alec’s mind? Maybe it was a bad idea to worry about him. Maybe it was a bad idea to give him a pup because Alec could easily replace him with a dog when he had missed him every day, even when he was busy in office.

“Great. Wait a while and see if he could grow two feet to carry you around.” Magnus bitterly spoke. For a 24 years old, it was real mature of him but he didn’t care anymore.

“what was it supposed to mean?” Alec’s eyes widened in shock. “Magnus??!” He called out when Magnus got up back to his feet.

“Oh, since you have made such a great friendship with Otis, you don’t need me anymore to entertain you, right?” Magnus glared at him and was about to walk out of his sight. Then, his heart skipped a beat as it jumped. He felt immediate tug on his hand as Alec gripped his hand tightly.

“Magnus… You know I didn’t mean like this.” Alec’s voice was soft as a plea and his anger disappeared in thin air. Magnus sighed as he softened.

“Are you going to work now?” Alec asked as he looked up at him. Magnus shook his head.

“I don’t have to go until 2. I have some times.”

“Then, would you like to sit down with me? Otis isn’t familiar with you much yet. It is a great time. He will like you if you play with him.”

His brain didn’t give him much choices but to sit down. So he did, leaning down the sofa and watched Alec scratching behind Otis’s ear. Otis barked at Magnus but Alec shushed him. Magnus put his hand on Otis’s head and gently petted him. Finally, Otis let him, enjoying the pets by two owners of him. Magnus glanced at Alec laughing softly from Otis rolling over the floor and he thought no view could have been prettier than this.  

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Magnus is starting to have feelings for Alec and kinda showing possessiveness.  
> Next chapter might be surprising and even the next next ones might be shockingg!  
> I can't wait to show you guys what I have in store. I promise I will update very soon.  
> Do leave comments about your thoughts. <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, lovelies..  
> This is a difficult chapter to write. I didn't like how it turned out first so I had to rewrite it twice.  
> There it is. All the mistakes are mine.  
> I hope you will hang on and give them a little more time. ;)  
> After some twists, I promise everything will be okay...
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you will enjoy it. 
> 
>  
> 
> ***

***

 

Alec was playing with Otis happily until he felt Magnus was staring at him. He felt flushed all over and his hands scratching Otis had stopped which made the needy puppy whined. Alec looked up and met the brown eyes of the other. Magnus gulped and Alec watched the movement of his adam’s apple going up and down once. He wanted him. It was his turn to gulp as Magnus reached out his hand to cup Alec’s face. They couldn’t break the eye contact even if their own self told them to. The tips of Alec’s ears were red and a deep blush on his face was obvious. Pale skin, deep jaw lines, plump lips, deep blush… all the innocent features were captivating Magnus, not to mention his own good self-sacrificing, innocent mind of Alec meanwhile Alec craved for Magnus’s attention, kindness and care, with a bonus of his great-looking utterly hot self.

Alec stared at him, a bit hopeful. His breath hitched when Magnus moved closer to him. But it turned to a soft caress of his cheek and Magnus got up, saying he had to shower now to go out without looking at Alec. Alec blinked, dumbfounded and unsure. He looked down at Otis sadly and he was staring right back him. Alec just cradled his little puppy in his arms. He had fallen for his dazzling adoptive brother who was just so handsome, talented and amazing while he was not. His first love sucked.. it was purely unrequited love.

Then, when Magnus came back for the dinner in the evening, he didn’t look at Alec in the eyes. He was avoiding his gaze and Alec could feel that which made him so sad. When Magnus mentioned about their company opening ceremony, Alec felt out of place. Even when the three of them were sitting in the same table, Magnus talked about it staring at his mom. Syfia didn’t realize but happily agreed to come to the ceremony. Magnus mentioned about it being held on the Grand Hotel at the 34th storey ballroom in three weeks.

“This is so exciting! I am so proud of you, son.” Syfia beamed.

“You better, mom! There will be a lot of celebrities and journalists coming. It is going to be the biggest party ever.”

Magnus said, grinning with so much pride in his voice. Syfia was so proud. Alec gulped and poked his prawn in his plate. He was in a chair. He was nothing. It felt so out of reach.

***

3 weeks later,

Syfia was wearing a yellow frailly dress. A bright long dress paired with sparkly heels suited her petite body and caramel skin so much. She had gorgeous wavy curles and big diamond earrings made her look so grand. They all made her look better than a Hollywood celebrity in the event, Alec thought. She smiled when Alec was looking at her from the couch with awed eyes, gazing.

“How do I look, baby?” She twirled around and the frills flied in the midway as she moved.

“You looked amazing, mom. You are so beautiful. I bet all the celebrities will be jealous of you when you reach there.”

Syfia grinned. Alec was so unknowingly witty and he always said what he really thought so she was very pleased.

“Magnus made it for me. He is really good. I have to say it to him. Even though he messed around, he didn’t fool around in this. He will really make his name in that industry.”

Alec smiled, agreeing to his mom. Syfia touched up her makeup and she was almost ready to go but frowned when she saw Alec was still in his home clothes.

“Alec, where is your suit? Why are you still in your Tshirt? We need to leave in fifteen minutes. Go! Go and change. Do you need any help?”

Alec shook his head and dug behind the cushion. “No.. I am not going.”

“Alec.. Why!!!” His answer made the mother shocked. She had never expected this answer. “You didn’t like the suit Magnus made for you?”

“It is not that..” Alec shook his head sadly. “Mom, there will be celebrities and journalists and all those big people from the industry… Trust me.. You don’t need me there. You don’t need to bring a burden to anywhere you go. It is not my place to go there.” Syfia and Magnus would be shining in the crowd while his presence would only cause them rumors and gossips behind. He didn’t want to embarrass them. Moreover, Magnus didn’t look at him when he mentioned about that. He made a tux for him but did he really want him there? Alec didn’t think so. 

“Alec!!! Stop saying like that!” Syfia was angry. She plopped on the couch beside him, deflated. Alec stared at her in wide eyes as she took off her heels. She was almost going out. Alan was waiting by the car in front of the patio. She picked up the remote and started changing the channels.

“What are you doing, mom? You are going to be late.” Alec asked hurriedly.

“I am not going.” She huffed. “I am not leaving you alone.”

“No. You have to! Magnus is waiting. He was so looking forward to it.. Mom, please.. you have to go for him..” Alec pleaded.

“Then, how can I persuade my youngest son to come along with me? Our plan wasn’t just me going alone… Alec, Mom don’t want to go alone… How could I? Leaving you alone like this.” Syfia gently ruffled Alec’s messy hair. Alec gulped down the lump in his throat.

“I don’t want to go, mom… You- you know how much I hate crowds.. I- I might also get anxiety attacks with people. Bringing me there is trouble.. I want to stay at home, mom.. Don’t make me go there. But you have to go. You look so good. Magnus would be so happy.”

Syfia stared at her son, so considerate and thoughtful for his age.. “Are you sure you are not going and there is nothing we can make you come along..?”

Alec shook his head, sadly but determined. “One of us has to go along though. And it is you, mom. It is okay. I have Otis. I am not alone.”

Syfia sighed and her shoulder sagged. Then, her phone rang and it was Magnus, asking them to come down quickly. Just after the phone ended, she thought for a second and rang another phone. She got up as she talked and Alec didn’t get who it was but he didn’t mind anymore. He scrolled down the channels and watched a movie about a Halloween killing spree absent-mindedly. Soon again, Syfia came back and plopped on the couch again.

“Mom! You should go by now!!!’ Alec exclaimed and Syfia frowned at him so he pouted.

“I am not leaving you alone like this. Give me fifteen minutes. I have arrangements.” His mother said sternly and Alec had to accept that at least. He had caused enough scenes for today. About fifteen minutes later, the bell rang and Syfia got up to open the door. Alec looked up from the familiar noises and saw Izzy, Max and Jace walked in happily. Izzy hugged Syfia tightly as a greeting and almost dropped her eyes on the older woman’s dress.

“Oh my god, You look so good, Mrs. Bane.” She squealed. “You look like an actress now. Oh my god.. so pretty!!!”

“Thank you, Isabelle. It is Syfia, always. You should call me by that now. Thank you, thank you for coming by last night. My idiot son didn’t want to go at last minute.” She rolled her eyes at Alec who just facepalmed on the couch. He was embarrassed. Of course, she would do something like this if he rejected about going to the ball.

“I brought games.” Max yelled, carrying a lot of game boxes in his hands. Everyone looked at him, fondly.

“No worries, Mrs. Bane. We are on holiday. We are free anyway and it is always fun to hang out with Alec.” Jace reassured him.

“Then, I should be going. I am already late. I have already ordered pizza for everyone. They will deliver soon, okay? Please, please, take care of Alec.” She asked them. “Please don’t let him be sad.” She whispered the last sentence not to let Alec hear that.

The other kids promised that to her and she finally left in a hurry. Izzy and Jace came and sat on the couch, Max on the floor while he happily unboxed all those card games, Otis huffing and running around him. A pink blush still lingered on Alec’s cheeks but he was happy that he got to hang out with them. His mom made sure he would still get a good time as best as possible.

***

Magnus was so happy how the party turned out. Everything was according to their plan. And there were a lot of celebrities and big names showing up on the event much more than they had expected. Their parents’ names helped in making the party grand as well. No one wanted to miss on the event when their parents owned the big name companies. When his mother came out of their limo, she was just so stunning. Magnus was so proud but when he reached out to help Alec, he wasn’t in there. Magnus frowned and annoyance started building up in his chest.

“Where is Alec, mom? Is he okay?” Magnus asked.

“I- I couldn’t ask him to tag along, Magnus. Alec didn’t feel like going… He was worried he might have any panic attack in the crowds and that he might give us trouble...” His mother replied, quite apologetic. Magnus was disappointed… and furious. He was so looking forward to Alec seeing how achievement but he was rejected. He started feeling a pang of headache and he just messaged his temples with his finger.

“Never mind. Who wanted him here?” Magnus replied bitterly. Syfia looked at him in shocked eyes.

“Magnus, don’t say that! I know you are looking forward to it…” She spoke and Magnus just blinked away that angry tears welling up on his eyes.

“Never mind, Mom. You look stunning tonight. Let me introduce you to the chairman Elle Magazine and many others... Prepare yourself. You gonna meet a lot of people.” Magnus offered her his hand and Syfia looped around his hand with a smile.

“Let’s get this over with and go back to Alec fast.” She replied, smiling as she followed her son.

***

Work was work. They dressed shiny, kept a smile plastered and impressed people but they craved for a cozy sweatpants/pyjamas and couch at home. Not to mention that Alec and Otis were there.  That just made them want to rush home. A celebration without Alec felt like something was definitely missing. Before they knew it, Alec was home.

The event finished around 9pm and Magnus and Syfia still had to show up at after party. Just after they greeted everyone and talked a bit, they just directly head to home. Magnus rushed out immediately into the house as soon as their car stopped.

“Alec!!!” Magnus yelled out as he entered. “Alec! Where are you?”

“I am here.” Alec shouted back from the living room behind the couch and Magnus walked straight to it. Alec was not alone. There were three other teens, Jace, Izzy, Max and Otis, looking up at him. They were surrounded with half eaten pizzas, take-outs, card games and even Ps4 open. They seemed to be having a great time. He didn’t even have to be sorry or worried about.

“Magnus, Don’t worry. I asked them to stay with Alec.” Syfia came in to comfort him. She passed by him and greeted the kids happily. Magnus internally rolled his eyes and felt so letdown. So he wasn’t as sad and lonely as he would think. 

“Let me just wash up and I will watch this together with you, okay?” She  promised the kids and went upstairs to change. Alec looked up at Magnus and still found him staring in this place.

“Magnus.. Join us. Mom’s favourite serie is coming up.” Alec called out. Magnus wanted to just sit down beside Alec and stared at the television. He was exhausted. However, beside of Alec was Jace and Max each and there were also Isabelle and Otis chilling out together in a pile. He shook his head.

“I am tired.” He sighed. “I am going to sleep.” With his reply, Alec lowered his head, deflated but Magnus just walked passed by them. He didn’t feel like socializing anymore. He had enough for today. Magnus just spent an hour in his hot bubble bath and tried to talk his mind of Alec but it wasn’t as enjoyable as he would have liked.

***

“Magnus.. Magnus, wait up.” Alec rushed to wheel himself faster as soon as he came out of his room for his breakfast and saw the older man getting up to leave. It felt as Magnus wanted to leave as soon as he saw Alec.  

“What?!” Magnus muttered with a scrowl, paused from his steps. He internally cursed himself as it sounded more dejecting than he intended to.

“It- it is just that I haven’t seen you for a long time. Have you been busy? How is your company doing? I- I remembered I haven’t seen your office-..”

“What do you care? You didn’t bother to show up in the opening!” Magnus shouted from his space and Alec flinched.

“I do! I do care. That’s why I didn’t come to the party. You don’t need me ruining your image there. You guys look so good. What is the point of bringing a burden like me there?”

“You are never a burden!” Magnus yelled back. “We- we should talk…”

Alec nodded, slumped against the back cushion of his chair. “We should. I hate not talking to you. You get angry easily. And you take long if you get sulky.”

“Huh? The pot is calling the kettle..” Magnus muttered. A small smile curled up on his face, betraying all the anger for the past two weeks, Alec noticed his behaviors. It was sweet.

“Maybe in the evening... I have to go now.” Magnus said again and Alec nodded, eager that Magnus started talking to him. He couldn’t wait for the evening.

***

When Magnus came back, they decided to go out for a walk.. Well, Technically, a stroll around the street… The weather was nice in autumn, just starting to get cold for the winter. Magnus had his jacket on, and made sure Alec wore a flannel jacket over his Tshirt and a thick towel over his lap. Alec strolled his wheelchair and Magnus walked alongside with him, holding the lash of Otis as they took him along as well. Otis was so happy, swaying away from the pavement and jumping on the grass.

“So…” After fifteen minutes of outing, Alec started. Magnus stopped and blankly stared at Otis who was running around happily without knowing the two owner’s eyes fell on them awkwardly.

“So, the weather is nice” Magnus started and sighed, because it wasn’t what he wanted to say.

“Yea.. it is getting a little chilly though.” Alec agreed. He always had low resistance for coldness.

“I will be blunt. You should stop thinking yourself as a burden, Alec. We love you. We are supposed to be family. We will take care of you when you get sick. It was what we signed up for when we accepted you in our family.” Magnus blurted out after a short silence. Alec lowered his head from the guilt.

“I- I know.. Magnus.. But I can’t help feeling that way. I feel that your work will be done much faster if I don’t involve. I- I was trying to give you guys space..”

“We are giving you space, Alec. Mom didn’t say anything because she was worried that you would feel anxiety in public. She wanted you there. We wanted you there, because we want to show off and introduce to the guests as the whole family. I didn’t like the fact that you didn’t come along. I didn’t like it when you thought of yourself as a lower person. I didn’t like your way of thinking yourself as a burden to others.. because you are not. You are precious in my family. Both of us love you.” Magnus blurted out. Alec stared at him in wide eyes.

 “I- I love both of you too.. Magnus..” Alec said, shaken from emotions, after a moment of silence. “I am sorry.. I tried not to give you guys too much trouble.”

“You love me..?” Alec asked shakenly but when he registered the words- **_Both of us love you_**... He was so happy to hear that from him. He had never heard that from Magnus. It was like the best day ever in his life. He thought his adoptive brother would never love him. He would be nice to him at most but he never thought he would ever say that. “…like a brotherly love? Of- of course...” Alec added immediately so that Magnus wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Being brothers was enough. He didn’t have to know…

“What I feel about you would be more than as brothers. I love you, Alec. You started as someone I didn’t like but you’ve grown on me, Alec. You are kind, caring and innocent. Maybe that was all what I have been looking for. I love you more than being brothers.”

Ale gripped on the handrail tightly. He had never expected that. He never thought that Magnus would feel the same way like he did. A tear dropped from his eyes. He was happy, overjoyed but in a mere second, sadness took over his mind. He could never have him. Because just look at him.. he was feeble, adopted, handicapped in a wheelchair.

“No.. No.. Tell me this isn’t what I am thinking…” Alec pleaded Magnus. But Magnus was staring at him intensely.

“I love you. I have feelings for you. I am certain. I want to spend time with you. I want to show you my work. I want to lift you up from this chair and kiss you right here. I want to show you off to my colleagues proudly.”

Magnus’s eyes were shining brightly with determination. Meanwhile, Alec’s eyes were glistening with tears. It was all what he had wanted but was it now?

“I wanted that too.. But- but we can’t.. Magnus. We can’t..-” Alec stuttered. _We can’t because I don’t want to disappoint Mom.._

 “See? You are doing that now, Alec. You are thinking too much..” Magnus said with a sigh but Alec shook his head frantically.

“We can’t. Magnus we can’t. You deserve so much more than me. I- I’m not worthy of you.”

“Alec…” Magnus murmured sadly.. Alec wiped away the tears from his eyes roughly and sniffed.

“Thank- thank you for telling me that, Magnus. It was all I have wanted. I wanted to hear that since the day I saw you. You are amazing. You are such a great person who can make your name even internationally. You deserve to be with someone who can support your name with fame..” Alec sobbed and Magnus was just speechless..

“Alec, what if I only want you to be with me?”

“Magnus.. what if mom doesn’t like the idea? What if mom hates me if I do it..? Please… please.. Magnus, our lives are just too different. Don’t make me worse than what I already am. I don’t think I can survive if even one of you will hate me..”

Alec pleaded and Magnus swallowed the lump in his throat. He reached out to cup Alec’s face and gently wiped away his tears. Alec softly leaned into him, silently sobbing.

“Okay…” Magnus finally said. “I- I will keep it to myself. But don’t worry too much, okay? Maybe things won’t be as bad as you think.”

Alec didn’t say anything. Magnus leaned in to kiss his cheek softly and Alec closed his eyes to accept it.

“Promise me that you will try finding others. Maybe- maybe one day, you will find you really love whoever is worthy of you, Magnus..” Alec smiled a little in tears.

Magnus stared at him, his heart breaking into pieces. He just shook his head. “Let’s just go home, Alec..”

And the boy nodded.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Soooo, what do you think? ;)  
> Poor Magnus.. and Alec too...  
> Spoiler Alert, In the next chapter, Magnus will talk to his mother and someone might return.  
> See you soon in the next chapter, sweeties.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii, lovelies.  
> I am sorry for my absent for quiet a time.  
> I had been busy and I just didn't like how my writing turned out.  
> But here it is, after so many changes- On with another chapter.
> 
> Thank you, Thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate so much as this is one of my favourite fic to write. You all mean a lot to me.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter, sweetie. 
> 
>  
> 
> ***

***

 

Alec’s heart was breaking and falling into pieces. He just heard the words he wanted the most. He should be happy. And he was… but along the short-lived happiness, came the heavy sadness. Magnus loved him but let’s be realistic here. He did not deserve Magnus. No mother would appreciate their child loving something like him. So that was that. His first love crashed even before it happened. Alec was devastated but he was contented just with that. Best he could have hoped. It was painful but he was happy. As much as it hurt, the first love was worth it.

He threw himself to the bed and cried facing down on his pillows as soon as both of them arrived back home. Alec loved and wanted Magnus. But he believed that it was for Magnus’s own good. A part of him scared that Syfia would hate him if he did no matter how much she loved him now. If she found out that her only son, the soon-to-be-a-shining-star, Magnus was in love with him, she might force him out of the house. Alec loved her so much. He wouldn’t want that. Moreover, Alec was scared that Magnus’s kind of love wouldn’t match with his. Magnus could still meet a lot of people and fall in love again.. he couldn’t. He loved once and maybe that was it. Moreover, there was also a tiny bit of voice inside his head, what if he became one of Magnus’s flings.. Sure, he would never survive that.

At the other side, Magnus leaned onto his door as soon as he entered his room with a blank void inside him. He slumped down to the floor, pulled up his knees and covered his face with his hands. He was rejected.. He had never been rejected before. Just when he was serious, he was rejected and he took it hard. It felt like there was nothing that could console him.. However eventually, he would have to get up and act normal/ usual as if nothing had happened. Magnus let the tears fall. It was hard when you truly wanted something… and you were just punished by previous mistakes/ earlier relationships. Maybe Alec didn’t trust him enough. Tomorrow, he would try to act normal but tonight, let the rejected man cry and be himself…

***

Alec was at the breakfast table when Magnus came down. He was already helping Syfia and he gave Magnus a small smile when he spotted the glittery one. Magnus smiled at him back and softly kissed his mother for a good morning greeting. The mother smiled, carrying some plates of breakfast she made. The other two thanked her as they ate and finished up. It was surprisingly normal.

Then, Magnus didn’t try to pressure Alec. He was embedded in work. He actually had to design some clothes for the portfolios of his own and for the company. Just after they had made some, there were always some celebrities willing and eager to purchase their works so in the end, they had to make another and another again as the circle repeated. The celebrities wore them adorningly and they had made fame in a short 3 months of time. Their Clothing Company, **_Edom Clothing Co._** , was doing so well.

As they had made names, there were more demands naturally and they started to build networks. They were often invited to parties of celebrities, fashion shows and award ceremonies. They met so many celebrities along the way. They met a lot of celebrities, models and influencers- some of them tried to be friendlier than they would had liked, especially there was one called Maria. Magnus thought she was just friendly and liked their clothes, but later suspected that she might be flirting with him. So he tried to stay distant but the more he stayed away, the more she attempted.

***

Magnus was celebrating his 25th birthday.  As usual, his party was a bomb, glitters, holographic shiny confetti, colourful ballons everywhere. There were drinks, cupcakes, and appetizers portrayed beautifully in the house. There were some people, but only those who were dear to him. The lightwoods, the Santiagos, the Loss, the Fells and some selective friends whom Alec might be comfortable with. They were having a great time until Magnus heard a door bell. It was Alan.

“Magnus, there was a car parked right in front of your gate and a girl is screaming your name nonstop. Do you know her? Should I open the gate?” Alan asked.

Magnus frowned and looked up to the gate. It was Maria again, jumping happily as he saw her and waved her hand at him. Magnus internally groaned and thought of what to do.

“What is going on here?” Syfia asked, poking her head over the main door. “Magnus, do you know her?”  
“Yes, she was a colleague. She modelled for one of our designs. But I didn’t invite her!!!” Magnus replied.

“Well, send her in? Since she was here already and saw us celebrating us so it is only polite that you let her.” She thoughtfully said and Magnus had to agree, despite that he didn’t want to.

Alan opened the gate. She drove in and parked just in front of everyone’s cars, blocking the way but she didn’t seem to care. She walked to him happily but seductively in slow motion, which took all of Magnus’s willpower not to roll eyes in front of her so he did internally.

“Why are you here?” Magnus asked, wondering what brought her here or how she knew about the party.

“Well, I was wondering if I should drop by or not and there were a lot of cars going into your house and I saw those party decorations so I figured you are celebrating a party. I wanted to join!”

Magnus rolled his eyes. It was stalking. Damn! She was persistent. He had no choice but to let her in. She happily entered their house and saw those familiar faces like Ragnor, Rapheal and Cat. Ragnor and Cat frowned and they were confused about her presence while Rapheal just scoffed and walked towards the opposite side, clearly showing that he didn’t like her or wished to socialize with her.

“So what is the occasion?” Maria asked, shaking Ragnor’s hand as a greeting. Cat frowned in disbelief.

“This is Magnus’s birthday.” She asked, looking at Magnus who just stayed a few feet away from them.

“Really?! Oh my.. Happy birthday, Magnus darling. I am sorry I didn’t bring any present. I didn’t know.”

“It is okay, you don’t need-..” He tried to brush off the greeting but it was cut off when she just jumped on him, grabbed his face and smooched his cheek. Magnus, as well as the rest of the room, was stunned. He gently removed himself from her hands, his eyes, shining and narrowed like a cat with hatred.

“That is my first present for you, Magnus. Maybe we can have something more later..” She winked at him, softly purred with a seductive tone. Magnus didn’t like it at all.

“I hope you like those lemon cheese cupcakes. Maybe take some back to your house. I am sure your schedule is busy.” Magnus forced her out but she didn’t seem like she was going anywhere.

Then, Otis rushed out, happily wagging his tail and barking at Magnus as he dropped his toy he was carrying. He wanted to play catch in the house, especially when it was crowed. He wanted to curve around all the humans he knew and liked, except this stranger wearing barely covered clothes and badly bleached hair. Otis showed his fangs and barked at her, not the kind of soft happy barks at Magnus but growling angry barks.

“Shoo. Shooooo. Dog. Stay away from me.” She yelped, driving away Otis rudely with her hands and Magnus was fumed with anger. How dare she?!

As Otis barked at her angrily and chased her, she ran inside of the house. Magnus wanted to face-palm and scold Otis, for not chasing her out in the opposite direction.

“Otis! Otis!! Stop!!!” A soft and kind voice came out of the dining room. It was Alec who was sitting on a dining table chair as he was snacking with Jace and Max. When he saw a girl running towards him and Otis chasing her mercilessly, he had to stop it.

Otis whined and ran towards them which Jace grabbed him off the floor and put him on his lap. The girl chuckled nervously as she fixed her clothes crumpled from the rushed running.

“Th- thank you..” She mumbled. Alec shook his head politely.

 “Hey, you are one of the models on Playboy magazine cover.” Max shouted enthusiastically and Jace, Alec and Magnus(who was following Maria) froze.

“Max!” Both Alec and Jace’s exclaimed came out at once.

“Max, how do you even know? You are too young!” Alec frowned. He didn’t know who she was. He had never cared about Playboy magazines or anything in his life.

“I only saw the cover!!! I saw it in Jace’s room when he asked me to bring his laptop.” Max explained back, proving his innocence and throwing Jace under the bus at the same time.

Jace cleared his throat and shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He gave a small grin to everyone and sank back to his chair.

“September Issue. It was the bestselling of the year.” She proudly announced it and looked back at Magnus. Magnus uncomfortably joined in the conversation and they took a seat in front of them. Alec stared at Magnus as he discussed about the dress she wanted. Magnus was good-looking as heck and there was a model rumored to be dating in the house. There was a lot of things on his mind that Alec didn’t catch anything Jace and Max were saying anymore. He was in deepest of his thoughts when Magnus walked her back to the car. He saw her walked in and kissed Magnus at the front. She was into him. Was Magnus interested too? Alec could just bite off the jealousy growing in his heart.

***

Magnus sighed when he finally saw Maria’s blue car left the gate. When he was trying to make her go home while they were in dining room and just when he was about to succeed, she still kissed his cheek again for a goodbye and Alec clearly saw that, by judging his glare at him. He couldn’t have him thinking he would find someone new within this short period of three or four months so he would need to try to explain to him later when the party was over. At least, he had to tell him that they were nothing.

As Magnus walked back in, Alec tried to avoid him. He sadly ducked his head away as soon as he saw Magnus walked in. He went quiet and went to Max who talked nonstop as soon as he saw Alec. Alec sadly pretended to listen to whatever the youngest was saying. The most dangerous active volcano in the world might be an interesting topic but not for now. Not when he felt his heart clinched and hurt in every second seeing Magnus with a model. He was so jealous. It hurt.

“Alec.” Magnus called out and the book Alec was holding almost slipped out of his hand. He immediately grabbed his hold on the book and looked up at him.

“Alec, you have been staring at the book for thirty minutes..” Magnus frowned. “Also, Max is going back. He has school tomorrow.”

“Oh…” Alec murmured.. “OH.. okay.. Um.. Max, I will see you soon then?” Alec smiled apologetically. Max nodded a little sadly because he didn’t get the answers for volcanoes. “I am sorry, buddy. Maybe I will tell you more when you visit next time?” Alec ruffled his hair, earning an enthusiastic nod and a tight squeeze from the younger kid as he bounced back to the living room.

“And Alec, did you have fun today?” Magnus asked, both watching the trail of Max running back to the Lightwoods, earning a chuckle and an eye roll from the younger.

“Well, yea.. I guess. It is always extra. It always has to be extra for you, Magnus.” Alec smiled without actually meaning it and Magnus didn’t buy it. He walked closer to Alec and sat on the edge of the dining table casually to make himself comfortable. Alec was in his chest level and he couldn’t help but had to look up for a peek. His purple smokey eye shadow was on as fierce as a cat. He had shimmering highlights on his cheeks. A scented light lips gloss was on. And everything… everything of him was perfect.

“Well, This birthday turned unexpected though. For instance, I didn’t invite Maria. She saw the party and decided to walk in. So this is the first ever.” Magnus sighed. “Well, you have become famous, Magnus.” Alec pointed out. “It is not like the last year. Who knows what about next year.”

“I- I guess. But I want you to know that, Maria meant nothing to me other than a colleague. My feeling hasn’t changed, Alec. It couldn’t change merely in those 2- 3 months. Hell, it could never change, I think…”

“Maybe you should. Magnus, This- this…”

“How long are you going to keep rejecting me, Alec?” Magnus asked, his voice hoarse from the pain from the broken pieces of his heart.

“No.. Not until we are equal.. until I am worthy of you.. But Magnus, let’s be real.. I can never be someone worthy of you. You could have gotten anyone you want. L-look at me. I am hideous... I am adopted from the street. I am struck in a chair. May-maybe it is for the best.”

“Alec, shut up. I don’t want anyone except you. It had to be you. And I will wait. I will wait until we grow old and when no one wants you or me. Then, you will realize.”

Alec gulped. His heart was jumping in his heart. _Be still._ He asked himself but his heart pounced up and down more.

“well- In- in this case..” Alec spoke out. Magnus looked at him, trying to be smug and was going to ask about what Alec could do.. but the lapels of his coats was grabbed and their lips crushed.

Magnus’s widened eyes could see the shock in the other young man’s eyes. He was worried about the instant regret. When Alec pulled away quite frantically, Magnus grabbed the back of his head and went in for another kiss. He was a master of kissing but for Alec, just a light soft warm touch of their lips felt suffice. Their lips touched and Magnus’s lips gently nipped on Alec’s soft and plump bottom lip. Alec relaxed in his arms and did the same. At that time, all he felt was contented. After a few gleeful seconds, he let go, gently opening his eyes. He could see Alec did the same, lost in the kiss earlier. Alec seemed blurred, and then he blinked, until he started stammering gibberish words.

“I- I.. oh my god.. I did it… No. No. I really did it- what have I done-“ Alec covered his mouth immediately.

“Alec, Alec.. Calm down, okay?” Magnus grabbed his arms immediately.

“I made a mistake-“

“No, you didn’t. Tell me it is not a mistake because it felt too real for me.”

Alec went silent. Then he spoke. “I told myself no for all those times. Magnus, you could make anyone love you. I have been in your charm for a long time. I didn’t say it because it would make things weird in between us. Then, you are out of my reach. How- how could I?!”

Magnus was speechless. “Then, why did you keep rejecting me? I made clear of my feeling a long time ago.”

“I don’t want to be a nuisance in your life, okay? You are so much more than I am. Maybe dating celebrities or marrying a well-known figure will make your future brighter.”

“Then, what about my happiness? What if I can’t be happy even if I am successful?”

Alec was speechless. Magnus got closer to his pale face.

“Do you want that, Alec? Me married off to a well-known figure and unhappy in life all the time?” He nudged him, gently taking in his hands on his laps. There was a faint blush on Alec’s cheek as he realized he had been wrong. Finally, he shook his head with a darkening blush.

“I need you in my life to be happy, okay? Alec, don’t.. don’t ever reject me again.”  Magnus gently kissed his hands. Alec’s blush darkened and he tried to take back his hands but Magnus wasn’t letting go. With a smile, he leaned in for another kiss again. This time, no resistance, no rejection. Simply soft touches, lips crashed, soft nips in a sweetest moment.

_Happy Birthday, Magnus._

***

After Magnus walked Alec back to his room, spent a few hours there accompanying him and cuddling to sleep, he tucked him in and closed the lights as he quietly left the room. Alec was quite shaken up, unassured and doubtful, wavering if he had made a mistake. Magnus had to tell him that, this, them, was never a mistake and that he would always take care of him. Gosh, he loved that little insure kid to death. How adorable he was. It was almost as if Magnus’s happiness all depended on him.

Magnus was humming happily as he came up to his bedroom. As he twisted his doorknob, there was a shadow behind him.

“Mom?” Magnus swallowed his saliva as he turned around.

“Happy?” his mother replied with a knowing smile. “I think I have never seen you this happy, Magnus.”

“Of course. This is like the best party ever, mom. Everything is going so well. Except that little uninvited thingy- but it worked.” Magnus shrugged with a grin.

“Oh..” Syfia tiled his head. “What about you kissed Alec earlier in the dining room, son.”

Oh, Magnus was dumbstruck on the very spot in front of his room.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> Sooooo, I get you what most of you guys asked. ;)  
> In the next chapter, there will be Mother- Son talks, the person you might be expecting reappears and some (heavy) angst. xD  
> I can't wait to show you my next chapter because (I dont know about you but) I AM SCREAMING) ASDFHGKLD  
> See you soon. Please leave a comment, sweeties.. ^^)/


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiii, this is new chapter dayyyy.  
> And I like to wish you guys "Happy New Year".  
> 2018 was a roller coaster for me. I accomplished some goals but some, I didn't.  
> Hopefully, in 2019, I would be filling some of the gaps I needed in my life. :D 
> 
> I wish you guys A Happy New Year and may you fulfil the goals you like to meet. All the Best for you and may you be happy and healthy. （*’∀’人）♥
> 
> Also, this is kinda long, 4.5k words? which is more than my 3k a chapter point. xD  
> I hope you like it. Tellme your thoughts below if it is like tooth-rotting, diabetic fluffy and sweet? Haha  
> I hope you enjoy the chapter. Thank you, thankyou so much for following this fic. I am so glad you guys are here with me along the journey. ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡
> 
>  
> 
> ***

***

 

“Oh..” Syfia tiled his head. “What about you kissed Alec earlier in the dining room, son.”

“Mom…” Magnus finally muttered, but confused. “H-how.. how did you know?”

“I saw it with my own eyes. Please, you weren’t secretive either. In the dining room, Magnus!” Syfia looked at her oldest son, eyes flared up as she waited for the answer.

“Mom…” Magnus gulped. “I fell in love with Alec.”

The mother went stiff. She did see them kissed. She had questions. But when one was met with blunt answer instead of the witty, twisted ones her son might have answered, it was normal for her, not being able to react immediately. She blinked a couple of times, staring at her oldest son who was watching her with worried concerned eyes.

“I am sorry, what?” She asked again in disbelief.

“I fell in love with him. I asked him months ago. He had been saying no. But tonight- tonight, he kissed me. We kissed. So-“

“Since when?!” She roared. Then, she cleared her throat, not wanting to let Alec and Otis hear if they might have, who were sleeping downstairs.

“After the accident happened!!!  He proved his kindness and loyalty. He showed us his vulnerable side. He is beautiful, inside and out. That is all I ever wanted. Everyday, I saw him struggling because of us. Then, I fell in love with him more and more.”

His mother took a sharp breath. She was still looking at him worriedly.

“I don’t want you to go into a relationship with Alec, Magnus.”

“Mom, Please-“

“Not because there is anything wrong with Alec but I don’t even want to think about consequences when you two will split. Think of your exes. It never ends well, Magnus. I rather want you to go date those bikini models than hurting my other son.”

 “Mom, I will never hurt him!!!” Magnus protested loudly. He was furious his mom would have assumed that.

“Maybe- or maybe not. Sometimes, things happened even when you don’t do intentionally.” Her voice was shaken, but the undeviating look in her eyes were not. Decisive, determined and fierce.

“Mom-“

“Magnus, I want you to take care of Alec the rest of his life, even when I am gone one day. In order to do that, you have to be in a good relationship with each other.. Hopefully, a nice simple one. Not like romantically, when you could break his heart.”

“I am not breaking his heart. Please.. Please, mom. I will never hurt him, I promise. Let me be with him. Let us get your blessing..”

Syfia was silent. Her gaze fell onto that faux fur carpet and she didn’t know what to think anymore. However, they needed to talk it out now, right in the moment.

“Does- Does Alec love you back the way you love him?”

“I- I don’t know. He said he loves me but that couldn’t happen… He was worried he wasn’t worthy of me- which was nonsense of course. He is perfect to me, Mom…”

Magnus pleaded her. He had never begged his mother like this about anything. It was the first and he was desperate. Syfia didn’t say anything for a few second but opened her arms. He immediately rushed to hug her tightly.

“Magnus… Don’t never ever hurt him.. You have the responsibility to take care of him Remember? Whatever happens, you have to take care of him.”

Magnus nodded, while he leaned in and rested his chin on her shoulder. “I promise, mom. Really... I will treasure him.”

She just nodded, patted his back gently and went inside her room. Magnus gulped, standing in the corridor alone.

***

When Alec woke up in the next morning, it was 8:30am which was a bit later than his usual waking up time. He knew his family would let it go for this morning as they just had a wild party yesterday. When he remembered about what had happened last night, a blush crawled up on his face and he covered his face with a groan as he fell back onto his pillow. Gosh, what had he done? Maybe he messed up the whole thing but it couldn’t be taken back, could it?

When he greeted Syfia in the kitchen, she gave the usual smile, a kiss on his forehead and a plate of rich breakfast. Then, Magnus came down, all dressed up for work. They shared a brief glance at each other and Magnus gave him a comforting smile. He grabbed his plate and came to sat near Alec.

“Hey..” Magnus started.

“Hey..” Alec whispered back, absentmindedly poking his egg on the plate.

“Good Morning. How are you?” Magnus looked down at him with a fond smile.

Of course, Alec was blushing. He bit his lower lip adorably before he replied. “Good.. Um, thank you for asking. How about you too, Magnus?”

“Splendid. Thank you. Alec, I want to talk to you about last night-“ He was distracted by a loud gasp of Alec who seemed he was shocked to death. He went pale immediately. Magnus felt like he would get out of his wheelchair and run away immediately if he could.

“Mag-Magnus…” Alec stammered but Magnus cut him short with a look.

“Alec, Relax. Mom knows.” Magnus quickly added in but Alec couldn’t find out how it would help him. Was he screwed?

“Mom, Listen to me please. I- I am sorry-“ Alec tried to explained but his words failing him.

“Alec, Don’t say sorry. You don’t have to apologize about that.” Syfia finally talked with a frown. “Last night, Magnus talked to me about that. Is- is it real?”

Alec nodded before he spoke. He was scared, everyone could see that but he did not falter and look away from the lady which warmed Magnus’s heart so much. “I love him..” Alec admitted. And Magnus just felt better than winning a million-dollar lottery. Because Alec was different. Alec was all he ever wanted. This kind of love was very new and foreign to Magnus.

“And whatever happened, Magnus will be the one to take care of you the rest of your life. Is that clear? Honestly, Alec baby, I am just worried what if there will be any breakups or fights that you guys wouldn’t want to look at each other anymore in the future? Gosh, what am I saying? Is mom even making sense?” She sighed, trying to massage her each side of temples with her one hand. Alec hugged her tightly.

“It- it is okay, mom. I know that he would always be there for me whatever happened. Even- even if he gets married to another woman, or anything.. That is what I am afraid of but it is fine with me. I will accept whatever. I am not worthy of Magnus.. I don’t deserve him and you.. But I still want to be loved. I am just so selfish..”

“I would never.” Magnus argued, taking offense in Alec’s words. He knew the younger boy’s had low self-esteem but he didn’t think it would be this bad. _How little did he just think of him?_

Syfia just chuckled and hugged Alec tightly, her eyes a little bit sparkling with tears. She stroked his cheek lovingly. “Don’t say that. We are lucky to have you.” She whispered. “And it is not selfish. Alec, you are over eighteen now. Magnus is twenty-five, which means both of you are considered adult age. I won’t say anything. I just want you to have a safe, worry-free life. Magnus will take care of you and Mom will try my best to support you two, okay?”

Alec nodded and hugged her tightly. He was crying because he was worried to death of angering Syfia. It was the problem he had since the day he realized he was nothing related to the Banes and just adopted from the street. Even when Magnus hated him, she was always there for him. When he just got her approval and reassurance, a load in his heart was just vanished and he just clung onto her, hugging her tightly. When he felt Magnus joining the embrace, he just chuckled and extended one hand to him, welcoming him.

***

Alec was in his comfortable home clothes – a sweatpants and an old soft tshirt plus his winter socks, casually lying on the living room sofa, a bowl of popcorn in his hand on his stomach and a soft crochet blanket covering his legs. He was supposedly watching the television and eating popcorns but it was hard to focus when the programme showing on the television is something he didn’t like and he was all cuddled up in Magnus Bane’s hand. Magnus was also lying beside him, demanded that Alec would lean on him and use his hand as a pillow despite that there were cushions around that. So he was staring at the television show- project runway blankly and with a blush on his face, trying hard not to think about Magnus and how pleased he was. He prayed that his stupid grin wouldn’t betray and show up on his face.

Being with Magnus was amazing. It had been two weeks and Magnus had been so kind, sweet and considerate. He felt loved, he was loved. Magnus was just so witty and loving when he actually decided to love someone. He now thought of it was how it would be like how his previous ex would have felt dating him, because it was one thrill of a ride. Magnus was kind, caring and cheerful when he didn’t hate on anyone, the best boyfriend material anyone could ask for. Alec had felt both side of the world and Alec was glad he did. Of all the people, Magnus chose to love him, even for now. Maybe when there were ever a time they have to separate, he would cherish the memory as long as he lives.

 Thinking about living, Alec wondered so much about that too. As the winter approached and the cold and snow arrived near the end of December, it had hit him hard. His immune system and his cold tolerance fell drastically from the accident in April, leading him prone to cold and sickness,  and He fell sick thrice just in December, one before Magnus’s birthday and the other two times, in this two weeks. The colds were terrible but Magnus cared about him so much. And he was just embarrassed being cared for so much. His internal conflict would be being a burden to the family and kept living. However, he still would like to live to the fullest as much as he could with Magnus and Syfia he cared about, thank you very much. There were also Underhill, Jace, Izzy, Max, Mr and Mrs.Lightwood, Cat, Ragnor, Rapheal and his precious, Otis. Alec thought of it and the list of people who were dear to him grew bigger and bigger. He started only knowing Magnus and Syfia.. then, the social circle grew. He liked them all and he knew they cared about him as much as he did. So he didn’t exactly want to die either.

Alec was so lost in thoughts when Magnus’s hand accidently grabbed his own in the popcorn bowl, as he was trying to grab some for himself. Alec flinched and bit his lip to calm down _. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out._ He prayed. Magnus was surprised but he smiled, not letting go of Alec’s hand. Instance, he grabbed it to his mouth and pretended to chew on it.

“Oh my god.. Magnus.. No!!!” Alec shrieked, trying to pull his hand back, giggling. Magnus laughed as he let go with a soft kiss on the knuckle. Alec blushed deeply. He actually wanted to bang his face to the wall so he would forget about the heat in his cheek. Soon after, Magnus put his hand on his forehead to check the temperature. It had gone down, compared to him a few hours earlier. Just after taking the meds, he had been cuddling with Magnus on the couch. Magnus didn’t seem to worry about catching his cold as it was neurotic non-contagious fevers. He was just happy to be there with Alec.

“Your fever seems to cool down, Alec.” Magnus smiled delightfully and Alec nodded. “But your face is still red though.” He teased.

“Be-because you just teased me..” Alec stuttered. _He tried to chew on his hand. He just tried to chew his hand and it was unbearably ticklish._

Magnus laughed as he rolled on his side to hugged him tightly. Alec was slender and thin due to his sickness and pain from the injury and fitted perfectly in his hands. He smelled good and felt warm from the residue fever. Magnus just loved holding him like this. Alec cleared his throat after a few minutes of being held. Catching his attention, Magnus looked up.

“Do you usually hold your previous lovers too?” Alec asked shyly with a lot of stutters in one mere sentence. Don’t get him wrong. He felt happy and loved but all those relationship things were new to him as he had never been in one. He was not even sure it was a question he should ask or not but needed to know. He was curious.. and slightly jealous of his former lovers. He didn’t even want to think of his future ones if Magnus did not ever love him anymore.

Magnus propped his one elbow to the sofa to lift himself up a little. He stared at Alec’s pretty hazel eyes and his other hand reached out to stroke his cheek gently. Just a hoarse _No_ sounded like a whisper to his ear and Alec gulped, completely believing in it.

“I have never done cuddles and those things to anyone. I have never chewed anyone’s fingers or nor had plans to. I had never loved anyone like this.” Magnus said and Alec’s breath hitched. “So you see, you are the first to clinch my heart fully, Alec. I love you. I can promise you that this is a love purer than any other love I have been in.” Magnus smiled and Alec was just so lost in it. He fell for this man. He fell hard.

Magnus held him in his arms again, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Alec’s neck, feeling at ease. Alec’s hands wrapped around on his shoulder as well and he wondered if Alec could feel how much he loved him. Alec was pure, innocent, sweet and caring. He was also the most beautiful person he had ever seen as well, even without all the expensive accessories, clothing or cosmetics. He loved the idea of having Alec, and coming back home to him. He felt perfect and completed. That was all he had ever wanted in his life.

Then again, Alec was staying at home most of the time. He had a lot of times to contemplate, alone on his wheelchair and he always tended to overthink, leading to anxiety and depression. Magnus couldn’t bear it when he cried from physical or emotional pain and Alec seemed to be in suffering alternately. He would try to accompany him and ease up his pain so far as Alec would let him to and he believed that Alec would be healed eventually in time.

Currently, Magnus was holding Alec in his arms and snuggling. The winter had been cold and it was snowing outside. He just snuggled closer to him and dozed off quickly for an afternoon nap. Alec had no choice but slumped into the sofa as Magnus fell asleep on him and he dozed off as well soon after.

***

Days passed spending together with Magnus, his mom and Otis. Each and everyday just passed by just like that. Pains and therapies weren’t easy to him but they had also passed eventually. Magnus had been so kind to him. He treated him so tenderly that Alec wasn’t enough of his love, their love or what they currently had. Alec was absentmindedly watching the tv in the living room again, Otis running in circle around him. He chuckled and stretched out his hand to Otis. Otis ran towards him with a huff and dropped his toy on his lap. He wanted to play catch so Alec threw his toy for Otis to fetch. He rushed out, picked up the toy and ran back to him, placing on his lap again. While he was playing, he saw Magnus came out of the room, all dressed up and make-uped. He grinned as he walked toward Alec.

“I thought you would be there by now.” Alec smiled as he saw the older man. Magnus shook his head, gave him a hug/squeeze from his waist and kissed on his cheek. Alec’s cheeks flared up red and his gold-green eyes could see the boy was delighted.

“I am terribly late.” Magnus rolled his eyes but with a laugh. “I am sorry, I couldn’t be around much these days, Love. There are a few important orders coming up. And I need to make sure they are perfect.”

Alec was going to say it wasn’t necessary for Magnus to say sorry but then, his eyes widened at the nickname. _Love? LOVE?_ He stared at him and froze, for like a few seconds... He couldn’t think anything anymore and he saw nothing but colourful circles dancing in black background now… brain-freeze?

“Alec, are you okay? Alec?” Magnus frowned and shook him by his shoulders gently. Alec blinked and ducked his head, his one hand reaching out to cover his mouth as he tried to maintain it. His whole face was a bright tomato now. _LOVE?!_

“It-it is o-okay.. I- I’m fine…, Magnus.” He stammered difficultly. Magnus tilted his head in confusion but smirked as he realized what had happened or how he caused it.

“You like it.” He decided and had a satisfied, proud smile on. Alec didn’t know what to respond to it but he shook his head vigorously. “Don’t lie.” Magnus added smugly and pulled him in but gently for a kiss.

Alec complied to it. The kiss was soft and tender and loving. Magnus softly nipped his bottom lip and Alec gasped to that. Because Magnus was that amazing, caring and lovely.

“Gosh, what do I do with you?” Magnus smiled as he gently rubbed his thumb over Alec’s pink, slightly swollen lips to wipe the excess saliva. Alec was still staring at him and unfocused with their surrounding yet. “I have to go now. What about we have a date this weekend, Alec? An official date.. Only you and me..”

“A- A date?” Alec exclaimed.

“Yes, we will go out somewhere and have fun the whole day. Maybe a movie and some food, some shopping..” Magnus wondered. Alec’s mouth was hang open by a date outside.

“I don’t know, Magnus.. I am not sure if it is a good idea…” Alec tried to protest.

“It is okay, Alec. I will take care ofnyou. Do you trust me?” Magnus asked. When Alec nodded, he planted a big smooch on his cheek and said goodbye to rush to his work, with a big smile on his face.

***

At work, Magnus’s concentrations were all scattered. He couldn’t stop feeling giddy and giggly time to time and ended up giggling to himself sometimes, but catching everyone’s attentions as their office/working space was small and tight. Rapheal huffed, Ragnor groaned and Catraina just smiled, happy for her best friend but couldn’t stop worrying about them. He had been smittened, who used to fool around in a lot of relationships and flings, who partied all nights and days for a month straight, had been captivated by a pure and innocent kid they all adorned. She just hoped that everything will work out well in the end.

“Happy?” Cat came towards with his desk with a piece of fabric she was sewing on to chat. Magnus nodded, his smile wide so hard that literally anyone could deny how happy he looked. “I hope you are taking care of that boy and making him happy, like as much as he makes you happy.”

“I am. I try to.” Magnus gestured. “This is more than what I have thought. He is amazing, and so sweet and selfless. He makes me happier. I just feel contented with him.”

“You look like you had eaten him for breakfast. Don’t do that.” Ragnor commented and Magnus frowned, looking incredibly pissed at Ragnor and threw a book towards him. He smirked proudly when the edge of the book hit Ragnor’s nose directly.

“Don’t say that to him like that. I would never touch him like that.” He argued.

Rapheal snorted at that. “Look, if you hurt him in the future, I will kill you. Alec is too pure and good for you. You are like messed up since your puberty.” He unkindly commented.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “I do take care of him and I will never try to hurt him, okay?” Magnus replied. “I am planning a date for us, movies, shopping and maybe a good food place. I have never worked myself this much for a date. I am so excited.”

***

So the date day happened. Alec rolled out of his room, dressing up to which Magnus had taken out of the wardrobe for him. He was wearing a comfortable black jean pants, a subtle fitted white T-shirt and a grey cardigan, in case he felt cold from the surrounding. When he rolled out, Magnus was already there on the living room sofa, seated grandly like a king and flipping a magazine out of interest. Alec cleared his throat and the ladder looked up in awe before his stare turned to a big smile.

“Alec, you look so handsome right now.” Magnus got up from the seat. “Like really really handsome, and pretty. Even with the simplest clothing.. You are still beautiful.” _The most beautiful person he had ever dated.._ Magnus wanted to add but he left it out.

“Thank you. You look so good now too..” Alec shyly complimented back, eyeing Magnus from head to toe and amazed how he managed to get to date his hot adoptive older brother. Magnus had very normal light makeup on today, just kohls around the eyes, light contours and a pink gloss. He was wearing a turtle neck black sweater, tight skinny purple jeans and holding a black velvet trunk coat in his hand. He toned his makeup down but not accessories. Silver necklaces hanged around his neck, dangling and popped out on his simple black sweater. Alec’s favourite would be the silver earcuff which shaped like a dragon with some hanging small silver beads details in the end. He looked tall, majestic and amazingly handsome right now. He could definitely and easily passed for a super model.

“Thank you. I dress to impress.” Magnus winked at him and asked if he could help Alec. After his approval, he took control of the handle and wheeled him to the car where he gently helped him to get into.

“This is our first date.” Magnus smiled as his hands rested on the car’s steering wheel.

“Yeah..” Alec breathed out. “I can’t believe it.”

Magnus made a confused face, not getting what Alec meant and planted to kiss his cheek gently. Alec laughed as he looked at Magnus fondly. Magnus just felt blessed in the moment. So he took out his phone, got closer to Alec and snapped a selfie quickly. Alec blushed and bit his lips adorably.

“I love it.” Magnus showed the selfie to Alec. “This is our first ever selfie.” Alec smiled and agreed that they both looked good. Soon, Magnus started driving to the shopping mall.

***

They went shopping. Magnus got a lot of new clothes and he spent like crazy. Alec was not sure if he should or should not say anything in it but he decided to let it go for their first going out. They spent a lot of time shopping which had been something he didn’t like, but this time, this time was different because he got his own private fashion show by Magnus. They got a private room which Magnus just changed into a lot of outfits and showed it to Alec. He had a lot of laughs and a great time. He had to admit Magnus looked good in any outfits. Magnus chose his clothes, also forced Alec to get a relatively too much clothes for him as well and casually asked the store manager to deliver them to their house as he was in the midst of a date. Then, they went for a restaurant as both of them were starving.

They went to a pizza restaurant and had a good time, other than the waiter tried to flirt his way to Magnus but he just ignored it. Even Alec could see the waiter was clearly upset that Magnus was not interested in him. Magnus wasn’t rude or hostile but he cared Alec more, clearly stating that he was only into him. Alec fell more into him, if it was possible. They talked, they laughed, they picked up pizza slices by hands and had it with coke. Magnus held his hand tenderly and occasionally and Alec just felt so happy, that he wondered if it was a dream.

After they got out of the restaurant, Magnus said he had already gotten movie tickets, reassuring worried Alec that there was nothing to be afraid of. They were in time for the movie, which Magnus chose to be a little late so others could already take their seats. They took the lift to the theatre and the seat Magnus had chosen was a couple seat at the back of the theatre and Magnus helped him into the seat, folding his chair neatly behind. For the first time, Alec felt it was so normal to be with this handsome man he had known for eight years.

The movie started and they had a great time. Magnus made sure Alec was warm and comfortable. There was a popcorn bucket in his hand. Everything was so quiet and peaceful. Magnus looked like he was so in love with him. In this moment, Alec felt nothing was wrong with the world. Nothing was wrong with him. He didn’t have depression. He didn’t had pain in the mornings or anytime. He was not paraplegic. The accident hadn’t happened. He was going to college with others. He was in love with Magnus Bane. _Yea.. only in this moment._

Magnus stayed patiently until the credits rolled so they would be left alone in the theatre, not fighting for exits with others. They got out peacefully, a half-full popcorn bucket still in his hand. They got out of the theatre, agreeing that it was time to get back home.

“It was good.” Magnus smiled as he looked at Alec. “Did you like it?”

“Yea. I like the movie. I like how considerate you are too.” Alec replied and Magnus was so pleased.

“I love the date, Alec. I enjoyed it. Let’s do it again soon?”

Alec nodded with a smile. Magnus helped him pushed his wheelchair, to head to the exit, but at the corner of his eyes, he saw a pair of heels with red sole, body-tight dress, red painted lips, beautiful brown hair and dark eyes staring at their way.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***
> 
> ✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩ͯ•͙͙✧⃝•͙͙✩ͯ┄•͙✧⃝•͙┄✩̣̣̣̣̣ͯ
> 
> So Happy New Yearrrrr~ *ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚ *̣̥☆·͙̥‧❄‧̩̥·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥˟͙☃˟͙‧̩̥·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥❄‧·͙̥̣☆*̣̥  
> I hope you will have amazing new 2019.
> 
> Please leave your comments. (*≧∀≦*)

**Author's Note:**

> ***
> 
> Tell me your opinions and thoughts below. Leave Kudos if you enjoy this.  
> Your kudos, bookmarks and comments make my days and it is very encouraging to write. <3 <3


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